


The Science of Letting Go

by yibaek



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Baekhyun is going through a breakup, Basically Baekchen are dumb, Breaking and Entering, Excessive Drinking, Extremely Sad Baekhyun, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, Unabashed Cuddling, Yixing has a step-by-step plan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-07-24 23:46:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16185683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yibaek/pseuds/yibaek
Summary: Baekhyun is unexpectedly dumped by who he thought was the love of his life. Through unusual (and slightly illegal) circumstances he meets Yixing, who takes it upon himself to help Baekhyun get over his heartbreak.





	1. Step One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun and Jongdae do something really dumb, and somehow don't get arrested for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BAEKXING DAY :D
> 
> GIANT thank u to kiki and han for helping me get through this/talking me through the blocks. this fic would've been abandoned without you guys so thank youuuuu <3
> 
> chapters will be up every few days, or weekly, depending on my personal schedule! hope you guys enjoy!

**Step One: Do Something Really Fucking Stupid**

“Listen, Baekhyun, as your Best Friend To End All Best Friends, trust me when I say: _move on._ Forget that son of a bitch and show him what you’re made of! Flaunt your stuff! Appreciate yo’self—”

“You’re right,” Baekhyun mutters, wiping at his watery eyes. With a resolute breath, he says it again, “You’re right.” He flinches at Jongdae’s triumphant cheer.

“Damn right I’m right! Now buck up and—”

“I’m gonna fuck up his shit.”

“What—”

“I’m gonna steal my favorite sweatshirt back.”

“Baekhyun, what the fuck—”

Baekhyun blinks at him, mouth curling into a weakly mischievous grin. “You wanna help me break into his house?”

“I—Sure, why not?”

 

 

Baekhyun and Yesung had been happy.

Baekhyun was eighteen years old when he met Yesung, twenty-one, at a frat pledge party and they were instant friends. They were both in the music department at their school and liked to sing and play the piano together, and Yesung had the nicest smile and the most adorable, carefree personality, but it wasn’t until the night of Baekhyun’s nineteenth birthday that they drank a little bit too much and fell into bed together.

The next morning was awkward and stunk of alcohol and morning breath tinged with more alcohol, but it was bright all the same, bright and happy because they were finally acknowledging the tension that had been brewing between them all along, finally discussing what they really wanted from each other in between hand-holding and inching closer and timid kisses.

Baekhyun was _happy._

And it’s not that Yesung wasn’t, at least Baekhyun doesn’t think so, it’s more that by the time they finally bucked up and got together, Yesung only had one summer and one semester of school left before he graduated, while Baekhyun still had two years to go.

So maybe Baekhyun knew there was a strain on their relationship, their schedules never really matched up anymore, but it still came as a complete shock when Yesung ended their relationship so suddenly. No discussions. Just… _you’ll find someone one day, Baekhyun. It’s just not me._

Despite Baekhyun being twenty-one now and a semester and summer from graduating, Yesung said it was “weird” dating someone still in school. It made him feel like he was “dating a kid.”

Baekhyun was so devastated he couldn’t get out of bed for days. Even now, he’s only up because Jongdae had—quite literally—broken into his room when it had reached the “This Is Too Pitiful, Baekhyun” stage and forced him into the shower while he whipped up something for lunch.

And then Jongdae has to drag him from there, because Baekhyun ends up staring at the wall thinking about how he’s only days away from turning 22 and he still has one last final for the semester and he can’t even remember the study material and he’s _boyfriend-less._

“Baekhyunnie, he’s not worth this,” Jongdae seems to be saying; his voice is uncharacteristically soft and that’s how Baekhyun knows he’s beyond fucked up over this.

“I just don’t understand,” Baekhyun suddenly sobs into his hands. “I thought he loved me.”

“Baekhyun…”

“Why wasn’t I worth it?”

Jongdae pulls him into his arms, shaking his head. “You _are_ worth it. And I’m going to kill Yesung for this.”

 

 

The process of breaking into a house is—

“Illegal,” Jongdae harshly whispers in Baekhyun’s ear, clearly having second thoughts. “This is _illegal.”_

—more complicated than Baekhyun thought.

And yes, also illegal, he thinks, gritting his teeth against the spare bobby-pin in his mouth; the original is in his hand and also the keyhole on the back door of the house, being jiggled around as if Baekhyun has any idea what he’s actually doing. Youtube videos on _how to lockpick your ex-boyfriend’s house_ didn’t really prepare him at all, it turns out. And these bobby-pins _suck,_ he aggressively makes a mental note to tell their neighbor, Seulgi, later. 

But it’s fine! “Iss fine,” he mumbles around the bobby-pin. Because it is! It’s Friday night and Yesung’s car is gone! They’re not breaking any windows! They can pick the lock on Yesung’s parents’ second house, grab Baekhyun’s sweater, and go.

“Oh my god Baekhyun, move and let me try,” Jongdae stands and pulls Baekhyun back by the hoodie of his black jacket, ignorant to the way Baekhyun falls on his ass and _chokes_ and saying, “All you were doing was jiggling it. You actually have to try turning it, dumbass!”

“You made me—“ Baekhyun wheezes. He punches the back of Jongdae’s shoulder. “You made me _swallow the bobby-pin you asshole!”_

“You deserve it for making me do something illegal.”

Baekhyun squawks. “You’re the one who immediately agreed!”

“Shh!” 

Huffing, Baekhyun gets back to his feet since he can’t see what Jongdae’s doing from the ground, and in considerably less time than it took Baekhyun to even _try,_ Jongdae manages to gently turn the lock in the door and slowly push it open.

“Whoa,” they both whisper.

They stand up straight and stare at each other a moment—Baekhyun isn’t sure what to do next—until Jongdae makes a face and waves his hand toward the now open doorway. “Well. After you, law-breaker.”

“Technically you’re the one who—“

“Baekhyun Byun if you don’t get your ass inside and hurry the fuck up I swear to god—“

“Okay, okay…”

The house is dark as Baekhyun slips in, but he’s been here so many times, he doesn’t really need light.

And then he runs into an entry table.

“What the—“ he whispers. “That’s never been here before!”

“It’s called rearranging, Baek, now shut up!”

The house is dark, and Baekhyun can’t shake the eerie feeling crawling across his skin as he hurries to the stairs, white-knuckling the railing as he starts to climb them, Jongdae right behind him. Baekhyun doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, worried; no one’s home. Yesung lives alone thanks to his parents’ wealth and his car isn’t in the driveway, so there’s _nothing to worry about,_ and yet…

“Ahh, Jongdae, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“We’re already at the top of the stairs, dumbass.” Jongdae gently shoves him. “Just grab your sweatshirt from his closet so we can get out of here.”

Baekhyun whines, but nods and scurries down the hallway, trying to ignore his own caution by bursting into the room and running to the closet. “Shine your phone flashlight on the clothes… none of these feel like sweatshirts…”

Jongdae switches on the flashlight.

“I tend to prefer keeping my winter clothes in storage.”

Baekhyun and Jongdae both shout, and Baekhyun trips when he tries to back away, falling to his butt. 

“You know, to have more closet-space.”

Jongdae bravely shines his phone’s light on the unfamiliar voice’s face, and Baekhyun’s heart sinks deep into his stomach when he realizes he’s never seen this man before in his life. “Who are you?!” Jongdae shouts.

The stranger flips the bedroom light on from where he’s propped against the doorway, arms crossed. “I’d say _shouldn’t I be asking you that_ but judging by the voices you didn’t try to keep quiet at all, I’d say you’re Jongdae?” He correctly points to Jongdae, then at Baekhyun. “And you’re dumbass? Did your mother or father pick out that name?”

“What the fuck,” Baekhyun sort of squeaks. It’s not his proudest moment. “Why the fuck aren’t you like, scared? Or-Or calling the police?!”

_”Shut up, Baekhyun—“_

The stranger shrugs. “You don’t seem to have any weapons and I overheard most if not all of your conversation, and your intention doesn’t seem entirely malicious.” He cocks his head to the side, unreasonably cute when his black hair falls in his eyes, Baekhyun thinks. “You’re looking for a sweatshirt?”

“It was…” Baekhyun sighs, eyes burning as he stares at the floor instead. “Are you his new boyfriend? Is that why he…”

“Whose new boyfriend? I don’t have any boyfriends.”

“Yesung? Don’t lie to me. I’d rather know the truth.”

“Oh.” The stranger chuckles. “Now this makes sense. Yesung is who lived here before me. That’s the only reason I know the name. The owners’ son.”

Baekhyun blinks back up at him, heart stuttering. “L-Lived here before… you…? He-He moved out?”

“Yes…” The stranger actually looks concerned, and Baekhyun realizes how pathetic he must appear to make a victim of his breaking and entering feel _concern_ for him. “I just moved in two days ago. This is a great housewarming gift, by the way. You shouldn’t have.”

“We really, really shouldn’t have,” Jongdae laughs nervously. “I’m so sorry. He’s heartbroken and he wanted his sweatshirt back and Yesung is an asshole so I helped him and—“

The stranger holds a hand up, shaking his head. “Honestly? No harm, no foul.” Relief washes over the room. “You gave me a goddamn heart attack when I heard you picking the lock at first, but…” He shrugs. “I get it. Plus, if his parents are any indication of his character, I _really_ get it.”

Baekhyun can’t help but laugh, a single tear dripping down his cheek. “His parents are fucking awful.” He rubs at his nose before accepting the hand Jongdae holds out to help hoist him up from the floor. “Sorry,” Baekhyun mutters. “We’ve taken up enough of your time. We should go.”

“Probably a good idea.”

Jongdae hurries to squeeze through the bedroom door, taking great care not to bump the stranger, and Baekhyun trudges behind him, almost to the door when a hand falls onto his shoulder and squeezes. “Hey,” the stranger says, and Baekhyun looks at him, surprised. “It gets better. I promise.”

Baekhyun swallows. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“I know. But trust me, I’m an expert.” The man smiles a little crookedly, putting a dimple on his cheek and patting Baekhyun’s shoulder before dropping his hand to his side. “You’ll survive.”

Sighing, Baekhyun nods again, slipping past him only to stop again, peering over his shoulder at the stranger. “Thanks for not like, knocking us out and calling the police.”

The man shrugs. “Sorry you didn’t get what you came for.”

Baekhyun shrugs right back.

“Dude, _holy shit!”_ Jongdae whisper-yells once they’re at the end of Yesung’s—the stranger’s—driveway, turning left to head for Baekhyun’s car. He punches Baekhyun’s shoulder. “We could’ve died!”

“Yah, but we didn’t!” Baekhyun pouts, rubbing where Jongdae hit him.

“That dude was weirdly nice. I definitely would’ve called the cops.”

“Same.” Baekhyun giggles, the absurdity of the situation finally hitting him. “We fucking broke into a house.”

“Yes, and let’s _please_ never do it again!”

Baekhyun nods. “Agreed.”

They reach the old, chipped grey Honda and climb inside. “You okay, Baek?”

The idea is laughable to Baekhyun; everything is so laughable but he’d rather just _cry._ “No. No, I’m not.”

 

 

The stranger said things would get better, but a week, two, passes and Baekhyun isn’t so sure. Not when his good days always turn bad, and his bad days never turn good.

He’s a zombie stumbling through his everyday routine, not absorbing anything from his classes, and forcing hurt smiles at his customers at the campus coffee shop.

People ask him what’s wrong. _What’s wrong with you, Baekhyun? You’re the happiest person I know! You’re not allowed to be sad!_ Because he remembers the name of 98% of his customers and always reserves a smile and questions about their day for each of them, but he’ll be damned if he’s not _allowed_ to be sad.

He gets sent home, when someone says it for the third time in one shift and he turns around and walks to the back without warning, closing himself in the storage closet and willing himself not to start crying. The manager on duty, Kris, comes to the door a couple of minutes later, using an unreasonably soft voice to call Baekhyun’s name.

“Am I fired?” Baekhyun sniffles.

“No, Baek. It’s okay. But I am sending you home for the day, alright?” Kris sighs. “Get some rest and maybe take tomorrow off, too. I’ll cover for you.”

Baekhyun swallows, trembling hands covering his face as he cries. “Thanks.”

That’s how he finds himself at the nearby farmers’ market, oblivious to the bustle of people around him as he stares, unseeing, at an apple in his hand. Yesung loves apples, and anything apple-flavored. He really loves this green apple beer that Baekhyun thinks is nothing but sour, but he’d still drink it anytime Yesung asked, because Yesung always smiled when he did, and Yesung’s smile was worth the bad taste in his mouth.

“What did that apple ever do to you?” a voice suddenly asks from right next to him. Baekhyun startles, dropping the apple on the ground and blinking rapidly at the… the stranger that moved into Yesung’s house.

“You—“

“I didn’t make you drop the apple to an untimely death,” the man says, shaking his head. There’s a quirk to his lips, amusement, maybe. “I think that was premeditated.”

The words make Baekhyun glance down at the ground to see the apple in question a couple of feet away from them now, with a sizable dent in it. “Oh.”

“It was a bad apple anyway.” The man nudges him with his elbow. “Too soft. Maybe…” 

Baekhyun’s eyes follow the movement of the man’s fingers as they skim across the batch of apples in front of them, plucking a much healthier looking one from the middle and offering it to Baekhyun. “I-I don’t want an apple,” he mutters, glancing down, away from the way the man’s friendly smile drops just a little.

“Okay then! What kind of fruit do you like?”

“Um…” Baekhyun blinks, racking his brain for an answer, but it’s so hard to think when all he seems to know now is _Yesung. Worthless. Yesung. Too Good For You._ “Strawberries?”

The man giggles. It’s… cute. “You sure about that?”

Baekhyun huffs out half of a laugh. “Yeah. I like strawberries.”

“Come on, then.” The man gently grasps Baekhyun by the elbow and starts pulling him away from the apple stand. “I’ll help you pick fresh ones.”

“Okay…” Baekhyun responds, because he doesn’t know what else to say. Until… “What’s your name?”

The man turns to him, that same friendly smile from before stretching his full lips. “Yixing. And you’re… Baekhyun, right? Isn’t that what your friend called you?”

Baekhyun nods, smile a little shy. “Shouldn’t you be… I don’t know? Running and screaming at the sight of me? After…” _After breaking into your house in the middle of the night._

“Running and screaming is a little extreme, no?” Yixing shrugs, tugging Baekhyun next to him when they reach the strawberry stand. “Avoiding, maybe.” Baekhyun snorts. “But it was my duty as a moral citizen to stop you from murdering anymore innocent apples, you see. Therefore, my needs don’t matter.”

“Ah, so you serve the fruit.”

“Precisely.” Yixing winks at him. “Now, let’s pick you the best batch of strawberries. Oh!” he exclaims, picking up potentially the biggest strawberry Baekhyun’s ever seen. “There’s a station here that will make smoothies from whatever fruit you bring them! Do you like smoothies?”

“I—“ Baekhyun grabs a nearby basket and holds it out for Yixing to start dropping fruit into. “Um, yes.”

“Good! I’ll pack extra for us.” Yixing takes the basket into his own hands. 

“Us?”

Yixing shrugs. “What? I like smoothies too.”

Baekhyun blinks at him, and then the ground, uncertain as to the point of all of this, or why Yixing is willingly spending time with the asshole that broke in. But Yixing’s smile is nice, his dimples are cute, and it’s warm enough outside to make his hair stick to his forehead, and Baekhyun finds the sight a little addicting. He doesn’t remember the stranger—Yixing—being so attractive that night at his house, but Baekhyun was so overwhelmed with panic and sadness, that maybe he just didn’t have his eyes open.

After a moment of contemplation, Baekhyun bites the inside of his lip, wipes his forehead, and joins Yixing’s side at the wide display of strawberries, exchanging a small smile for Yixing’s broad one. 

“This one looks yummy,” Baekhyun says in a small voice, pointing at the juicy strawberry in question, but he hates that he doesn’t even recognize himself, that even his voice doesn’t match him anymore.

“Well then we have to get this one,” Yixing obliges, plucking it from the rack and setting it in the corner of their shopping basket, away from the other ones. _I guess he’s trying to keep our orders separate._ “Any others that catch your eye, ya hooligan?”

A laugh unexpectedly forces its way from Baekhyun’s chest and he covers his mouth, eyes narrowing with glee at his new companion. “I’m a hooligan now?”

“You _did_ break into my house.”

“Who even says hooligan anymore?” Baekhyun asks, still giggling.

At that, Yixing smiles down at the strawberries, amused and bright as the sun they’re surrounded in. “People who want to make you laugh like that.”

Baekhyun’s lips part in surprise; he can only watch as Yixing continues to carefully choose strawberries for their basket. 

“You have a really nice smile, Baekhyun. You should brighten up the world with it more often.” Yixing pauses, expression softening when he glances at Baekhyun. “When you’re ready to, of course.”

 

 

Whether Yixing meant to or not, he puts a crack in Baekhyun’s wall that he’s built up so carefully since Yesung left, just like that. As if it was the easiest thing in the world, as if Baekhyun could be broken down so easily when Jongdae nor Kyungsoo have managed to break through in _weeks._

But maybe it takes a stranger, maybe it takes someone who knows nothing about Baekhyun to really get down to the guts of Baekhyun’s feelings and the way he’s been living, to really shake his routine up.

All he knows is by the time they’re done picking strawberries and planning to head to blueberries and raspberries and bananas next, they’re leaned into each other’s spaces and laughing their goddamn asses off because Baekhyun found a strawberry that looks like Jongdae, and Baekhyun can’t even remember the last time he laughed like this.

 

 

Their basket is all but overflowing by the time they’re done, and Baekhyun is breathless by the time they let the stand owner know they’re ready to check out. “I think you cleared me out, kids!” the old man jokes, happily taking the basket and setting it on his table so he can start bagging everything up. 

“I think we have enough for at least _ten_ smoothies, Yixing,” Baekhyun giggles. He feels a little drunk on the feeling of laughter alone.

Yixing chuckles, reaching over to pinch Baekhyun’s cheek as casually as if they’ve known each other for fifteen years, and not fifteen days. Not even that. They met fifteen days ago, but they’re only getting to know each other now. Today. One day, and they’re already giggling and pinching cheeks. “You’re cute, Baekhyun.” Yixing drops his hand. “That just means there’s plenty for each of us to take home after.”

Baekhyun hums, struggling to not touch his cheek. “I guess I could pre-make some smoothies for myself at the coffee shop.” He sighs. “If they actually let me come back.”

“You work at a coffee shop?”

“Mm. The one on campus downtown.” Baekhyun scratches his neck. “They sent me home early today. ‘S why I’m here.”

“You didn’t feel well?”

“Something like that.”

Yixing only waits for him to continue.

So Baekhyun sighs again. “Everyone knows me there, and I just—I’m just so tired of being told that I’m Baekhyun and I’m not allowed to be sad.”

“People really say that to you?”

“Their hearts are in the right place, like, I know they’re just trying to be nice in some twisted, condescending way. But I don’t know. Today I just broke.”

Yixing moves closer, just barely, but Baekhyun notices it nonetheless. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I’d been there for two hours and by the time I’d been told to smile for the third time I just… broke. I just walked to the back and started crying.” Yixing’s hand rests on his shoulder, squeezing. “I figured I’d be fired for it, honestly, but my managers are all good people. Kris said I wasn’t fired, but that I should take the rest of today and tomorrow off. It felt just as bad as the idea of being fired, though.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m tired of feeling weak. It’s been weeks since Yesung broke up with me and I’m still lifeless because of it.”

“That doesn’t make you weak.”

“But it’s—“ Baekhyun shakes his head, locking eyes with Yixing. “—it’s not a way worth living, you know? Why am I still so fucking miserable when it was so easy for him to leave me?”

When Baekhyun’s eyes suddenly fill with useless tears, Yixing quickly exchanges a few words with the fruit vendor and slides a bill across the table before leading Baekhyun away from the booth altogether, keeping a soothing hand on his back as they head to the outskirts of the farmer’s market where there’s umbrella covered seating.

Yixing beelines for the purple umbrella; it’s farthest away from the majority of the crowd, and he sits Baekhyun down before scooting onto the bench next to him, rubbing his back.

“What about the fruit?” Baekhyun whispers, turning away so he can wipe at his face with some shred of dignity. Yixing squeezes Baekhyun’s neck, and it’s the most comforting thing he’s ever felt, Baekhyun thinks.

“He’s going to hold it for us. We’ll go back for it.”

“I’m such an idiot.”

Yixing sighs, now massaging Baekhyun’s neck. “You’re not.”

“We were having a good time, and I just—“

“Baekhyun. People grieve differently, you know. You clearly loved this dumbass a lot. Of course you’re hurt. There’s nothing wrong with hurting.”

Folding his arms on the table, Baekhyun drops his forehead to them, secretly glad Yixing doesn’t stop his ministrations. “I want to stop hurting.” The tears dripping down his nose tickle, so he wipes them on his arm. 

“It takes time, trespasser.”

Baekhyun can’t help but snort. “I hate you.”

“Nah,” Yixing sighs out, wistful.

Baekhyun shakes his head before turning it to watch Yixing watch him. He sniffles. “Nah.”

With a crooked smile, Yixing curls his finger and uses his knuckle to stop a tear from dripping down Baekhyun’s nose. “You know, I’ve got this sort of… step-by-step plan that’s supposed to help people let go.”

“What are you, a motivational speaker?”

Yixing’s grin widens. “No, just a guy who’s had his heart broken too many times.” Yixing chuckles. “By people, I mean me. I’ve never shared this with anyone other than my best friend.”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes. “It works?”

“It does for me.” Yixing shrugs. “Everyone is different. But I’m willing to help you move on.”

“So I’m not a hopeless cause?”

With an easy, dimpled smile, Yixing says, “Not even a little hopeless.”

Baekhyun hums, a little pleased. “You barely even know me. Why would you help me?”

“Well, despite your budding career as a criminal—“ Baekhyun groans. “—I guess I see something in you. That’s cheesy. I just mean, I’ve been in your shoes more times than I’d like to admit, and it fucking sucks, I know. You’re stuck in a rut, and I can help get you out of it. Or I can try at least.”

Sitting up, Baekhyun takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay. Lay it on me.”

“I can’t just reveal the whole process right away.” Yixing scoffs. “What if you try to rush through the steps? It needs to happen at a natural pace. There’s a science to it. Not an exact science, if that makes sense—“

“It doesn’t.” Baekhyun grins when Yixing pokes him.

“Anyway, delinquent—“

“Stop!” Baekhyun cackles, nudging him with his elbow. Yixing only nudges him back.

“The good news is, you’ve already completed step one.”

Baekhyun frowns. “I have?”

“Mmhm. _Do something really fucking stupid.”_

Baekhyun bursts out laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Oh, very.” Yixing leans over the table, lazily propping his chin up using his elbow. Baekhyun moves with him, resting his chin back on his arms and peering up at Yixing. “A foolproof basis for healing.”

“You make making dumbass decisions sound so sophisticated.”

Yixing winks. “It’s part of my charm.”

“Clearly.” Baekhyun giggles when Yixing pokes his nose.

“You feeling better?”

“Yeah. Thanks. You gonna tell me more about this science of yours?”

Baekhyun watches as Yixing’s full lips poke out in a thoughtful pout. “All in due time.”

“So after smoothies?”

Yixing chuckles. “After smoothies.”

He’s first to get up from the table, and once he’s firmly on his feet, he grabs Baekhyun’s hand and tugs until he’s up too and dragging him across the market, back to the fruit vendor to pick up their fruits.

Baekhyun looks up from their entwined hands to find the vendor smiling at them, a mischievous twinge to it. “Better?” he asks, which makes Baekhyun blush.

“Uh, yes, thank you.” He lets go of Yixing when the man starts handing over the bags, taking two into one hand and digging in his pocket for his wallet with the other.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yixing says, picking up the last bag and throwing a smile toward him. “I already covered everything.”

“Oh. But—“

“Just say thank you, Yixing, and move on.”

Baekhyun pokes the dimple on Yixing’s cheek. “Thank you, Yixing,” he obliges, laughing when the vendor says it with him.

 

 

The sun is beating down on the back of Baekhyun’s neck as they wash their fruit at the smoothie stand, elbow to elbow and casual conversation flowing freely between them. Baekhyun takes a short break to roll his sleeves up his shoulder, smiling as Yixing recounts stories of growing up in China, the nostalgia rolling off of him in waves.

Baekhyun’s learned a lot already; it turns out Yixing is 25, three and a half years older than himself, is an increasingly successful music producer despite never finishing college, and he’s actually been in town for a few months, but was set up in a hotel until the offer from Yesung’s house came, hence his familiarity with the market, and his camaraderie with the smoothie vendor, who keeps exchanging frustrated or amused comments in Mandarin with him.

It takes a moment for Baekhyun to realize he’s being stared at, and when he meets Yixing’s eyes, the latter smiles. “Hot?”

“Getting there.” Baekhyun shrugs. “Finish your story.” He likes listening to Yixing speak, though he’s not sure that’s something he should admit out loud.

Yixing hums, reaching over toward the bag of strawberries and plucking one out; Baekhyun watches as it gets washed thoroughly, and then as it’s held up to his lips, Yixing unabashed as he urges him to take a bite.

Hesitant, Baekhyun parts his lips, eyes never leaving Yixing’s as he moves forward. It suddenly feels much, much hotter outside than Baekhyun would like to admit, almost unbearable, until he sinks his teeth into the fruit and breaks down into giggles over the feeling of juice dripping down his chin instead.

He hurries to cover his mouth and mess, wiping his chin on his shoulder as Yixing takes the last small bite of the strawberry for himself.

“That was really good,” Baekhyun finally gasps out, doing his best not to freeze when Yixing wipes at what must be some spare juice on his chin.

Yixing agrees. “Maybe you don’t have poor taste after all. That was the first one you picked out.”

“Are you comparing my taste in fruit to my taste in men?!”

“I think I was implying that your taste in fruit makes up for your taste in men.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Baekhyun laughs, picking up a small handful of blueberries and running them under the water. “Yixing: Love Guru.”

“I’m not—“

“You literally have a step-by-step program to get over an ex. Who’s to say you don’t also have something to get people together?”

“Now you’re being ridiculous.” Yixing giggles, plucking a blueberry from Baekhyun’s hand and eating it. Baekhyun holds the blueberries in both of his hands out toward Yixing, opening his mouth as he does. “You’re a baby, oh my god.” Yet Yixing feeds him a blueberry anyway. 

Baekhyun preens. “And you’re a love guru.”

“I will drop kick you right here.”

“So violent for a guru.” Yixing kicks Baekhyun’s shin. “Ahh!” Baekhyun cackles. “You can call me every synonym for criminal but I can’t call you a love guru?!”

Yixing’s shaking his head, but there’s this smile on his face that reveals more than one dimple, and it’s the sweetest thing really. Baekhyun finds himself poking them, mindless to their closeness after only knowing each other for today.

Yixing pretends to bite at his fingers, making Baekhyun giggle incessantly.

He hasn’t felt this good in weeks.

 

 

The smoothies are delicious enough to make Baekhyun run back to the vendor and buy some of her homemade yogurt, and when he sits back down under the purple umbrella across from Yixing, their feet are touching, and neither of them seem to care one bit.

“How long were you and Yesung together?”

Baekhyun blinks, a rush of sorrow washing over him as he stares at the table between them. “Only a year.”

“You don’t have to dismiss it like that.”

“Like what?”

“‘Only a year.’ That doesn’t change the fact that you’re hurting, or make you less worthy of feeling that hurt. Were you friends before?”

Baekhyun nods, eyes still locked on the table, fingers gripping the cup in front of him like a lifeline. Yixing’s feet slide more comfortably against his own, a gesture of comfort. “I met him when I started uni. We clicked right away. But maybe the fact that our relationship started because of drunken sex was a bad sign.”

Yixing grimaces. “It’s not _bad,_ but sometimes that does set a rocky foundation to build your relationship on.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispers, but then he’s shaking his head, as if to rid himself of the bad thoughts, and he puts on a wobbly smile. “No point in dwelling, right?”

Yixing sighs. “Right.” After a stretching moment of silence, he adds, “You’re going to hit step two on your own, I think.” He frowns just a little, then grabs Baekhyun’s abandoned phone and puts his number in, making Baekhyun’s eyes go wide. “Call me when you do something you regret.”

“I won’t—“

Yixing shakes his head. “Maybe you need to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos/comments if you liked it~ <3 ily guys
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/baekville).


	2. Step Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun does something regretful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's yixing day!!! :D
> 
> okay, so i found a couple of continuity errors in the first chapter after it was already posted, so just in case there's any confusion (if anyone remembers what i originally wrote), jongdae and kyungsoo both live with baekhyun, and they're all best friends~
> 
> TW: excessive drinking.

**Step Two: (Inevitably) Do Something (Else) You Regret**

The word ‘regret’ echos in Baekhyun’s head unendingly after his afternoon with Yixing. It’s like a virus, infecting him with anxiety over the mere idea that Yixing thinks he’s too far down in the pits of misery to avoid doing something he’ll regret.

 _i won’t do something i regret!!!!_ he texts Yixing that same night, despite the fact he was only invited to call when things got hairy. But if he says it enough, it’ll be true. Right?

_we always do shit we regret, baekhyun. it’s part of living_

Baekhyun sighs and falls face-first into his pillow. He can hear Jongdae and their other roommate, Kyungsoo conversing in the living room. He wonders if they’re discussing how pathetic Baekhyun is. He certainly wouldn’t blame them.

Another sigh, a groan, and Baekhyun’s muffled voice speaks into his pillow, “I won’t do something I regret.”

 

 

It takes two days for Baekhyun to eat his words. Two days for him to make the bright decision to go out drinking with his roommates and their other closest friend slash Kyungsoo’s not-so-secret admirer, Chanyeol. Chanyeol is also friends with Yesung. Baekhyun’s been avoiding him like the plague until now.

His first mistake.

Chanyeol comes over to pick them all up in his fancy Jeep, but Jongdae isn’t ready yet, so it’s just Baekhyun in the living room, looking away every time Kyungsoo blushes and giggles at Chanyeol’s blatant attempts at affection.

Kyungsoo never giggles. Baekhyun already feels like he wants to cry at the realization that Kyungsoo must feel the way Baekhyun always felt with Yesung. And Baekhyun can’t feel that anymore.

He finds himself in the kitchen downing straight shots of Vodka which he fucking _hates,_ but anything is better than feeling jealous over some of his best friends finding happiness in each other.

It loosens his inhibitions enough to pull his phone from his back pocket and ask Yixing out with them. Yixing sounds like a good idea; Yixing is attractive and fun and touchy like Baekhyun and would make a great companion on their endeavors tonight.

_sorry, baekhyun, i can’t. i have a deadline._

Baekhyun tries not to take it personally. He and Yixing barely know each other; asking him to come out for drinks was silly and stupidly bold.

Baekhyun throws back two more shots. One for Yixing, one in remembrance of his own pride.

“Hey, Baek…” Chanyeol’s deep voice rings from the kitchen doorway. “How are you holding up? I haven’t seen you…”

“‘M great, thanks.”

“Are you already drunk?” Chanyeol steps up to him, a hand landing on Baekhyun’s shoulder. Baekhyun doesn’t know whether to shove it off or cower into it.

“So I had a few sh-shots. Whatever.” He lets Chanyeol’s hand stay.

But a simple gesture turns into Chanyeol pulling Baekhyun into a hug, and Baekhyun automatically feels the tears well up, eyes burning, vision blurry. “You can barely handle a couple of beers.” Chanyeol is quiet for only a moment before he says, “I’m sorry, Baek. I’m sorry he’s an idiot and doesn’t do anything right.”

_Why did he leave me?_ Baekhyun wants to ask, to sob, but he pushes away from Chanyeol instead, turns his back to him. He’s tired of being the bumbling mess his friends have to pick up the pieces of. And the irrational part of him feels like showing Chanyeol this weakness is equivalent to showing Yesung. He can’t have that.

“Baekhyunnie, you can talk to me—“ Chanyeol tries, but Baekhyun is dismissing him with a silent shake of his head.

That’s when Kyungsoo walks in. One look at the pain on Baekhyun’s face, the tears building in his eyes, and he’s in protective mode. “Yeol, give me a second?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol mutters. “Yeah, of course.”

When Chanyeol is out of sight, Kyungsoo hurries forward and wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s neck, pulling until Baekhyun’s face is nestled against Kyungsoo’s neck. That’s all it takes for the dam to break, every thought about staying strong for his friends forgotten as silent sobs rack his body. “I’m sorry,” he cries.

“Why are you apologizing?” Kyungsoo sighs. “I thought this might happen. I knew you were avoiding him for a reason.”

“I kn-know I’m not being rational—“

“It’s okay. You’re still hurting. I get it. Chanyeol is his best friend.” Kyungsoo’s fingers card through Baekhyun’s hair as he hesitates. “Chanyeol won’t hurt you, though, you know. He’s been as worried about you as the rest of us. He—“

Baekhyun frowns, picking his head up to see Kyungsoo’s blurry face. “He what?”

Kyungsoo visibly hesitates, but then he sighs. “When I told him that Yesung left you, Chanyeol went over to his house and punched him.”

Baekhyun feels his jaw drop on its own. “Wh-What? Chanyeol wouldn’t—wouldn’t hurt a fly…”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo chuckles. “But he did for you.” He takes Baekhyun’s face in his hands, wiping at his tears and making him focus. “You deserve so much better than Yesung, Baek. I’m just waiting for you to see that.”

Baekhyun backs away and pulls his hand down his face. “C-Can you guys just go without me? I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go out anymore.”

“Baek…” Kyungsoo frowns. “Are you sure? I can stay with you—“

“No.” Baekhyun forces a smile. “No. Have fun with Chanyeol, yeah?”

“Then Jongdae can—“

Baekhyun shakes his head. “Stop. I’m tired of holding people back. Just go. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t drink—“

“I won’t.”

 

 

But he does. The second his friends are out the door, he’s got the Vodka bottle in hand, shot glass forgotten on the kitchen counter.

He stumbles into the living room and crashes on the couch, spilling a little liquor on himself and giggling, though the sound comes out less than amused.

Fate has decided to hand him a win by putting his favorite movie on TV—he’ll realize later “fate” is actually Kyungsoo—so he cozies up with a pillow and manages to be distracted enough to only sip on the Vodka, as if it’s wine and not something that tastes like kerosene and is turning everything into the most dizzying of blurs.

The distraction only works for so long. It would be easier if someone had stayed with him, someone that would’ve cuddled him better than this pillow, someone that would’ve talked him out of diving deeper and deeper into sadness, someone that could’ve prevented this altogether…

He misses Yesung so goddamn much, it _hurts._

“What do I do?” he asks himself aloud, words a slurring mess on his tongue. “Distraction… Dis-Distraction…”

He considers the possibilities: turn the TV volume up and force himself to focus on dinosaurs rampaging, crank up the PS4 and find something to play, watch porn and get off, take a cab and meet his friends after all…

But the idea of having to face Chanyeol after being embarrassing earlier is enough to have him cowering into the couch, as far away from the front door as possible, and honestly, none of his other options sound that appealing either. He’s restless and jittery and not numb enough.

He takes as big of a swig of alcohol as he can before setting the bottle on the table next to the couch and digging his phone out to scroll through social media. Reading shitposts might be a good distraction.

When he gets bored with Twitter, he moves over to Instagram and goes straight to a couple of Not-Safe-For-Work pages, thinking maybe he can inspire himself to want to jerk off and go to sleep, but even though he likes what he sees, he just doesn’t have it in him tonight to muster up a fantasy, or, honestly, to put in the effort it would take to take his pants off.

He clicks the home tab out of mere habit and freezes when he sees the first post on his feed.

It’s not even the cute picture of Chanyeol nuzzling into Kyungsoo’s cheek while Kyungsoo does his Chanyeol-only-giggle; they’re sitting on a curb outside what must be the bar they went to.

It’s not even the caption, which reads _’can finally call kyungsoo mine. look how cute my boyfriend (!!!!!!!) is!!!’_

It’s the comment underneath that from Yesung.

_’i wish i had someone like that lol cute! congrats :)’_

Baekhyun’s heart stops beating before it shatters into a million indecipherable pieces. “You had me,” he suddenly sobs. “Why wasn’t I enough?”

The liquor bottle is back in his hand and being tipped into his mouth before he fully realizes what he’s doing, but he’s too far gone to care. He drinks until there’s nothing coming out of it anymore, until he can barely see, whether it be from tears or drunkenness.

He drops the bottle on the floor. “Yesung,” he cries into his phone after listening to the voicemail message. “Y-You know—I-I loved you—“ He hiccups. “Wh-Why wasn’t that enough? Why d-did you leave me? I thought—I-I thought we were s-so good together…” A moment passes, Baekhyun unable to speak through overwhelming sobs. “Is it r-really ‘cause I-I’m too young? I-I th-thought maybe you—you didn’t want me ‘cause y-you found someone else, but—but you j-just told Yeollie you d-didn’t! I-I’m only two years y-younger than you!” 

Baekhyun almost drops the phone and curses. “Please c-come back to me, Yesung. Please. I-I love you so much—I’ll do an-anything! I-I’ll be anything you want m-me to be! Please,” he cries. “Please…”

In the following silence, filled only with Baekhyun’s crying, the phone beeps, indicating he’s run out of time to leave a message.

_”Fine!”_ he shouts. “I’ll say it all to y-your face!”

He stands up too quickly, and immediately falls back to the couch, but that doesn’t stop him. It takes a few tries, but he finally manages to stand up, walk to the front door, find his wallet in his jacket pocket, and leave.

Someone calls him a cab, he’s honestly not sure who, because he forgot to do that, but they do and he trips into it and slurs out the only address he knows by heart other than his own and his parents’, and the driver looks at him in the rear view mirror with this pathetic kind of concern. 

“Are you alright, kid? You in trouble?”

“No. I just need to get to my—my boyfriend’s house.”

“Alright…”

By the time they stop, Baekhyun is slumped over, lying across the backseat and unsure if he can get back up.

The cab door by his face opens, and unfamiliar hands wedge under his armpits and pull, hoisting him forward and helping him from the car. “Come on, kid,” the driver grunts.

Baekhyun finds his footing by the time his legs are out of the car, but he grips the driver’s arm until he’s steady enough to stand on his own again. “Thanks,” he mutters, opening his wallet and shoving a bill at him.

“No problem. Hope you feel better.”

“Me too.”

And with that, the cab is gone.

His feet feel like lead, but Baekhyun takes every step as confidently as he can anyway until he’s at the door and knocking, beating on it. He’ll show Yesung what he’s missing!

Only when the door finally opens, the disgruntled man standing before him in a tank top and sweats isn’t his ex-boyfriend. It’s Yixing.

Baekhyun remembers now. Yesung moved. He left Baekhyun in every sense. He’s gone.

Baekhyun collapses in his sadness, uncaring to whether Yixing catches him or not.

But Yixing does. “I said call me,” he grumbles, begrudgingly dragging Baekhyun inside. “Not show up at my house at one o’clock in the morning.”

“‘M sorry,” Baekhyun quietly cries, clinging to Yixing’s arms. “I forgot for a second—th-that he left. I’m sorry…”

Yixing is quiet for a moment, until he deposits Baekhyun on a couch in a small room that Baekhyun doesn’t even recognize. He thinks this used to be the video game room. But his attention is averted when Yixing kneels down in front of him, thumbs kneading comforting circles into Baekhyun’s knees. “It’s okay,” Yixing says, much softer than before. “How much have you had to drink, huh?”

“Bottle.”

“A bottle of? Not beer, clearly.”

“No. Vodka.”

“A whole bottle?”

Baekhyun feels his bottom lip tremble. Why does he feel like he’s in trouble? “Wasn’t full. Almost.”

“Baekhyun,” Yixing gently scolds. “You could get alcohol poisoning or something!”

Fat tears roll down Baekhyun’s cheeks then and he grasps at Yixing’s hands as if it’s the only way to make him understand. “I’m sorry. I-I just wanted to stop feeling so bad.”

Yixing’s concerned expression softens, and he uses their entwined hands to wipe at Baekhyun’s cheeks. “I know, Baekhyun. I know. But it didn’t work, right? You feel worse, don’t you?”

Baekhyun nods. “I don’t—I don’t understand why I w-wasn’t good enough. He—“ Baekhyun closes his eyes. “Our mutual friends just got together and he said ‘I wish I had someone like that’ but I was right here!” Yixing uses their hands to pull Baekhyun to him, and Baekhyun just falls forward, pressing his face into the crook of Yixing’s neck. “I was right here.”

“It’s okay.” Yixing shushes him, holding him tight. “I know it feels terrible right now but I swear it gets better, Baekhyun. I swear.”

“When? I’m s-so fucking stuck—you said you would help—when does it get easier?”

“Hey.” Yixing’s hands grip him firmly, one on the back of his neck, one on his back. “I saw you a whole—what? Two? Three days ago? As far as I’m concerned, you’re right on track. Did you drunk dial him?”

Baekhyun pouts, a whimper in his throat. “I dialed him. I’m not drunk.”

“You’re clearly a comedian, though.” Yixing merely lifts his eyebrows to emphasize his point when Baekhyun picks his head up, pouty lips in full effect. “Even if you hadn’t already admitted to drinking nearly an entire bottle of hard liquor, you smell like you swam in one. Also, I can hardly understand you when you talk.”

“I’m speaking perfectly clear!”

“Gibberish.”

“You’re gibberish!”

Yixing’s lips quirk. “You stopped crying.”

“Ahh, why’d you point it out?” Baekhyun wipes at his face. “Now I’m just gonna start again.”

Shaking his head, Yixing uses Baekhyun’s knees to help himself stand up. “I’m going to get you some water, and we’re going to share a sandwich, okay?”

“Okay…” Baekhyun slumps back, sinking into the couch and blowing raspberries at nothing in particular. His vision is fuzzy and spinning but if he focuses _really_ hard, he can see a keyboard and computer set-up across the room from him, a guitar in the corner. His eyes lazily follow the mess of cords and the stacks of paper. _Oh right,_ he thinks, _Yixing is a music producer. He turned this into a studio._

Yixing returns in record time, at least to Baekhyun’s alcohol-addled brain, and sits next to him on the couch after carefully handing over the glass of water. And then Baekhyun’s also being handed half a sandwich, and Yixing’s hand is slipping between his back and the couch, helping him to sit back up. “Come on,” Yixing murmurs. “The faster you eat and drink this, the sooner you get to slouch over again like a bum.”

Whining under his breath, Baekhyun reluctantly takes a sip of the water, spilling a little down his chin but paying no mind to it. Then he takes a bite of the sandwich and groans. “This is the best sandwich I’ve ever had.”

“It’s only ham and cheese.” Yixing rolls his eyes. “It’s all I had. Wasn’t expecting any guests.”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun mumbles as he’s taking another bite. “Did I wake you up?”

“No.” Yixing starts nibbling on his half.

“Oh.” Then Baekhyun’s gaze falls back on the computer, and he realizes it’s on. “Were you still working?” Yixing nods, and Baekhyun thinks he looks exhausted. “‘M sorry,” he says again. “I’m being burdensome.”

“Nah,” Yixing sighs and leans back against the couch. “I needed to take a break. It’s okay.”

“I shouldn’t keep you—“ Baekhyun makes like he’s going to stand up, though he doubts he really can, but Yixing slips his hand around Baekhyun’s arm and pulls him back into place.

Yixing shrugs. “I don’t think I’ll make my deadline anyway. Like I said, I needed the break.”

Baekhyun hums, deciding to finish off his sandwich and water as quickly as he can because he’s frankly tired of holding them. When he does, he sets the empty glass on the floor next to the couch and slumps back again, turning his head to stare at Yixing’s soft, tired features through hooded eyes. “This used to be a game room.”

“Yeah?” Yixing turns his head to face him too. “Like with a pool table and stuff?”

“No. Too small.” Baekhyun points to the wall across from them. “He had it set up so that wall was... a projection screen, and—and instead of a couch here… this wall was lined with the comfiest pillows and blankets.” Baekhyun remembers too well the amount of time he spent here with Yesung. Their video game battles almost always ended in Baekhyun being fucked surrounded by floor pillows. Somehow it always felt romantic, even if a small part of him was starting to realize it wasn’t. 

He can still feel Yesung’s lips on his skin, though, the way he’d whisper how hot Baekhyun is against him like it was a praise worthy of the gods. Baekhyun’s breaths come shorter and his gaze loses focus. What if he never has that again? What if he’s all alone for the rest of his life?

Fingers snap in front of his eyes, hands grab onto his face, gentle in their handling as they force him to look at Yixing. Yixing. Yixing is here. Right. “Come back, Baekhyun. Don’t let him win.”

“Y’make it sound like ‘m possessed.” Baekhyun sniffles.

“Well,” Yixing chuckles. “That’s one way to look at it.” His thumbs stroke Baekhyun’s cheeks, catching a stray tear. “You almost looked possessed for a second there. By memories. Sorrow.”

Baekhyun shakily nods. “We spent a l-lot of time in here.”

“I see.” Yixing frowns a little. “I’d ask if you want to go somewhere else, but I’m sure the entire house has memories for you.”

“Yeah. Can I just—lay down for a second? Then I’ll—then I’ll call a cab. My head feels heavy.”

After one last stroke of his cheeks, Yixing’s hands fall away from Baekhyun’s face. “Of course.”

Yixing takes the plate and empty glass back to the kitchen, and by the time he gets back, Baekhyun is already on his side on the couch, shoes slipped off and body curled up tight. He blinks lazily at Yixing when he sits in his computer chair. “Play me something?”

“What would you like?”

“Anything.”

Yixing nods and turns to his computer, waking it and clicking around until he finds whatever file he’s looking for. Playing on its own, it’s just a simple, quiet drum beat, but then Yixing turns to his keyboard and begins playing along, a beautiful, transcendent melody.

Baekhyun blinks slowly, letting the music wash over him in decadent, sorrowful waves. “‘S beautiful,” he whispers, but Yixing doesn’t seem to hear him, and Baekhyun isn’t conscious much longer to repeat himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! hope you guys are enjoying this~ please leave kudos and comments if you are! believe it or not, they really keep me going. thank you guys  <3
> 
> (also, this part kind of goes hand-in-hand with step three, so the discussion of the step will be in the next chapter)


	3. Step Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun lets his anger out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was NOT planning to drop another chapter tonight, but the more i sat on it, the more i realized steps two and three really need to be consumed together, so here we are skljgslkg
> 
> tw: hangover-related sickness/throwing up.

**Step Three: Scream at the Top of Your Lungs**

When Baekhyun wakes the next morning, his back is stiffer than a board, and his head is pounding so hard it nearly knocks him off the couch.

“Fuck,” he whines under his breath, clutching his forehead as he curls in on himself. “Oh god, I hate myself for this.”

He squints against his surroundings—he doesn’t remember a whole lot from last night, but he’d recognize this room anywhere, even if it does look completely different.

He ran off to Yixing’s last night.

How fucking _embarrassing._

His eyes focus on the blur directly across from him, and he quickly realizes it’s Yixing himself sitting in his desk chair, slumped down, head tilted against his shoulder, passed out asleep.

A wave of nausea overcomes him and he stumbles to his feet and out the door, trying to be quiet but doubting his success. 

He at least makes it to the half-bathroom next door before upchucking everything in his system.

When he’s coming out of what he hopes is the last round, he realizes someone is rubbing his back, and he’d startle if it didn’t feel so good. He rests his forehead against the toilet seat as Yixing continues his ministrations. “Sorry,” Baekhyun croaks.

“It’s fine.” Yixing sounds more tired than anything. “I brought you some water and aspirin. If you wanna take a shower or anything I can grab some clothes too.”

“You saying I need a shower?” Baekhyun tries to joke.

“Yes,” Yixing answers, but he laughs and leans against Baekhyun, forehead just barely pressing into his back. He really is tired, Baekhyun thinks.

Baekhyun scours his memory for what happened last night, grabbing onto bits and pieces. “You were working on something last night,” he remembers, voice quiet. Yixing hums his agreement. “Did you finish?”

“Yes, actually.”

“You sound… surprised.”

“Mm.” Yixing’s thumb rubs circles against Baekhyun’s waist. “I mentioned last night that I wouldn’t make my deadline. Was having too much trouble.”

“Inspiration struck?”

Yixing hums. “I guess you could say that. You asked me to play you something before you fell asleep. So I pulled up the first layer of the track and just started playing around on the piano and… the last pieces fell into place.”

“Well I’m glad something positive came from this.” Yixing doesn’t respond, and Baekhyun frowns. “Did you fall asleep? You’re like a kitten. How am I supposed to get up now?”

“Stop babbling,” Yixing mutters with a sigh. “I was trying to figure out how to say thank you without it sounding like I wrote a song about you.”

Baekhyun laughs, then, even though he has to clutch his head to do so. “Don’t worry, Yixing. I’m not under the impression you’re falling for the kid who keeps breaking into your house.”

Yixing’s face presses more firmly against Baekhyun’s back, almost nuzzling. “You didn’t break in last night.”

“Didn’t give you much choice though, did I?”

He can feel Yixing shrug. “I guess. But honestly, if you’d called me in the state you were in I probably would’ve come and picked you up anyway.”

“A real hero.”

“Just doing what I can.”

Baekhyun giggles, but after it dies off he quietly says, “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be,” Yixing murmurs, squeezing his waist. “All of this… It feels like I’m watching a movie of my own past. Like I’m looking into a mirror. I told you, I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve done exactly this. Except I didn’t have anyone’s support or help and it just made it worse.” He sighs. “That’s why I want to help you. I know your friends are there for you, but you mentioned they don’t really seem to get it.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispers. His friends have honestly been the best friends he could ever ask for, but he does feel like he’s riding a line between consistently bugging them and consistently confusing them. It’s like they love and support him unconditionally, but after this long of his state unchanging, they don’t know why they’re still taking care of him. They’ll never stop being there for him, but that doesn’t mean they understand.

Yixing does. Yixing hasn’t known him for long, and yet knows him better than anyone in this moment. Or at least, it feels that way. “Take the medicine,” Yixing gently orders. “I’ll get you some clothes that don’t smell like you washed them in vodka. And the bathroom upstairs is the only one I have stocked with anything other than toilet paper and hand soap right now, so just use that one.”

Baekhyun nods. “Thanks.” Then when Yixing stands, he stops him. “Hey, can I use your phone? I don’t think I brought mine and I should let my roommates know I’m okay.”

“Yeah, it’s in the studio. Hold on.”

Yixing sets the phone on the sink while Baekhyun is gargling water, and then is gone again, so Baekhyun takes the aspirin, downs the rest of the water, and shoots Jongdae a _it’s baekhyun. i’m okay_ text, before jumping in the shower.

“Baekhyun,” he hears a couple of minutes later.

“Yes?”

“I’ve got the clothes here. I don’t have much food but I’ll make some eggs real quick, if that’s okay with you. You need to eat something.”

Baekhyun starts rinsing his hair. “That’s fine. Thank you, Yixing.”

“You’re welcome. I think I’ll lay down after that. So if you can’t find me, that’s where I am.”

“Okay.”

Baekhyun moves as quickly as his hangover will let him. He’d like to say another thank you to Yixing’s face before Yixing falls asleep, and before Baekhyun goes home.

But when he makes it to the kitchen, towel-drying his hair, there’s a plate of eggs on the counter and Yixing is nowhere to be seen. Sighing, Baekhyun checks Yixing’s phone in his hand, grimacing at Jongdae’s, _dude WHAT THE FUCK_ response. He types back a quick, _i’m sorry!!_ then sets the phone on the counter in favor of the food making his stomach growl in anticipation.

When he’s finished and washed his plate and had a little more water, he feels monumentally better than he did when he woke, and figures he’s overstayed his welcome, so he quietly trudges up the stairs to Yixing’s bedroom to see if he’s still awake. The door is open so he peeks his head inside, squinting in the dim light leaking through the curtains.

“Hey,” Yixing yawns. “Feeling better?” He motions with his hand like he wants Baekhyun to come inside, so Baekhyun reluctantly enters the room and sits when Yixing pats the bed.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun eventually answers, a small smile on his face. “A lot better. Thank you.” He tries not to look around. This was Yesung’s bedroom. Baekhyun spent the better part of the last year in here. He swallows.

“Don’t get foggy on me again,” Yixing says, hiding behind another yawn. 

“Hm?” Baekhyun averts his gaze to Yixing’s face. The guy’s half asleep.

“I don’t know.” Another yawn. “You just have that look. Like memories are trying to take over.”

Now Baekhyun yawns. Contagious, like Yixing’s loveliness. “Oh. Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“Take a nap,” Yixing mumbles.

Baekhyun balks. “What, with you?”

Yixing’s shrug gets trapped under the sheets. “Only bed in the house.”

“Careful, Yixing, or I might think you planned this.”

Yixing laughs. “I’ll stop being nice and see how you like it.” When Baekhyun giggles, Yixing adds, “You obviously don’t have to. I just wanted to get you through step three later. But I need some sleep first.”

Baekhyun bites his lip. The bed is big, so it’s not like Yixing is outright offering to cuddle (or _fuck),_ but Baekhyun _is_ a serial cuddler in his sleep all the same. What if he does something embarrassing? What if one of them wakes up hard or something? Baekhyun would _die._ “What was step two exactly, anyway?” he stalls.

Yixing smiles like he knows exactly what Baekhyun’s doing. “Inevitably do something else you regret.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very solid step two. It’s just step one all over again! Like, what about responsible people who have an amicable breakup? They wouldn’t do two stupid things in a row.”

“Then they wouldn’t need this plan to begin with.”

“...Touché.”

Yixing chuckles. “We’re cliches, Baekhyun. The drunken phone call always comes next. Just one if you’re lucky.”

Baekhyun’s hand brushes Yixing’s on the bed to rouse him from oncoming sleep. “You weren’t lucky?”

“No. My last relationship… he ended up blocking my number because I kept drunk dialing.” Yixing frowns. “The one before that… I called her twice and she told me she hated me.”

“Ouch.” The pain that crosses Yixing’s face prompts Baekhyun to rest his hand on top of Yixing’s and squeeze it. “I’m sorry.”

Yixing just shrugs. “Point is, delete his number and swear off alcohol until you’re past this, Baekhyun. It only makes things worse. ‘S not healthy.”

“That another step?”

“Just a smart decision.”

Baekhyun wonders if it’s a smart decision to get in bed with someone he hardly knows, but he has to keep reminding himself that there’s nothing more than napping happening between them, and if Yixing wanted to murder him, he could’ve done it much more easily last night while he was inebriated.

“Come on,” Yixing mumbles after a stretch of silence. He tugs on Baekhyun’s hand. “Nap. I won’t bite.”

“That’s what they all say,” Baekhyun whispers, but his words are meaningless when he’s already scooting further onto the bed and slipping his legs under the covers. He turns over on his stomach and hugs a pillow against his head, settling down comfortably enough to realize his body is crying in relief. _Yes!_ it seems to be saying. _Sleep!_

“‘Night, Baek…” Yixing yawns.

Baekhyun smiles softly into his pillow. “‘Night, Xing.”

 

 

This time, Baekhyun awakes to a tickle on his neck, soft, recurring, and accompanied by the weight of an arm holding him down, the pressure of a chin beginning to dig into his shoulder.

“Warmer than usual,” Baekhyun just barely mutters out, trying to angle his neck so that it doesn’t keep getting hit with his bedmate’s breath. Yesung always liked to wake him up that way, but Baekhyun wasn’t ready to get up. 

Yesung also ran cold—he always joked Baekhyun was the only reason he didn’t freeze to death—but today he was like a furnace.

Giving up on dodging, Baekhyun squirms until he’s turned on his side and nestling his head beneath his bedmate’s chin, who welcomes him happily, humming and slipping a hand beneath Baekhyun’s shirt to lazily rub his back.

It’s Baekhyun mindlessly kissing the chest in front of him as he starts to fall back asleep that suddenly has them both freezing, reality crashing down on their shoulders at seemingly the same time as they snap awake.

_Yixing! Not Yesung!_

They both pull back from one another, a respectable amount of space between them and Yixing’s hand _not_ finding a home inside Baekhyun’s clothing anymore.

“Oh god,” Baekhyun rasps, covering his face. “I’m sorry. I was dreaming. This house fuckin’... trips me out. I thought…”

“It’s okay.” Yixing clears the grit from his throat. “I’m not really sure if I was dreaming or just going with the flow, honestly.”

Baekhyun rolls onto his stomach and buries his face in the pillow. “Felt nice,” he mutters, muffled. Sometimes he feels like he needs affection to breathe, and while his friends always accept that, there’s just nothing quite like cuddling in bed when you’re barely awake, nothing quite as warm.

“Yeah,” Yixing quietly agrees, sighing. “I miss it more than I thought.”

Baekhyun nods, but doesn’t respond. Is it weird that he wants to do it again? That he wants to crawl back into Yixing’s arms for the sake of feeling that specific way again?

He’s on the verge of sleep again when Yixing sleepily murmurs, “No harm in cuddling.”

The second a reluctant hand rests on Baekhyun’s back, Baekhyun caves, dragging himself from his pillow to Yixing’s and burrowing under Yixing’s chin the way he had before, breathing him in and fighting off a shiver as Yixing runs his warm hand up Baekhyun’s back again, beneath his shirt. “No harm in cuddling,” Baekhyun whispers his belated agreement.

“We’ll just sleep a little longer…”

Baekhyun hums, but he’s already drifting off.

 

 

A little longer turns into them not waking back up until evening, legs tangled and Baekhyun’s head on Yixing’s chest, sheets at their feet and fingers entwined.

 _Wow,_ Baekhyun groggily thinks. _Unconscious us really went all out, huh?_

He picks his head up and eases his hand from Yixing’s and uses it to tap his chest. “Yixing. Up. I think we slept all day.”

Yixing whines, using his arms to cage Baekhyun in and pull him back down, making Baekhyun laugh.

“Wake up, grumpy.”

“Sleep.”

“Uh-uh, buddy. It’s—“ He looks around for any sign of the time, and gasps when he sees the alarm clock on the bedside table. “It’s five!”

Yixing groans, unleashing Baekhyun from his confines. “Fuck.”

“I missed class,” Baekhyun says with a wry smile, sitting up and running his hands through his hair. It’s messy. The consequence of going to sleep with it wet.

Yixing cracks a grin when Baekhyun peeks at him. “I missed a phone meeting with the label. I can’t even be mad though.”

Baekhyun huffs, amused. “I haven’t slept that well in… a while.”

“Ditto.”

“So that’s… the second positive thing to come from me crashing onto your doorstep?” Baekhyun sighs. “I guess I’m not all bad.”

“No.” Yixing shakes his head, a small smile on his lips, fingers playing with the shirt on Baekhyun’s back. “You’re not all bad.”

Baekhyun feels his cheeks heat up, a shy giggle bubbling up in his throat as he asks, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t know.” Yixing shrugs, undeterred. “I guess it’s just been a really long time since I’ve actually enjoyed cuddling.”

“Really?” Baekhyun laughs. “I’m like, addicted to it. My friends say I’m a serial cuddler, and they’re my victims.”

Yixing snorts. “Cute.”

“Careful or you’ll be next,” Baekhyun teases, hiding his face against his arm. He can’t stop blushing. It feels like Yixing put a spell on him in his sleep.

Chuckling, Yixing sits up and pats Baekhyun’s knee. “I don’t think that’d be the worst thing that could happen to me. But,” he sighs. “We should get up. Step three awaits.”

Baekhyun can’t help but frown. “It feels weird. I mean, I don’t feel bad right now, so it feels like…”

“Like you don’t need a step three. I know. I’ve been there.” Yixing squeezes Baekhyun’s shoulder. “This one is just about letting out pent up anger. There’s a trail in the woods behind the house—“

“What? Really?”

“Yeah. It leads to a sort of lookout cliff. It apparently used to be a popular attraction before they turned this into a neighborhood. It’s a little overgrown with greenery now, but it’s still beautiful. You didn’t know?”

“No… Yesung must not have known about it…”

Yixing hesitates. “His parents are the ones who told me it was there.”

And for some reason, that hurts. It sounds exactly like something Baekhyun would’ve enjoyed seeing, somewhere he and Yesung could’ve had for themselves, but clearly, Yesung didn’t want to share that with him. He didn’t care.

Just like that, a familiar wave of hurt washes over him. Did he mean anything to Yesung? Ever?

A gentle hand rests on his cheek. “Come on,” Yixing murmurs. “Go get your shoes.”

 

 

“You know…” Baekhyun steps over a fallen branch. “If this was a movie, you’d be leading me out here to kill me. Or—“ _Or to fuck me,_ he almost says, but thinks better of it. No need to alarm Yixing after they’ve just spent the day cuddling in their sleep.

Yixing laughs and holds a branch out of the way for Baekhyun to walk under. “I think we’re both very trusting here. Maybe too trusting, but… we seem to be doing okay, no?” 

Just as he turns around to gauge Baekhyun’s reaction, Baekhyun’s shoe gets caught on a tree root and he all but faceplants against Yixing’s chest, who catches him with ease and a little surprised _”Oh.”_

“Sorry,” Baekhyun mumbles, all too aware of Yixing’s hands tightly gripping his waist. “I…” he trails off when he stands back up straight and looks Yixing in the eyes, because their faces are only a couple of inches apart and he can feel Yixing’s breath on his lips.

“You testing me?” Yixing teases, unphased except for maybe the way he swallows, gulps. “Here I am talking about trust and you go falling over like that.” He clicks his tongue while Baekhyun’s entire body heats up.

He takes a steadying breath, letting a smile grow on his face. He used to be good at this; he wants to be good at this again. “Guess I needed to know if you’ll catch me.”

There it is. The quick glance down at Baekhyun’s lips, quick enough to pretend it didn’t happen, but it’s there, and the thrill sends a chill crawling up his spine. Before Yesung, Baekhyun lived for this, for flirting and making boys blush and want to kiss him, even if only for one moment.

“I think you can count on that,” Yixing murmurs.

 

 

When they break free of the overgrown path a few minutes later, Baekhyun’s jaw drops, and only Yixing’s gentle hand on his lower back presses him forward into the clearing, closer to the cliff that overlooks a pond.

It’s not that the clearing is overly beautiful in any way; the trees and grass are overgrown, the wildflowers are excessive, and what was once a concrete slab probably meant for picnics (and other things) is now just broken up rock, but the fact that it’s here, with a breathtaking view like it has, is enough for Baekhyun. This place has been here this whole time, and he never knew.

He carries himself toward the edge of the cliff, wary not to look straight down and instead focus on the gentle breeze and the pond beneath him as he sits down. Yixing joins him, pressing their thighs together. “It’s beautiful, right?” he quietly asks.

“It is.” Baekhyun takes a slow, deep breath. “What is step three, Yixing?”

“Scream.”

At that, the ambiance is broken, and Baekhyun nearly falls over with laughter. “Okay, now I really do think you’re going to murder me up here.”

“What?! Baekhyun!”

Cackles ease into giggles, and when Baekhyun forces himself to sit back up, he’s somehow closer to Yixing than he was before. “Explain,” he hiccups.

Yixing rolls his eyes. “Let the anger out. This is… This is the step where you can start to take control. Do you know how big of a stress reliever it is to just… scream at the top of your lungs?”

“I could’ve screamed into a pillow or something.”

“Sure. But this clearing is right here.” Yixing thumps Baekhyun’s knee with his finger. “Don’t question my tactics. I’m the expert, remember? Just let it out, criminal.”

Baekhyun grimaces, almost cowering into himself. “Just… scream? Right now?”

Yixing nods in encouragement.

“Um…” Baekhyun stares past Yixing’s face. “Ahhh…?”

“Baekhyun,” Yixing groans. “Come on.”

After a moment of clear hesitation, Baekhyun lets out a louder shout, but it’s still half-hearted, half-assed. He side-eyes Yixing a little nervously; it’s embarrassing sitting like this, randomly screaming into the void while he just watches. 

“He hurt you.”

Baekhyun snaps to attention, gaze fully on Yixing’s face now, eyes wide. “Yixing—“

“He took your heart, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it. You’ve let him win up until now, Baekhyun. Get angry and let it out.”

“But—“

“He moved out of his house mere days after breaking up with you and didn’t even tell you. He took your sweatshirt. He wasted a year or more of your life making you fall for him. He made you feel like an idiot—“

Baekhyun’s eyes burn with the threat of tears, his skin tingles with the swell of anger. “Stop!”

“He broke you. He left you alone to pick up the pieces—“

The only way Baekhyun can think to block Yixing’s words from reaching him is to _scream._

Birds rustle through the trees around them and fly away. Baekhyun wants them to represent his feelings for Yesung, or at the very least, his unhappiness in how things ended. He wants his sorrow to fly away, far away from him and his friends and even Yixing.

He knows, in the back of his mind, that this was exactly Yixing’s intention, that otherwise, Yixing knows better than to purposely make Baekhyun feel like shit by reminding him that he was a piece of trash Yesung was so easily able to throw away. 

He knows, by the time his throat is irritated and begging for relief despite how good it feels for his emotions to pour from him like the most powerful waterfall, he knows that Yixing is only pushing him to help him, that despite not knowing each other for long, Yixing only has Baekhyun’s best interest at heart. 

When his scream into the void peters out, his fingers press against his throat as if that will help ease the itchiness, and his eyes meet Yixing’s. The hope that lies there gives Baekhyun hope, and the small smile cradling a dimple on Yixing’s cheek incites a feeling of warmth Baekhyun knows he should cherish. 

Maybe his heartbreak didn’t fly away with the birds, but he thinks they may have carried a piece of it with them when they left, and it’s a start.

Baekhyun feels his lips pulling to match Yixing’s smile, and before he can think better of it, he faces forward again, and unleashes another long shout.

This time Yixing joins him, and somewhere in the midst of letting go of whatever negative feelings were holding him today, Baekhyun’s scream morphs into a bold, _“FUCK YOU, YESUNG!”_ which makes their matching shouts melt into laughter that has them leaning against each other for support.

And for the first time since all of this started, Baekhyun cries tears of happiness.

 

 

Sometime later, when the sun is setting and Baekhyun’s head is resting in Yixing’s lap, Baekhyun sighs at the feeling of Yixing’s fingers combing through his hair, and his gentle voice reaching his ear.

“You’re so much better than him, Baekhyun. I don’t have to know him to know that.”

“Bold words for someone who barely even knows me.”

Yixing’s nails comfortingly scratch at Baekhyun’s scalp. “I know you plenty.”

Baekhyun turns onto his back to peer at Yixing instead, and does his best not to preen when Yixing’s fingers move to caress his face instead. “You haven’t seen me without the sadness. Not really.”

“I’ve seen glimpses. Loud laugh, affectionate.”

Baekhyun hums with a small smile. “Yeah. I’m usually loud in general. Happy. Talkative. I’m also _hilarious.”_

“Is that so?”

“Your ass will fall off, guaranteed.”

“Challenge accepted. I don’t have an ass.”

Baekhyun’s laugh echoes across the lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls let me know what u think in the comments uwu


	4. Step Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun learns that it's time to let go.

**Step Four: Cleanse**

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun whines as he attaches himself to his friend’s back.

Jongdae drops the coupon paper for discount pizza onto the counter in front of him, startled. “Jesus, Baek, warn a guy!”

“Since when do I have to warn you of my affection?!” Baekhyun leans as far to the side as he can only to show Jongdae his pout.

“Since—well.” Jongdae sighs. “It’s just been a while since you’ve sneak-attacked any of us, I guess.”

“I’m going to ignore that so it doesn’t make me sad.” Baekhyun huffs, moving aside and wrapping an arm around Jongdae instead, resting his cheek on Jongdae’s shoulder. “Get the pineapple one.”

“Gross!”

Baekhyun shrugs. “It’s Yixing’s favorite. ‘S not bad. Just make sure to get the actual good ones too.” Baekhyun pokes at the coupon for a twenty-percent discount on a _Meat-o-Mania_ pie. “Hey, is Kyungsoo still mad at me?”

“Yes,” comes the firm answer from behind them, but Kyungsoo’s expression dramatically softens when Baekhyun whips around with a smile.

“Soo baby!” Baekhyun launches for him, and Kyungsoo just barely opens his arms in time to catch him with a grunt. Baekhyun smacks a loud kiss on his cheek. “Hi. Please don’t be mad at me anymore. I will never go on a solo drunken adventure again. I promise.”

Kyungsoo wipes his cheek. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, asshole. How many times do I have to tell you how worried we all were?”

“I _know,”_ Baekhyun whines. “And how many times do I have to say how sorry I am? Yixing took good care of me. I didn’t die.”

Kyungsoo just sighs. “Is he still coming over?”

“Of course. It’s cleansing day.”

“Whatever that means,” Jongdae says from across the kitchen, snorting.

Baekhyun frowns. “He’s helping me. Don’t be a dick.”

“I’m not!” Jongdae insists. “I just think it’s weird that he’s so into helping you get over your heartbreak or whatever after we broke into his fucking house!”

“He understands—“

“Are you sure it’s not some weird revenge plot?” Kyungsoo asks.

Baekhyun turns to gape at him, arms loosening from around Kyungsoo’s waist. “What would the revenge even be? Make me fall for him and then dump me like Yesung did?”

Silence.

“You guys are ridiculous!” Baekhyun laughs, though there’s a sour tone to it. “Stop trying to make me paranoid when he’ll be here in a couple of hours. He understands what I’m going through, is all. He’s helped a lot.”

At that, Kyungsoo brushes some of the hair from Baekhyun’s forehead, a tiny smile on his lips. “You know what? I can tell. You’re in a really good mood today. I’m just worried about you, is all. How you’re feeling with everything.”

Baekhyun beams, carefully avoiding Kyungsoo’s insinuations as he falls right back into his embrace. “I _feel_ really good today. I’m okay, Soo.” He giggles when Kyungsoo pinches his cheek.

“Good.” They break away from each other before Kyungsoo starts to say, “Oh, just a heads up—“

But the front door opens, interrupting him, and Baekhyun sees what, or who, Kyungsoo was about to warn him of. But Baekhyun smiles. “Hi, Chanyeollie,” he greets. He does feel a little embarrassed that just a few days ago the sight of Chanyeol made him break down. 

Chanyeol startles, looking at Kyungsoo with wide eyes for a moment as they approach each other. Baekhyun looks away as they kiss and when he glances back, Chanyeol is smiling softly at him. “Hey, Baekhyunnie.”

Baekhyun can feel everyone’s eyes on him, waiting for his reaction past a simple greeting, and the realization really hits him this time that he’s been a little ridiculous. Chanyeol isn’t Yesung. Chanyeol even defended Baekhyun against Yesung. He doesn’t deserve Baekhyun treating him like the latest plague.

Shyly, Baekhyun steps forward and grasps Chanyeol’s arm to lead him back into the living room. “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Chanyeol says, letting Baekhyun drag him. When they’re facing each other by the front door, he starts to say, “I’m so s—”

But Baekhyun beats him. “I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol balks. “Why are you sorry?!”

“Because you deserve better. Because Kyungsoo told me you punched Yesung. And that the other night when he… made that comment… that you blocked him and asked Soo if you guys could come check on me.” Against his will, Baekhyun’s eyes start to burn. He scrunches his nose to try relieving them. “You’ve been looking out for me so completely, when you could’ve easily taken your best friend’s side, and I treated you like dirt for no good reason.”

“Hey.” Chanyeol sighs, hands landing on Baekhyun’s shoulders, radiating warmth. “We met through Yesung. We were kind of a package deal. I get that you associate me with him. You don’t have to apologize.”

“I do.” Baekhyun pouts. “Please accept it.”

Chanyeol chuckles, then. “Only if you’ll accept that you’re also one of my best friends. Just so you know.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun’s voice comes out softer than he means it to. “I didn’t—you’re one of mine, too, Yeollie.”

“Good.” Chanyeol’s pleased smile is brighter than the sun. “Because even if you didn’t, or I didn’t, I’m dating your lifelong best friend now and I’d want us to be, you know?”

Baekhyun stands on his tiptoes and throws his arms around Chanyeol’s neck, hugging him tight. “Me too. I’m sorry. And thank you for looking out for me.”

Chanyeol squeezes his waist. “Of course, Baek.”

When Baekhyun finally pulls back, he pokes Chanyeol’s chest. “Now you need to look after Soo. ‘Cause if you don’t, I’ll have to kill you.” He giggles when Chanyeol covers his face to hide his flushed cheeks.

“I promise.”

 

 

Baekhyun doesn’t _mean_ to get himself into a disastrous mess, really, but he can tell that’s exactly what he’s done when Yixing shows up in his room two hours later.

Baekhyun falls to his butt on the ground with an innocent grin. “Help me build shelf,” he says in a cutesie, baby voice, pouting at Yixing as he casts a bewildered gaze around the room.

“What the hell happened in here?”

“Uhhhh.” Baekhyun scratches his head. “You said cleanse. Once I started pulling things out I suddenly felt like I… needed to change things up, I don’t know.” He chuckles. “The guys took me around the corner to buy a new bookshelf and yeah. Here I am.”

“Yeah, there you are, on a lone island far, far away.” Yixing lifts a foot and tries to find a place to take a step while Baekhyun laughs. “You could’ve at least left a path for me to get to you.”

Carefully climbing to his feet, Baekhyun leans forward and holds his hands out. “Where’s the heroics in that? You have to work for your _I saved the dumbass in distress from himself_ game badge.” Yixing leans in, grabbing onto Baekhyun’s hands as he snorts. “You can step on that pile of papers there.”

Yixing does, and sees a small spot where the floor is actually visible, so he steps there next. “This is ridiculous. If I die, I’m haunting you.”

“You’d be the handsomest ghost. Also, no one said you had to come over here to my circle of serenity.”

“Circle of serenity,” Yixing deadpans. “Anyway, you’re a—” He makes the last hop across a pile of action figures, and almost immediately loses his footing inside Baekhyun’s _circle of serenity._

Yixing grabs onto the only thing he can, which is Baekhyun, of course, but to Baekhyun’s credit, he does manage to keep them from falling to their stepped-on-a-lego-worthy death, latching onto him when their bodies crash together and pressing forward against him, like he’s trying to offset their imbalance. 

By the time they’re certain they won’t fall, they’re hanging onto each other for dear life, near tears from how hard they’re laughing. “We’ve gotta stop meeting like this,” Baekhyun wheezes.

“It’s your fault!” Yixing exclaims through his cackling. Baekhyun’s never seen or heard him laugh so loud and openly like this. It’s nice. “You tripped last time, and this time you surrounded yourself in literal chaos—“

“Hey, I caught you!” Baekhyun untangles himself, still giggling. “I guess that makes me the hero this time.”

“Can you be the hero if you’re the reason I almost died?”

“Shut up!” Baekhyun croaks, slapping Yixing’s arm. “See if I save you next time!”

Their laughter finally dies out, but they’re still close, still clinging. 

Baekhyun clears his throat. “What were you gonna say? I’m a what?”

“A wizard.”

Baekhyun breaks down laughing all over again, forehead thumping Yixing’s shoulder and hands clenching Yixing’s t-shirt. He can feel Yixing’s laughter too, the way his body shakes against him. “Dumbass.”

“Yeah,” Yixing easily agrees. “I was going to say, you’re a hugger.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun doesn’t know why that observation surprises him, but he can’t say he isn’t pleased. “Yeah. So you risked your life just to come hug me?” The slide of Baekhyun’s arms around Yixing’s waist is natural, and his whole body warms up when Yixing’s hands graze along his back soothingly.

“Well yeah,” Yixing almost scoffs. “Won’t you like, die without affection or something?”

Baekhyun playfully shoves at him but they fall right back into place, laughter taking over again. “Not in this lifetime,” Baekhyun answers. “Feels like it sometimes though. Thanks.”

Yixing hums. “‘S not like it’s the worst thing in the world, y’know?”

“You saying you like my cuddles?” Baekhyun asks, cheeky as they pull away from each other. 

There’s not much room for them to move, however, so Yixing holds onto Baekhyun’s arms and winks, their faces mere inches away. “Just how much of an asshole would I sound like if I said I’d love to have you in my bed again?”

Baekhyun bursts out laughing, pinching Yixing’s stomach. “Like a high-level fuckboy.”

“That’s fair.” Yixing chuckles. “You know what I mean though.”

Baekhyun scrunches his nose to keep from smiling too wide. “Yeah. I’ve always slept better with someone else in the bed. Guess you’re the same way.”

“Guess so.” Yixing hesitates. “Thanks again for the other night, by the way. You really saved me.”

Two nights ago, two nights after Baekhyun showed up drunk on Yixing’s doorstep; they’d been texting while Baekhyun was suffering through a slow night at work, and Yixing mentioned that he was struggling to stay up for another important deadline. It was a simple fix in Baekhyun’s mind. _Do you want me to bring you coffee in an hour?_ he’d asked. _You’re on my way home, y’know._

Yixing had responded with a noncommittal _sure_ but Baekhyun was suddenly filled with this need to pay Yixing back somehow, or to start to, at the very least. He made coffees in the biggest cups the shop offered, and packed a few pastries as well before changing back into his school clothes and driving to Yixing’s.

His intent, like his fix, was simple. 1) Bring Yixing coffee and treats. 2) Maybe stay long enough to drink with him, to give him a real break from working. 3) Go home and play video games until he fell asleep.

Only when he let himself in, per Yixing’s request, Yixing wasn’t in his studio, but in bed, propped against his headboard with his laptop on his lap and headphones over his ears. He barely glanced up but patted the bed next to him for Baekhyun to sit, only truly acknowledging him once he’d settled down and held one of the cups out for Yixing to take.

 _Heys_ were exchanged, quiet chatter about Baekhyun’s day and Yixing’s new song as they shared one of the muffins Baekhyun brought. The more comfortable Baekhyun made himself, the more he was setting himself up to stay longer than he meant, but then Yixing was asking him to listen to the almost finished final mix and Baekhyun was offering suggestions and resting his head on Yixing’s shoulder as he got back to work, and by then, going home didn’t quite seem necessary.

And when Yixing finally closed his laptop—the click jolting Baekhyun from an almost-sleep—and set it on his bedside table, it quickly became clear Yixing didn’t think Baekhyun going home was necessary either, because then he was switching his lamp off and letting the moonlight be their guide as they rearranged their sleepy bodies without a word, no hesitation as they shared a pillow and Yixing threw his arm over Baekhyun’s waist. 

They both fell asleep too quickly to ask any questions.

Baekhyun smiles, cheeks a little warm as he focuses on the present. “Anything I can do to help, Yixing.”

Yixing sighs. “That’s twice now. That you’ve helped me finish a song. We keep this up and I’ll have to start paying you.”

Giggling, Baekhyun pats Yixing’s cheek. “This isn’t a one-way street. We can help each other, can’t we?”

“Of course we c—“

“GUYS,” Jongdae yells as he staggers into the doorway. “Pizza’s here…” He trails off when he sees Baekhyun and Yixing. 

Yixing and Baekhyun and… whatever they’re doing.

His gaze meets Baekhyun’s and the latter can smell the curiosity from where he stands. “Thanks, Dae. We’ll…”

Baekhyun and Yixing both look at the chaotic mess between them and the door, then at each other. Their simultaneous groans meld into another round of laughter. 

“We’ll be there eventually, Jongdae,” Baekhyun tries again. “We have to clear a path first.”

Jongdae only narrows his eyes before walking away, and Baekhyun and Yixing chuckle the entire time they rearrange Baekhyun’s belongings.

 

 

 

They’re sitting on the living room floor, shoulder to shoulder, mouths full of pizza, when Jongdae clears his throat.

“So, Yixing,” he says. His tone is weirdly deep and official, enough so to make Baekhyun freeze. “What are your intentions with our best friend?”

 _”Jongdae!”_ Baekhyun screeches, throwing glares at Kyungsoo and Chanyeol when they start snickering. He leans forward to ball up a napkin and throw it at Jongdae’s head. “Get out!” But when he falls back to his butt with a pout, he finds Yixing laughing next to him.

“I live here!” Jongdae whines.

Baekhyun throws a pillow next. “Then just stop talking!” he cackles.

“I was just messing around!”

When the raucous peters out, Yixing clears his throat. “Baekhyun and I… we’re really similar. I’ve been through a couple of breakups that really hurt. When I ran into him at the farmers market, I knew I wanted to help him. That’s it. Nothing weird.”

“That’s… fair,” Kyungsoo offers, but Baekhyun scoffs.

“That’s exactly what I’ve been telling you guys!”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “It’s different coming from him.”

“Unbelievable!”

Jongdae laughs. “Okay, but seriously, hurt him and you die.”

_”Jongdae!”_

Yixing presses a little closer to Baekhyun as he laughs, subtle enough that no one else seems to notice but Baekhyun, whose entire arm tingles. “I promise,” Yixing says. “I’ll protect him.”

Baekhyun suddenly locks eyes with Chanyeol, the familiarity of the conversation not lost on either of them. Chanyeol raises his brow, a silent question.

Baekhyun looks away and doesn’t answer.

 

 

“You know,” Yixing mutters, all but piled under a stack of comics. “I signed up for getting rid of the asshole’s stuff, not completely renovating your room.”

“Shut up. It’s not like we’re repainting! Although—”

“No.”

“But—”

“Baekhyun!” Yixing laughs. “We’re going to be here all night as it is. Don’t pout at me! That might work!”

Baekhyun giggles and pulls a stack of photos from a box. “Oh,” he whispers when he sees what they are.

Yixing immediately crawls over to him. “What is it?”

“It’s… the photos from my 19th birthday.” Baekhyun half-heartedly waves them in Yixing’s direction to show him, then starts shuffling through them. “The night Yesung and I hooked up for the first time.” He blinks at a photo of them on the couch, drinks in hand and laughing at who-knows-what, leaned into each other as if there wasn’t ample space on either side of them.

Yixing hums, resting his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “He looks like an asshole, confirmed.”

A laugh unexpectedly bursts from Baekhyun’s chest. “Yixing!”

“I call ‘em as I see ‘em, Baekhyun.”

Chuckling, Baekhyun keeps flipping through the pictures. There’s some of Jongdae, Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol, Jongdae’s ex-girlfriend, Jongdae’s ex-boyfriend, and then he gets to another of him and Yesung, still on the same couch, still closer than ever necessary, only this time Yesung’s lips are under Baekhyun’s ear. It almost looks like he’s whispering, but Baekhyun can still feel the way his lips had sucked at the skin there, the way his tongue flicked. Baekhyun remembers moaning right after the picture was taken. Kyungsoo had walked away with the camera as quickly as possible.

A shiver runs down Baekhyun’s spine, and it doesn’t feel right matched with the burning in his eyes. He doesn’t fully realize Yixing is watching him closely; he’s too concerned with trying not to break down over a stupid picture, but then gentle fingers caress Baekhyun’s cheek, wiping away stray tears and Baekhyun turns his head to look at him. Yixing doesn’t move from his shoulder, only far enough back so they can see each other.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Yixing murmurs, still stroking Baekhyun’s cheek. “You need to take the blinders off and see how much of a douchebag he looks in all of these pictures.”

“I don’t care how it looks. He cared about me. Before we got together he cared about me. We were friends. Why did that change?”

“Were you blindsided?” Yixing asks.

“Wh-What?”

“When he broke up with you, it shocked you, didn’t it?”

“Of course it did—“

“You had _no_ idea he was unhappy with you?”

“...N-No…”

Yixing sighs. “Look. People change, feelings change. But this guy… His excuse was shit, his timing was shit, and he didn’t even try talking to you about why he was possibly unhappy. To me, that says he didn’t care. So why do you?”

Baekhyun closes his eyes before his forehead lands against Yixing’s. He doesn’t know. Baekhyun has no idea why he still cares so fucking much when Yesung clearly doesn’t care at all. Even when you take away the fact they were a couple, lovers, whatever, they were friends first, and Yesung cut all of it off without a bat of his eyelashes. He turned around and walked out of Baekhyun’s life like their friendship held as little meaning as their relationship. Less, even.

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything, doesn’t trust his voice; he only separates himself from Yixing to move right back in, slipping his arms around Yixing’s middle and tucking his chin against Yixing’s neck as more tears fall down his cheeks. Yixing hugs him back with ease, muttering, “You’re gonna be okay, Baek,” just as Baekhyun realizes Kyungsoo is watching them from the doorway.

He smiles sadly at Baekhyun, and draws a heart on his chest with his finger. _I love you._ It’s something they used to do all the time, back when they were kids and thought they were clever enough to come up with their own language. It makes Baekhyun’s tears fall faster, but it’s not all sadness provoking them anymore. He releases a shaky breath. _”I love you, too,”_ he mouths back.

Kyungsoo nods and leaves them be as Yixing asks, “What?”

Baekhyun tucks his face into the crook of Yixing’s neck. “Thank you,” he amends.

“You don’t have to thank me, felon.”

Baekhyun tackles Yixing to the ground, cackling all the while.

 

 

“You don’t have as many things as I thought you would,” Yixing says sometime later, observing the small pile between them. “Yesung-related things, I mean.”

“I still have to go through my closet,” Baekhyun mutters, staring at the cheesy, silver pin in his hand that reads _best boyfriend ever_ in bubble letters. “I guess he didn’t come over here that often.”

“Always expected you to go to his place?”

Baekhyun frowns, looking up at Yixing’s expectant eyebrows. “I have roommates. He didn’t.”

“Mm-hm.”

“He could breathe and you’d call him a douchebag.”

Yixing shrugs. “Shouldn’t hog the air supply.”

Baekhyun can’t stop his soft laughter, and reaches over to playfully shove at Yixing’s face. “I’m gonna go through the closet now.” He giggles and jerks his hand back when Yixing acts as if he’ll bite it.

Baekhyun jumps up and slides his closet door open, glancing back at Yixing to see him settling back against the bed and stretching his legs out in front of him. He offers an encouraging thumbs up. “Go on,” he murmurs.

From the bottom of the closet, Baekhyun manages to pull a glow-in-the-dark, braided bracelet from a music festival, and a pair of ugly sandals, both belonging to Yesung.

“He left shoes here?” Yixing questions. “Did he go home barefoot?”

Baekhyun snorts. “Yeah. He was drunk.”

When those things are added to the pile, Baekhyun focuses on the clothes hanging, shuffling through his t-shirts, tanks, hoodies. “Oh no,” he blurts, covering his mouth the stifle his oncoming laughter.

“What?”

“Nothing!”

Yixing snorts, climbing to his feet and moving to Baekhyun’s side, too curious to leave it alone. “What is it? What’s special about this sweatshirt?” He points to the blue sweatshirt Baekhyun hasn’t let go of yet.

All Baekhyun can do is face him with an innocent grin.

“Baekhyun Byun, is this the sweatshirt you broke into my house to steal back?”

Baekhyun purses his lips. “Uh… oops?”

“Baekhyun!”

“I thought he had it! The last time I remember wearing it was over there!”

Yixing hooks his arm around the back of Baekhyun’s neck and pulls him close, pretending to put him in a chokehold and making him laugh. “You committed a crime for no reason!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Baekhyun shrieks. “I’m the scum of the Earth!” Yixing’s fingers find their way under Baekhyun’s arm, insistent in tickling him. “No! No!” Baekhyun collapses in Yixing’s grasp, bringing them both to the ground in a pile of tangled limbs, laughing so hard, tears are spilling from their eyes.

Yixing relents after a short moment, rolling onto his back and still shaking with amusement. He tilts his head until it’s pressed against Baekhyun’s. “I can’t believe you’ve had the sweatshirt this whole time.”

“Me neither! That was supposed to be my revenge. Steal my sweatshirt back. Useless!” After another round of giggles, silence rests between them. “We never would’ve met,” Baekhyun murmurs. “I never would’ve met you.”

“Sure you would’ve.” Their fingers tangle between them, wrestling, grasping, settling comfortably. “The farmers market.”

“You would’ve spoken to me if you hadn’t recognized me?” Baekhyun turns his head to look at Yixing, who mirrors him and nods.

“Probably. I guess we’ll never know for sure or anything, but you don’t realize how devastated you looked. I would’ve recognized that look even if I hadn’t already known the reason behind it.”

Baekhyun looks back up at the ceiling. “Yixing Zhang, my hero.”

 

 

They accidentally doze off as their silence stretches on after that, right there on the floor, victims to exhaustion and thoughtfulness, and it’s Jongdae who finds them and stomps around until they stir, Baekhyun picking his head up from Yixing’s chest and incoherently grunting at Jongdae to go away.

“This is how you treat someone who is offering you a choice of popcorn or ice cream? My treat?”

“I bought the popcorn and ice cream,” Baekhyun mumbles, trying to burrow beneath Yixing’s arm. “That makes it my treat.”

“But I was going to be nice and make you guys some—Baekhyun, what the fuck are you doing?”

Baekhyun whines. “Trying to get away from you!”

“Come on,” Yixing rasps, patting Baekhyun’s hand and sitting up, attempting to pull him with him. “We can have ice cream while we burn this pile of junk.”

“It’s not junk.” Baekhyun frowns, letting Yixing force him to sit up but gaze focused on the floor.

Yixing sighs, grasping Baekhyun’s hand in his. “Come back, Baekhyun.”

“It’s junk,” Jongdae agrees. “Junk from the Asshole of the Year Award recipient.”

“Which year?” Baekhyun asks, absent-minded, averting his gaze to his best friend.

Jongdae throws his hands up, the picture of bewilderment. “All of them?! Dude.”

Sighing loudly, Baekhyun drops his head to Yixing’s shoulder, curling in on himself and wrapping his arms around Yixing’s waist.

“Ah, he’s always clingy like that when he wakes up,” Jongdae says, almost as if he’s apologizing.

“I kn—“ Yixing clears his throat. “Yeah, I see that.”

“Yixing knows I’m clingy. Now leave and let me wake up in peace, Kim Jongdae.” Baekhyun pauses. “Also, I want ice cream.”

 _”Tch._ See if I do anything for you!” Jongdae shouts as he leaves the room, but he’s back within fifteen seconds, voice resigned as he asks, “Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry?”

Baekhyun giggles into Yixing’s neck. “All three.”

“Chocolate,” Yixing quietly adds for himself. “Thank you.”

“At least Yixing thanks me!”

Baekhyun waves him off, only peeling his eyes open when he hears his bedroom door close. “Yixing,” he whispers.

“Hmm?”

“I feel… kinda queasy.”

“Nervous?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “I think I'm scared? I’m…” He yawns and nuzzles his nose against Yixing’s collar bone. “I’m burning every single thing that reminds me of him. That’s terrifying. Those are—are things I can’t hold onto anymore, m-memories that I’ll never be able to look back on ever again after tonight—“

“Baekhyun, these aren’t even—“ Yixing sighs, bringing a hand up to blindly cup Baekhyun’s face, thumb rubbing soothing lines into his cheek. “Never mind. I’m not going to invalidate memories that are important to you. But you have to see that the entire point of this step is to get rid of the things you’re holding onto. Literally, how else are you supposed to let go?”

The exhaustion weighing on Baekhyun’s shoulders merely morphs into this problem of his, of being unable to let go. He inhales deeply and sighs, watching his own fingers stroke up and down the length of Yixing’s forearm. “It’s just… I feel like I’m lying to myself like, _Yah! Burn all his shit! I’m over it!_ But I can’t be over it because it still fucking hurts.”

“I know.” Yixing gently starts rocking them. “I know. But I genuinely think you need to do this. You don’t have to, obviously, but I think it’s for the best. I mean…” Yixing hesitates. “Baek, a picture of him trying to suck your brain out through your skin made you cry—“ Baekhyun whines into Yixing’s skin. “None of those photos were romantic, is all I’m saying. I get that the night was important to you, but you need to realize that there’s better out there, and that you deserve better in general.”

With a resolute huff, Baekhyun tears himself away from Yixing to stand up, only holding onto his hand until they’re too far away from each other to touch, as Baekhyun grabs the box Yixing brought over and sets it in the middle of the floor. Yixing is right; there’s nothing truly romantic about the night he and Yesung hooked up. They were drunk and it was sloppy and their first kiss was all tongue and no finesse. It’s everything Baekhyun would normally hate about budding relationships. He wants warmth, soft, caring kisses, he wants to be caressed and held like he matters. He wants to be _told_ he matters. He wants passion and heat that carries itself, that’s generated because two people want each other so badly, not something that burns only because they shared an entire bottle of tequila. Only because the next morning one just assumed they were together now and the other just played along. For an entire year.

The first thing Baekhyun grabs is the sweatshirt still hanging in his closet. He balls it up and chunks it into the empty box.

“Baek—“

“It all has to go, right?” Baekhyun’s voice trembles and he keeps his back turned to Yixing so he can get his emotions under control. He doesn’t want to see whatever face Yixing is making right now.

But he isn’t given a choice when Yixing jumps up and hurries over to him, spinning him around to look him in his watery eyes. “Did I say something bad? I’m sorry. I’m just trying to help—“

Baekhyun shakes his head. “It’s not you. I’m just… starting to realize you’re right. About all of it.”

“You like that sweatshirt enough to—“

“Break into a house for it? Yeah. But if I’m doing this, I’m doing it right.”

They stare at each other for a long moment, Yixing’s hands squeezing Baekhyun’s shoulders, Baekhyun’s fingers pinching Yixing’s shirt. Yixing nods. “Okay. Let’s burn this shit.”

A shaky grin spreads wide across Baekhyun’s lips.

 

 

The second the lit match leaves Baekhyun’s fingers, he holds his breath.

He watches as flames flicker and spread across the kerosene-soaked pile of Yesung’s things, drowning the photos, drowning everything in destruction. The smell of burning rubber makes his nose burn, but the feeling of being rid of these things is too good to care.

And then he sighs, holding his favorite sweatshirt in front of him, saying one last silent goodbye before dropping it onto the pile as well, only closing his eyes for a moment to protect them from the sudden surge of heat and light, but they open at the feeling of Yixing’s hand comfortably pressing between his shoulder blades, right where it feels best.

Baekhyun turns to face him as his hand starts rubbing small circles through his shirt. “Is that a smile I see?” Yixing asks.

“I think it’s just my brave face,” Baekhyun answers honestly, because he can’t help but feel like shit when memories are playing in his head like a movie on a screen, one for each item in the trashcan in this community park in the middle of the night.

Sitting at the piano, hands skirting the keys until they’re skirting Baekhyun’s ribs, tickling him until he relents in his distractions from practice. Staying up late into the night, tangled up as they do their homework, stopping every ten minutes for kisses. Dancing their asses off in the middle of a crowd of strangers, neon lights bouncing off their skin to the beat of some indie band they never learned the name of.

And then, Baekhyun runs out of sweet memories.

Just as Yixing pulls him in, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, footsteps crunch in the grass behind them. “We have permission to be doing this, right?” Jongdae questions, loud voice shattering the ominous ambiance that had shrouded Baekhyun and Yixing.

Chanyeol shoves him as Kyungsoo steps up next to Baekhyun. “Sorry it took us so long,” he murmurs, resting his hand on Baekhyun’s lower back. “Jongdae decided now was the best time to savor every drop of ice cream.”

“Oh, whatever! It wasn’t only my fault!” Jongdae points fingers at Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. “When I finished I couldn’t find them, because they were making out in the hallway!”

Chanyeol’s smile is sheepish, but Kyungsoo merely shrugs. “We were waiting for him. I told him we’d be out there. He should’ve listened.”

 _”He should’ve listened,”_ Jongdae mimics, and Chanyeol strategically steps between him and Kyungsoo, probably to spare Jongdae’s life.

Chuckling, Baekhyun gently pulls Kyungsoo’s hand from his back so he can entwine their fingers. “It’s okay. You didn’t have to come out here.”

“This is important. We want to be here for you, Baek.” Kyungsoo lifts their hands to kiss Baekhyun’s. “How do you feel?”

Baekhyun turns his gaze back to the remnants of the last year of his life beneath the flames. His head hurts and his heart is heavy, but there are no tears in his eyes for now. He’s surprised to realize that he feels different, but he doesn’t know quite how to describe the exact feeling of a weight slowly, but surely, being lifted from his shoulders. “I think…” He takes a deep breath, pressing closer into Yixing’s side. “I think I’m okay. Getting myself to this point was harder than actually lighting the match.”

“This is just satisfying to see,” Kyungsoo says, but he squeezes Baekhyun’s hand to show that he heard.

Baekhyun snorts. “None of you ever liked him, did you?”

Kyungsoo and Jongdae exchange a glance, but Chanyeol frowns. “He seems to make a decent friend, but the worst boyfriend,” he says carefully.

“You’re not required to hate him, Yeol,” Baekhyun replies. “No one is.”

“Honestly, he was awful,” Jongdae confesses in a rush, like he’d been holding it in for a really long time. “I can’t believe you stayed with him for so long.”

“Rose-colored glasses,” Yixing murmurs, more to himself than anything, because Kyungsoo is already speaking up.

“I wanted to kill him 75 percent of the time he was around.”

Yixing asks, “What about the other 25 percent?”

“I wanted him to leave.”

No one seems to expect it, but Baekhyun is the first to laugh. He just melts into Yixing, stealing his hand back from Kyungsoo to cover his mouth as his guffaws echo across the park. It seems to stun the others for a moment, but slowly, the laughter catches on.

“Remember that time—“ Jongdae gasps. “He got drunk _by himself_ and ate literally everything in our fridge?!”

“Oh my god—“

“And then the rich motherfucker didn’t even offer to restock us!”

Baekhyun wipes his tears on Yixing’s shoulder, who just continues to hold him and giggle in his ear. “All he said was ‘oops!’” Baekhyun cries, and gets everyone going on another round of laughter.

“God,” Jongdae groans. “And how he’d always correct people, except 99 percent of the time, he was wrong.”

“What did he say that one time…” Kyungsoo wonders aloud. “Oh my god, the Winston Churchill quote—“

Jongdae tweaks his voice. _”If you’re going through hell, just go around instead.”_

Baekhyun is fully facing Yixing now, face pressed against his chest to muffle his laughs while Yixing holds him close. After a moment of listening to the others continue to roast Yesung, Baekhyun slips his arms around Yixing’s waist and tucks his chin against the crook of his neck. “Thanks,” he murmurs, voice melting into a hum as they start to rock back and forth on their feet.

Yixing’s lips press against his temple, warm and damp and careful. “I’m proud of you,” he says right into Baekhyun’s ear, spreading a pleased smile across Baekhyun’s mouth.

“He was so dumb,” Jongdae’s loud voice cuts between them suddenly. “But he thought he was the hottest thing since kimchi fried rice!”

While everyone is distracted by their own amusement, Baekhyun pulls back from Yixing, grinning, mischievous as he mimes taking a pair of glasses off and throwing them into the fire behind them.

“What’s that?” Yixing raises his brow, though the smile growing on his face shows that he probably already knows.

“The rose-colored glasses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave kudos/comments if you enjoyed it!! thank you guys for all the comments so far; they really make my day and i always reread them! <3
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/baekville).


	5. Step Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun takes a trip with his friends to detox.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry it's been more than a week since i posted :((( but i hope this long chapter is worth it!!
> 
> also this chapter literally would not exist without kiki so thank you a thousand times for helping me through the many blocks this chapter presented dkxkskdk <3

****

**Step Five: Take a Weekend Trip With Your Friends**

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun calls, hands on his hips as he stares at the stack of _necessities_ growing in the living room. “Why do we need this much beer?”

Kyungsoo walks over to him, leaving a giggly Chanyeol in his bedroom doorway. “Why _don’t_ we need this much beer?”

“Because I’m—“ Baekhyun frowns. “Nevermind.”

“Hey. What is it?”

Baekhyun scrunches his nose up when Kyungsoo pulls him until they’re facing each other. “Nothing. I just… sorta swore off alcohol for a while.”

“After what happened...? Oh, Baek,” Kyungsoo sighs. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because that night’s really embarrassing. I just wanna forget about it completely.”

“We’ll leave the beer here. We won’t bring it with us—“

“No, Soo—“

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I care about your wellbeing first, Baekhyun.”

“No, I—“ Now Baekhyun sighs. “I’ll be fine. I swear. We’ll bring it. Yixing thinks I’m well past needing to avoid alcohol. I was just being overly-cautious.”

“If you’re sure…” And then suddenly, Kyungsoo is changing gears, a smirk resting on his lips. “Are you sure you’ll survive two whole days without Yixing?” he teases.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I’ve hardly seen you for the last two weeks, and not because you’ve been holed up in your room, sad and _alone.”_

“I’ve had work! And school!”

“Both of which require sleepovers with your new favorite music producer?”

Baekhyun quickly turns back to the bags to hide his widening eyes, but Kyungsoo is already chuckling at him. He didn’t think anyone was paying attention, that anyone had noticed he and Yixing were sleeping in each other’s beds more often than not.

It’s not like they were doing anything other than _sleeping._ And cuddling. Or whatever.

“I’m surprised he’s not coming with us, to be honest,” Kyungsoo continues. “We’re going because of him and his step-by-step plan. _Take a weekend trip with your friends._ Isn’t he a friend?”

“Yeah, but…” Baekhyun pouts. “I don’t know. He said to go somewhere with you guys. I guess he didn’t want to. I don’t know.”

Yixing had told him that night they burned Yesung’s things, after they had put the fire out and gone back to Baekhyun’s apartment, after they’d dressed down into sleep clothes and crawled into bed together with no hesitation. _I’m telling you now, because you’ll need some time to get it planned, probably,_ he’d said. _Get away from the bullshit. Take some time now to NOT think about your ex. Take a weekend trip with your friends._

Baekhyun had brushed hair from Yixing’s eyes, asking, _Where should we go?_ thinking that Yixing was included in that, but Yixing’s automatic response had been, _You guys will figure that out on your own, I’m sure._

And Baekhyun had quietly let it go.

It’s been two weeks since then, and every time it comes up, Yixing still excludes himself from the possibility of going, and Baekhyun still can’t help feeling like something will be missing from this trip.

Now that they’re leaving tomorrow morning, he’s not even sure he wants to go anymore.

He and Kyungsoo go their separate ways after a little more trip discussion, because Kyungsoo hasn’t finished packing his personal bag and Baekhyun is starving. 

But he works on organizing the pile in the living room first, making it so they can just grab and go, moving everything by the front door for ease of access.

When the last pack of beer is placed, Baekhyun hears a thump, so he pauses, waiting, but it’s quickly followed by Chanyeol’s signature (at this point) moan, and he sighs, forgetting his hunger, grabbing his phone, and hurrying for freedom.

He sits on the floor of the balcony, sighing again as he draws his knees to his chest and doesn’t think twice about calling Yixing. 

”Hey, Baek,” he answers just as Baekhyun’s about to hang up.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says back with a small smile. “Are you busy?”

Yixing hums. ”Yeah, but I really need a break, so you’re right on time.”

“Ahh, this new song is giving you trouble?”

There’s shuffling, rustling and then it sounds like Yixing plops down somewhere with a sigh. Probably the couch in his studio, Baekhyun figures. “Yeah,” he says. “I don’t know why this seems to get harder and harder.”

Baekhyun frowns, picking at the rip in his jeans. “I believe in you. Want me to come over? Maybe another ear will help, like before?”

“Shouldn’t you be packing?” Yixing chuckles.

“I was, but… Kyungsoo and Chanyeol spontaneously started fucking and they’re loud, so. I’m on the balcony now.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun insists. “Just… I don’t know. Jongdae announced this morning that he’s bringing Seulgi, our neighbor, so now I’m a little wary I’ll be a fifth wheel all weekend.”

“That’s not fair to you. This is your weekend.”

“No, no. It’s something we all need, I think. And I really have been feeling so much better lately. So I don’t want to make it about me, y’know? It’s just a weekend to get away from bullshit.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. But still, I’d hate for this to be a bust for you.”

Baekhyun sighs. “We’ll see. When’s your new song due?” he asks, making Yixing whine cutely under his breath.

“Rough cut is due tonight—“

“But you’re a perfectionist so there’ll be nothing _rough_ about it.”

“Shut up!” Yixing laughs. “But yeah. There’s no reason to send in something that doesn’t even remotely represent what I’m trying to do.”

“I know.” Baekhyun tilts his head back against the wall, straightening his legs in front of him. The summer sun doesn’t hit him at this angle, and the breeze in the shade feels nice. “Final cut?”

“Tuesday.”

The solution is simple, to Baekhyun’s no-filter brain. “Then come with us and get away from your bullshit, too, Yixing.”

“Baekhyun—“

“We leave in the morning, stay tomorrow and Sunday night, and come back early Monday morning. Why spend that time locked up in your studio, alone and frustrated? Taking longer than a phone call break might do you some good.”

“What are you, the work guru?”

Baekhyun giggles. “The work guru and the love guru. What a pair.”

“What a pair.”

Comfortable silence nestles between them, long enough to make Baekhyun wonder if Yixing has dozed off, but then he hears him let out a slow breath. “Come help me pack?”

Baekhyun grins. “Already on my way.”

 

 

Baekhyun wakes the next morning to a kiss on his shoulder, and a smile on his face. He hugs Yixing’s arm to himself before deciding to turn over and burrow face-first into Yixing’s warmth instead. “I’m happy you’re coming with us,” he mutters, sighing pleasantly when Yixing pulls the covers back up to their shoulders.

“Me too,” Yixing whispers. “It’s time to get up, though.”

Baekhyun whines under his breath. “You just let me get this comfy and now you’re telling me we have to get up?”

“I was trying to butter you up before breaking the news to you.”

Baekhyun snorts. “If I can have five more minutes, I’ll pretend it worked.”

Yixing pulls away, but only to clear Baekhyun’s forehead of hair and press a kiss to it. “Five more minutes.”

When they emerge from Baekhyun’s bedroom _fifteen_ minutes later, still groggy and not dressed, it’s to find Chanyeol in the kitchen with a box of donuts and a giant plate of scrambled eggs. Baekhyun snorts. “We only had eggs left in the fridge?”

“Yeah.” Chanyeol grins, and it grows at the sight of Yixing behind Baekhyun. “Yixing! Are you coming with us?”

“I am.” Yixing clears the sleep from his throat. “Last minute decision.”

Chanyeol claps. “The more, the merrier!”

Baekhyun smiles to himself, fond of Chanyeol and his easy acceptance.

“Come get breakfast,” he adds. “The others already ate.”

“Where are the others?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “They realized we forgot water. Kyungsoo went out to buy some and I think Jongdae pretended to go with him but is actually next door.”

As Baekhyun laughs, Yixing rests a hand on his lower back, leaning in to murmur, “I’m gonna go wash up first.”

Baekhyun just nods and watches him walk away, skin tingling where Yixing’s hand had dragged, touching until he was too far away to continue.

When he turns his attention back to his other friend, he’s met with an excited smile. “So,” Chanyeol says, clearing his throat. “We really like Yixing.”

“We?”

“Yeah. We. Your friends.”

“Why do I feel like you’re giving me permission for something?”

“Not _permission…_ But approval, sure.”

“I’m too tired to understand what’s happening right now.”

Chanyeol laughs like Baekhyun is the funniest man on Earth. “Sure, Baek. Come eat while it’s still warm.”

 

 

Baekhyun stirs to Jongdae’s loud voice, whining as he tends to do. He picks his head up from where it’s rested against Yixing’s head—who’s sleeping on Baekhyun’s shoulder—to blink away his grogginess and see what the commotion is. 

Kyungsoo meets his eyes in the rear view mirror. “We’re here,” he grumbles.

“Why is Jongdae crying?”

“I’m _not_ crying! But I’ve seen _Cabin in the Woods,_ and spoiler alert, it didn’t end well! It ended with the freaking end of the world!”

“Jongdae—” Chanyeol tries, but Jongdae’s not done.

“I thought we were coming out here to get away from our bullshit, not to be cut up into a million tiny pieces of bullshit!”

“Jongdae, it’s a lakehouse,” Kyungsoo drawls. “They wanted to preserve the wildlife, so the houses are separated by trees, but there are houses on either side of us, like a five minute walk away.”

“A _lake_ house? A _lake?!_ Have you ever _seen Friday the 13th?!”_

Yixing picks his head up now, clearly unable to battle the noise any longer. Baekhyun uses the sudden freedom to turn around and look at Seulgi behind him, cocking an eyebrow at her. She rolls her eyes and nods. 

Chanyeol’s trying to explain that Jongdae never would have come and it will be fun, but Jongdae’s in the middle of saying that it’s all fun and games until Jason comes for them when Seulgi grabs his face and plants a kiss on his lips, shutting him up immediately.

Baekhyun watches how he melts into her, how his hands reach for her waist as he pushes closer. Baekhyun turns back to face Kyungsoo and Chanyeol in the front seat. “If I had known kissing would shut him up _that_ easily, I would’ve started doing it a long time ago.”

He grins at Yixing when he chuckles next to him, but immediately feels a tap on his shoulder and turns to find himself face to face with Jongdae’s middle finger. Baekhyun shoves it away and turns back to Yixing. “How was your sleep?”

“Comfy. Interrupted.”

Laughing, Baekhyun fixes a chunk of Yixing’s hair that’s standing up from being pressed against Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Sorry about him. He’s got a flare for the dramatics.”

Kyungsoo snorts, turning around in the driver’s seat to level Yixing with a dry glare. “Which is exactly why they’re best friends.”

“Oh, that’s not lost on me. I still remember them breaking into my house to steal a sweater back, after all.” Yixing elbows Baekhyun playfully.

Chanyeol cackles. “Yeah, when they could’ve just… knocked on the door or called me to get it for him.”

“Where’s the fun in that?!” Baekhyun whines. “I wanted to exact revenge. I thought he stole my sweatshirt.”

Yixing shakes his head, an amused grin still resting on his lips. “And it was in your closet the whole time.”

Baekhyun closes his eyes before the loud, _”What?!”_ comes from the back seat, then turns his head to purse his lips at Yixing, who at least looks sheepish. _”You had the sweatshirt the whole time?!”_

“Yixing.” Yixing raises his brow. “We need to get out of the car before he murders me.”

“Wh—”

“Outta the car. Go, go, go.”

Yixing and Baekhyun stumble out of the car, and Baekhyun immediately takes off running when he hears Jongdae clambering after him. He laughs the entire time he follows the first path he sees that leads around the— _giant_ —lakehouse, and struggles to stay out of Jongdae’s reach, footsteps pounding behind him as the path cuts through the trees.

_”You made me… break the law… for a stupid sweatshirt… that you had the whole time!”_

“I didn’t know until after!” Baekhyun laughs, pleased with the breeze that hits his face once they clear the trees. Baekhyun’s feet skid to a halt. “Whoa.” Even Jongdae’s rampage stops right next to him, just as in awe.

Baekhyun wasn’t quite sure what to expect when Chanyeol said _”fancy lake house by a fancy lake that a family friend owns”_ because Baekhyun had never even been to a _normal_ lake house or lake, but this is the most pleasant of surprises for him to walk into, and he thinks Jongdae agrees.

The lake is _huge,_ for one, stretching wider and longer than he’d ever care to run, and lined with large rocks of different shapes and colors that are too aesthetically pleasing to have been left there by Mother Nature, but they make a clean barrier to keep the white sand and lush greenery separated. There are gaps in the rock, one for each lake house concealed by the trees, Baekhyun assumes, which is just where the path they’re standing on ends. He can see people, or specks that should be people, all the way across the lake from them, someone jumping from their own personal dock—another thing that every lake house seems to have—and it’s amazing, Baekhyun thinks, how this feels like some sort of paradise, cut off from the rest of the world, unaware of its cruelty.

Baekhyun and Jongdae exchange a look. “Let’s go explore the house!” Baekhyun exclaims, and Jongdae is already running ahead of him.

“TRUCE!” he shouts over his shoulder, making Baekhyun cackle gleefully.

The door is already open when they get there, so they barrel inside, ignoring Kyungsoo’s useless shouts to not destroy anything, but they screech to a halt a few feet inside the doorway anyway, awe striking them once again.

The foyer opens up into a high-ceiling living room, high enough to have Jongdae whispering, “How do they decorate so high?” as he stares straight up, glancing along the balconies that must be the location of the bedrooms. Everything—from the floors to the walls to the ceiling—is done in wood, yet it doesn’t look tacky, especially not with the plush furniture and pretty paintings lining the walls, and the warm lighting. It’s homey, and comfortable.

They walk into the kitchen where Chanyeol is unpacking the excessive amount of food and drinks they bought, getting all the cold stuff into the fridge and freezer as soon as possible, and even this room is unreal, so packed with high-tech appliances it looks as if it belongs in a CEO’s penthouse, and not a lake house in the woods. 

“Chanyeollie,” Baekhyun says. “Where the hell did you find this place? And how did you not have to pay for it?!”

Chanyeol beams bright enough to combat the lights around him. “I told you. A family friend. I cashed in a favor, is all. Don’t worry about it. Let’s enjoy the weekend, yeah? Bullshit free.” Baekhyun and Jongdae nod confidently. “Also there’s an in-home movie theater in here somewhere. Go check it out.”

“What?!” they both screech, tripping over each other to leave the kitchen and find it. 

It doesn’t take long, not when there are four downstairs doors to check, one that leads to a bathroom, one to the back porch, one to a game room with a pool table, and the last to a set of steps that lead down into an _in-home movie theater._ “Holy shit!” Baekhyun yells, barreling around the red bean bags and couches and comfy chairs to the floor to ceiling shelf that’s lined completely with movies, and which sits next to the huge projection screen. 

Jongdae is quick to join him, scanning through the titles at eye level with his finger, but then he stops, leveling Baekhyun with a deadpan glare. “Do they think this is a _joke?”_

Baekhyun hums, distracted by all the superhero titles, then takes a look at what Jongdae’s gesturing to. He cups a hand over his own mouth to keep from laughing out loud. The entire row Jongdae chose to browse is filled with horror movies about cabins and summer camps and anything having to do with the forest and most likely everyone dying in the end, including _Cabin in the Woods_ and the entire _Friday the 13th_ series.

Jongdae runs out to whine to the others about his/their luck, but Baekhyun takes his time exploring on his way back through the house, stopping off in the kitchen to help Chanyeol with the last of the groceries.

“Thanks, bud,” Chanyeol says. “I’d be done but I made a quick check through the house and went to talk to Soo—“

Baekhyun shakes his head. “No problem.” He clears his throat. “Is this Yesung’s family’s house?”

Chanyeol freezes, and it’s the only indication Baekhyun really needs. He nods to himself while Chanyeol finds his words. “Baek, I’m sorry. He has no idea, if that helps. I went to his parents. I haven’t spoken to him in weeks—“

Baekhyun stops him with a hand on his arm, and a gentle smile on his face. “It’s okay, Yeollie. The house is amazing, and free. And you basically did this for me, so I really, really appreciate it. Don’t worry about it. I’m okay.”

Chanyeol sighs, searching Baekhyun’s face. “You really are okay, huh?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun beams. “As far as I’m concerned, I don’t know a Yesung.”

“Ye-who?”

They laugh the entire time it takes to finish unpacking groceries.

When they’re done, Chanyeol moves on to unpacking his clothes in his and Kyungsoo’s bedroom, but Baekhyun goes to look for Yixing, having not seen him or Kyungsoo since he left the van with Jongdae.

He pauses in the front doorway, smiling to himself when he sees them, their backs leaned against the van as they chat and laugh together. It warms his heart to watch how well they get along, to know that everyone does actually like Yixing and accepts him as one of their own. 

Slowly, he approaches, not wanting to suddenly interrupt whatever they’re discussing, and he tries his best not to physically melt when Yixing catches sight, and softens his smile just for him.

Why does Yixing have to look at him like that? Does he not know how weak Baekhyun is to any form of affection?

When Kyungsoo notices him too, Baekhyun asks, “What are you guys still doing out here? The house is amazing.”

“We hung back to discuss rooming arrangements,” Kyungsoo answers, subtly cocking his eyebrow when Baekhyun and Yixing automatically move into each other’s space, Baekhyun’s arm slipping around Yixing’s waist, and Yixing’s resting along Baekhyun’s shoulders. Kyungsoo clears his throat. “We thought there were three bedrooms, but Yeol checked and there are four. So I was offering Yixing the peace and quiet of having his own room.”

“Oh,” is all Baekhyun can bring himself to say, embarrassed at how disappointed he sounds but it’s too late to take it back, and he’s unable to change the sudden sour twinge to his mood.

“And he immediately turned down the offer,” Kyungsoo adds, a concerned frown on his lips as he scrutinizes Baekhyun’s face. “You okay, bub?” he asks. “I was kidding about the peace and quiet thing. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun smiles. “Sorry, I’m just tired, I think. All that running with Jongdae really wore me out. My brain’s not processing things anymore.”

Kyungsoo knows he’s lying, or stretching the truth at least, and Yixing certainly does too, but Yixing’s thumb rubbing his shoulder is soothing enough to keep him from running or acting out in his embarrassment.

Kyungsoo sighs, nods, and pinches Baekhyun’s chin. “I’m gonna go supervise Yeol’s unpacking. If I don’t, he’ll be working on it all day.”

Baekhyun and Yixing both nod, and the second Kyungsoo has entered the house, Baekhyun turns to face Yixing. “I’m sorry. It was unfair of me to react that way. You can sleep wherever you want—“

“Baek, it’s okay. I’d already told him ‘no thanks.’ We… We help each other sleep. I don’t want my own room.”

Baekhyun sags with relief, right into Yixing’s embrace. They giggle into each other’s necks for a moment before Baekhyun takes Yixing’s hand and pulls him toward the house. “Come on, let’s pick a room.”

It doesn’t take long for them to choose between the last two available rooms, not when Yixing gravitates toward the one with a large bay window that overlooks a well-kept garden of bright yellow and pink flowers; Baekhyun would be cruel to argue against the beautiful smile on his face, even before he crawled onto the window seat and cutely gestured for Baekhyun to join him. “Come here, Baekhyunnie,” he’d said, sounding so quietly excited. “It’s so cute and peaceful.”

And walking over meant getting all but pulled onto Yixing’s lap, the nook just barely big enough for the both of them but cozy all the same when they curled up together, Baekhyun in Yixing’s arms.

They dozed until Kyungsoo dropped off their bags and woke them for dinner prep, immediately giving them the task of collecting firewood from the shed out back while he and Chanyeol throw some meat on the grill, and Jongdae and Seulgi whip up some side dishes and gather enough plates and utensils for everyone.

They’re all chatty while they work together to get everything ready, laughing at each other when Seulgi is the only one who manages to start a successful fire for them to gather around once they finish eating, stomachs full and beers in hand.

Across the fire from Baekhyun, Chanyeol is plucking his guitar with Kyungsoo leaned against his shoulder, and on the bench adjacent to Baekhyun and Yixing’s, Jongdae and Seulgi are making a game of trying to sing along to Chanyeol’s random tunes.

It’s peaceful, and everything Baekhyun needs.

Yixing cuts him off after two beers, to which he’s grateful because he’s already buzzed even as he drags out his second one, unsure what’s making him warmer: the beer, the fire, or Yixing’s arm slung around his waist.

He opens his mouth to fill the comfortable silence between them when Yixing beats him to it. “So how long were you and Kyungsoo together?” he quietly asks, making Baekhyun choke on nothing at all.

“Jesus, I’m starting to think you really are an expert with this kind of thing.”

Yixing smiles, tightening the curve of his arm around Baekhyun’s waist to rest his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “You’re sweet with everybody, obviously, but there’s something different between you two.”

“You think I’m sweet?” Baekhyun tries, but when Yixing just cocks an eyebrow at him, he stares down at the beer bottle on his lap, wringing his hands around it as a reflection of flames dance in the glass. “It’s not like that. Not really. We’ve been close our entire lives, and… sometimes, we were all we had. He lived with his deadbeat dad, and my parents abandoned me. By the time we were in high school, we were lonely and thought we were meant to be that way forever. To only have each other. So we were each other’s first everything. Kiss, sex, whatever.”

Yixing rubs Baekhyun’s side. “What changed?”

“We went far, far away to college and realized we were wrong. It wasn’t only us. We were placed in a dorm with Jongdae and another friend of ours, Minseok. We all clicked instantly. Through them, we met more great people, and we realized we loved each other, but not the way our actions portrayed, you know?” Yixing nods. “I also realized I love to flirt.” They both laugh. “That sort of became my thing until I met Yesung, and through him met Chanyeol, who I introduced to Soo and things just kind of… fell into place. Obviously much slower for the fresh couple over there.” Baekhyun smiles as Chanyeol and Kyungsoo share a soft kiss across the fire from them. “But they were attached at the hip pretty quickly, no matter how long it took for them to stop being scared to take the last step in the end.”

Baekhyun takes a swig of beer while Yixing processes. “You guys didn’t have any issues, then? Jealousy? Hard feelings?”

“None.” Baekhyun shakes his head, happy to let Yixing pluck his hand from his beer and play with his fingers. “I know it sounds crazy, but we’re family. Always have been and always will be. I wouldn’t have wanted my first time or my first kiss or any of that to be with anyone else.”

“That’s really cool, Baekhyun,” Yixing says, and Baekhyun is almost startled at how sincere it is.

“That I just revealed an alarming amount of my past to you that I don’t share with anyone?”

Yixing shakes his head, lacing their fingers. “I’m happy to know more about you, and why you are the way you are. I’m not denying that. But I meant you and Kyungsoo. It doesn’t always end so smoothly, but I’m really happy it did for you two.”

“Are you speaking from experience?” Baekhyun frowns when Yixing immediately nods.

“When I mentioned my ex-girlfriend, who told me she hated me…”

“Oh, Xing…”

Yixing sighs. “It was a similar story, but not quite as dark, I guess. We were best friends growing up, and had watched too many rom-coms, maybe. We thought we were supposed to end up together, because that’s how it goes in fiction. We kissed in the rain on our first official date at a local carnival.”

“Romantic.”

“Yeah,” Yixing chuckles. “We certainly thought so. That was the point. We did everything that fiction taught us. We went on extravagant—high school—dates, we chose the same university, we got a cute apartment together. We did everything right.”

“But what’s right on screen…”

“Exactly. We were naive, I know that now, but I did really love her, I think. It just took me way too long to realize that love in real life isn’t all about extravagance. Sometimes the most romantic moments happen on a whim, when you’re in your underwear or having breakfast together or—”

“—Sitting by the fire,” Baekhyun mindlessly comments, only fully realizing what he’s said, what he’s implied when Yixing’s hand in his freezes.

Neither of them say anything for a long, unbearable moment, and then Yixing’s hand relaxes so Baekhyun’s heart can start beating again, almost louder than Yixing’s whisper carried with the breeze and smoke. “Yeah, that too.”

Baekhyun finishes off his beer and sets it on the ground, and when he’s wiped the condensation left behind on his hand on his shorts, he traces lines up the back of Yixing’s hand with his fingertips, gentle as he draws pictures neither of them can see, doodles only they can feel. “What happened when you realized?” Baekhyun murmurs.

“It was too late. I got home from a weekend trip with my grandparents and all her stuff was packed.”

Baekhyun’s heart clenches, and he tips his head against Yixing’s. It was sudden for him, too. But he supposes it’s almost always sudden, isn’t it? “Did she give you a reason?”

“I wasn’t good enough, was the gist. She hated that I wasn’t her storybook prince, like I should’ve been.”

“That’s not fair to you.”

“No.” Yixing sighs. “But I’ve made peace with the fact that she had everything in life handed to her, and she just assumed I had been too.”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says, pulling their tangled hands closer to him, hugging Yixing’s arm. “I wish your friendship could’ve survived, at the very least.”

Yixing nods. “Me too. Maybe it could’ve been if I had never drunk-dialed her. But maybe it’s all for the best, at the same time. I don’t think we would’ve gotten along today.”

“Good riddance.”

Yixing hums, adjusting his head so he can rest it on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Should I tell you about my ex-boyfriend after her?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t know, you might get a kick out of how disastrous it was.”

“Out of you getting hurt? No way.”

Yixing briefly picks his head up, huffing a laugh against Baekhyun’s cheek before kissing it. “Sweet. But really, this one’s laughable. Hurt like hell, yeah, but just thinking about how opposite it was from my childhood relationship can be pretty amusing.”

He goes on to tell Baekhyun about his messy relationship with a guy five years older than him, how Yixing worked so hard to do everything opposite of what he did with his girlfriend, sure that was the way to a successful relationship, but really it just ended up with them having a lot of sex and a lot of cheap dates to fast-food drive-thrus, a lot of drunk talks in the middle of the night and a only a little communication while sober. But Yixing loved him, Baekhyun can see it in his eyes, in his face, how fond Yixing once was, only shattered by heartbreak.

“I’ve had a few other boyfriends and girlfriends, between those two relationships, but nothing that lasted, and nothing that hurt,” Yixing says, trying to trap Baekhyun’s thumb in their spontaneous thumb war.

Baekhyun hums, unwilling to break his concentration until he wins. When he does, he smiles and glances around them, only to realize they’ve been left alone with nothing but the trees and embers of their campfire. “They left us!” he laughs.

“Oh.” Yixing gently startles, checking for himself. “When did that happen?”

“I have no idea!” He climbs to his feet and holds his hands out for Yixing.

“Bed?” he asks as Baekhyun pulls him to his feet.

Baekhyun just nods, bending over to throw some dirt over the embers and scoop up their two beer bottles, standing up straight to also scoop up Yixing’s hand, leading him toward the path to the cabin. “You haven’t dated since him?”

“No.” Yixing shakes his head. “I’ve had a couple of hook-ups, but after he left me, I was a wreck, and when I was less of a wreck, I drowned myself in work. I stayed really busy for a while. Things only cooled down recently. I hit the jackpot of sorts with an album I produced last year, and when I got my first check from it and knew there would be more, I decided I wanted to genuinely settle down somewhere.”

“What made you choose here? Or, well, you know what I mean. There. Home.”

Yixing smiles at him as they approach the cabin, turning to walk backwards and face him. Baekhyun likes Yixing best when he smiles like this. “It’s my grandmother’s hometown. She always spoke so fondly of it, how it wasn’t a bustling city, but was still bursting with life.” The smile on Yixing’s face softens and he checks over his shoulder just in time to not trip up the porch steps. He leans his back against the door when they reach it and draws Baekhyun closer by the hand. “I miss her so much, and thought moving there would be the best way to honor her memory.”

“That’s really sweet.” Baekhyun feels his eyes scrunch up with his smile as he stares up at Yixing’s face bathed in the yellow security light. “You were really close with her, right?”

Yixing’s grin widens. “Yeah. She was my rock. She and my grandfather made sure I never had to worry about my parents always leaving me behind to go on fancy trips. They loved me unconditionally.”

“So this is why you’re the nicest person on the planet,” Baekhyun only half-teases, drifting closer as Yixing laughs shyly.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Yixing’s free hand reaches up to brush Baekhyun’s hair from his face, but then it lingers, tender eyes staring down at him as his heart jumps into his throat. “Thank you for convincing me to come with you,” Yixing murmurs. “I’m having a really great time.”

Baekhyun bites back the force of his smile and can’t tell if Yixing’s face is moving closer or if he’s just imagining it. “Me too,” he breathes. “I would’ve been alone without you.”

He knows he’s not imagining the tips of their noses bumping when it happens, but just as quickly, he knows he’s also not imagining the rustling in the bushes to their right, and when something _howls,_ he and Yixing both jump out of their skin and scramble to get inside the cabin.

Baekhyun falls to the floor of the foyer with the force of his laughter. _“What the fuck,”_ he wheezes. “Are there _wolves_ out here?!”

“I don’t know,” Yixing laughs out, hands on his knees like he needs to catch his breath. “It’s been so quiet all night. Where did it come from?”

“I don’t know, but help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Baekhyun wipes tears from his eyes before holding his hands up, just waiting for Yixing to oblige.

Yixing rolls his eyes, but pulls Baekhyun to his feet. “Big baby,” he mutters, but they’re both still giggling with the shock of whatever was outside. “We should shower and go to bed before we end up shitting our pants or something.”

Baekhyun groans, kicking off his shoes, then rushes forward. “I call first!”

Laughing behind him, Yixing runs and catches him by the hips, all but tossing him to the side so he can hurry ahead. “Not if I make it there first!”

“Cheater!” Baekhyun cackles, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him back.

“You got a head start! But I guess cheating is in a criminal’s nature—“

Their horseplay lasts until the very last second, until Baekhyun manages to throw himself into the bathroom closest to their shared room and lock the door. “I win!” he yells, and their laughter fills the space between them as if there’s no door there at all, just them and their shared happiness.

Baekhyun hasn’t had this much fun in _months._

“I’ll be quick,” Baekhyun promises, voice soft and giggly.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Baekhyun does make it quick, actions racing with his mind as he tries to process what the _fuck_ just happened. It was nothing. They were going to hug.

With their mouths?

Baekhyun shakes his head, scrubbing his scalp with vigor. No, no, it was nothing. It was dark and nothing would’ve happened if a random wolf hadn’t shown up. They’re affectionate; it’s just how they are. It was _nothing._

By the time he steps out of the shower, he’s still antsy, but has decided a late night snack is all he needs. He wraps a towel around his waist, and drapes a smaller one over the back of his neck, but pauses when he opens the door and finds a neat pile with his pajama pants, a t-shirt, and underwear right next to his feet.

He smiles to himself, picking them up and retreating back into the bathroom to change.

He forgoes the shirt and keeps the towel around his neck, poking his head into the bedroom before he heads to the kitchen. Yixing sleepily sits up when he sees him. “I’m out,” Baekhyun murmurs. “Gonna go see what I can find in the kitchen. You want anything for when you get out of the shower?”

“No. Thank you, though.”

“Thanks for the clothes.”

Yixing smiles softly.

Baekhyun is digging through the refrigerator when he hears a surprised, “Oh,” behind him, and peeks over his shoulder to see a sheepish Kyungsoo.

“What’s with the face?” Baekhyun asks, deciding on the deli meat and cheese, knowing they have bread in here somewhere. He sets them on the counter and starts opening cabinet doors.

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo answers in a suspiciously _it’s not nothing_ voice. “Are you and Yixing together?”

Baekhyun freezes, hand suspended in the air above him. Are he and Yixing—what? He turns to face his friend, eyes wide. “Of course not. Where is this coming from?”

Kyungsoo nods, and Baekhyun sees him sigh in some form of relief. “Yeol’s really embarrassed about it but… we were on our way back from a walk and we saw you two. At the door earlier. You looked… well, together. I don’t know. Then Yeol fell in a bush while trying to sneak and—“

“Hold on, did Chanyeol fucking _howl?!”_ Baekhyun asks, laughter bubbling in his chest.

Kyungsoo’s lips quirk. “That was his bright idea for a cover up. So you wouldn’t come investigate.”

“I’ve seen enough horror movies to know not to go investigate the strange noise in the woods, Soo!”

That gets a laugh out of Kyungsoo, his eyes closing with the force of it. “He’s such an idiot.”

Baekhyun can’t help but beam at his friend, walking over and taking his hands in his as they laugh together. “Yeah, but you love him anyway.”

“I do.” Kyungsoo softens, eyes scanning Baekhyun’s face. “I’m sorry. All I want is for you to be happy, Baek. I just… for a sec I thought you were keeping your not-relationship a secret and I kept wondering what I had done to make you uncomfortable enough to hide it from me.”

Pouting, Baekhyun hugs their hands to his chest. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’d be the first to know if anything was going on.”

Kyungsoo nods, scrunching up his nose. “I do know one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s so good to see you happy again. He makes you happy.”

And that, at least, Baekhyun can’t deny. He nods. “Yeah. Yeah, he does. But you’ve... also gotta remember that we’re here as part of my Get Over Yesung plan, initiated by him. Like, I’m not denying we’re close, but the circumstances don’t really call for…”

“A relationship?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.”

Baekhyun knows he doesn’t, but he doesn’t know what else to say, what else to feel in this moment. _I’ve just met my match when it comes to being affectionate,_ he considers. _We just click. As friends. Cuddlers? Friends._

Apparently he’s silent for too long, because Kyungsoo smiles, freeing one of his hands to reach up and pinch Baekhyun’s cheek. “Don’t overthink it, Hyunnie. We both know you’re on a good path. Just see where it takes you.”

“When did you get so wise, huh?!” Baekhyun pouts. “Don’t overthink. Tch.”

Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo shoves at Baekhyun’s head. “I can see it happening, dumbass. Just keep doing what you’re doing, yeah? It’s working.” Another pinch to the cheek. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Baekhyun melts. “Ditto, Soo baby.” He sighs when Kyungsoo pulls him in for a hug. “Thanks.”

But Kyungsoo isn’t able to respond when a wild Jongdae running in, yelling and all but tackling them, joining their hug. “Yah, you idiots are having a moment without me, huh?!”

Laughing, Baekhyun does his best to shove Jongdae off, only for Jongdae to up his retaliation more and smack a wet kiss on his cheek and hug them tighter. “I love you guys,” Baekhyun can’t help but giggle.

“Yeah, yeah!” Jongdae rolls his eyes, but he softens all over, which in Jongdae-speak means, _I love you, too._

By the time Baekhyun eats and heads back to the bedroom, Yixing is walking out of the bathroom, towel-drying his hair. Baekhyun beams at him and opens the door to their room, launching himself inside and plopping down on his back on the bed. “How was your shower?” he asks when Yixing walks in with an amused smile.

“Refreshing. How was your late night snack?”

Baekhyun pats his stomach. “Mmm.”

“What’d you have?” Yixing asks after he tosses his hair-towel to the side and crawls onto the bed. 

Baekhyun swallows, nervous out of nowhere as his eyes linger on Yixing’s bare torso, and the way his mild muscles flex as he moves, how low his pajamas hang on his hip bones, the trail of hair disappearing into them… He only averts his gaze to bore holes into the ceiling when Yixing plops onto his back next to him.

It’s suddenly hot in the room, and Baekhyun swallows but finds it hard to breathe. 

Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t mind hugging Yixing with his mouth. Just a little. Like, once, maybe. Just to try it.

“Baekhyun?”

“Hm?”

“You never answered my question.”

“Oh…” Baekhyun racks his brain. “What?”

Chuckling, Yixing repeats, “What’d you have? To eat?”

“Oh.” Baekhyun’s laugh is nervous at best. “I made sandwiches for me, Soo, and Jongdae.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you got to spend a little time with them away from their significant others, at least.”

“Me too.”

A calm seems to settle over them, between them, all around them, and despite Baekhyun’s previous state of near-panic, he finds peace not only in the chirps of crickets and geckos filling the otherwise silent room, but in staring up at the ceiling with Yixing’s warmth at his side. Just knowing that he’s there, and that he cares for Baekhyun regardless of the odd circumstances that led them to this meaningful friendship, is enough to settle any panic, any worry Baekhyun may have now or in the future. _Just see where it takes you._

“Baekhyunnie,” Yixing mumbles, sounding just about asleep.

Baekhyun turns his head to see him, and he thinks his eyes are closed, but it’s hard to see much more than the silhouette of his face against the very little light coming in through the windows, the slope of his perfect nose. “Yeah?”

“Can I ask about your parents?” Yixing gently asks, like he’s worried to ask, but too curious to not.

Baekhyun takes a moment to collect his thoughts, to adjust to the 180 of his feelings. Yixing turns his head to meet his gaze, but Baekhyun seeks the ceiling before he can, biting his lip. He searches for Yixing’s hand between them, only letting out a deep breath when he finds it. “Yeah. I mean. There’s not much to tell. They just left me behind. I got placed with an aunt who luckily lived just on the other side of town so I didn’t have to leave Soo behind.” Baekhyun shrugs. “They just didn’t want to put up with me anymore.”

“Baek, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s—” Baekhyun shakes his head. “It’s fine. I mean… I had to go to therapy for my fear of abandonment for a long time, and it helped but—”

“Oh…”

“Yeah.”

“Have you been going since…? Or do you plan on going back?”

“Since Yesung left with very little warning?” Baekhyun sniffles. “I can’t afford it anymore. I’m doing okay though. Like, way better than expected, honestly. I’ve just been taking it one day at a time.” Yixing kisses his hand. “It’s actually been… so bearable, other than the ridiculous amounts of crying I’ve done. You… You’ve helped so much, Yixing.” Switching which hand Yixing holds, Baekhyun turns on his side. “I’m sorry if that… makes you feel weird or—or I don’t know. It’s not like you’re a therapist, let alone mine—”

“No, no. Hey.” Another switch of hands, and Yixing turns on his side, too. “I’m glad I’ve been able to help in even bigger ways than I ever realized. I just want you to be happy.”

Baekhyun snuggles more comfortably into his pillow. “You make me happy.”

“You make me happy, too.”

They fall asleep just like that, hands clasped between them and a spark of hope igniting in Baekhyun’s veins.

 

 

Day two passes as smoothly as the breeze along the shore of the lake.

Baekhyun and Yixing are the first to wake, and they sleepily giggle their way through choosing food to take with them into the in-home theater, and through choosing one of the many movies about cabins or houses in the woods, joking that this could have been them had what they heard last night been a real wolf, and not just Chanyeol panicking.

So they spend the morning cuddling and hiding their faces in each other’s skin when they get scared, and when the movie ends they can’t be bothered to budge, softly chatting more about Yixing’s grandparents while their hands innocently roam each other’s torsos, caressing whatever skin they can find.

Kyungsoo eventually finds them and drags them out for lunch with everyone so Chanyeol can show them a pamphlet about a nearby nature trail designed for people renting the lake houses; it’s lined with mile markers and fairy lights—for nighttime hikers—and has info about the local wildlife along the way. Baekhyun thinks the trail is supposed to be sold as romantic, and is a little wary about hiking it with two couples and Yixing, but Chanyeol is so excited about it that he’d never be able to deny him the pleasure of going. Baekhyun will just have to suck it up.

They—excluding Jongdae—do decide it’d be cooler to go at night, though, so they finish up lunch and haul themselves, an abundance of towels, and an ice chest with water and beer out to the lake for a group swim, content to stay there for hours, talking about nothing and everything, chasing each other around like kids, and overall just enjoying the warmth from the sun, beer, and laughter.

Kyungsoo grills meat for dinner again, and by the time they’re setting out for their short hike once the sun sets, they’re all a little tipsy and a lot giggly, clinging to their significant others, or their significant Yixing, as they _ooh_ and _ahh_ over the fairy lights lining the trail, and how they look like they’re floating.

Baekhyun’s previous worries materialize in front of him though, when he realizes that they lose Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, or Jongdae and Seulgi for short periods of time, and it’s only when he and Yixing investigate the suspicious, muffled giggles coming from the trees that it becomes clear the couples are disappearing to makeout in the privacy of the woods (which is overall not good for Baekhyun’s internal dilemma of _I want to kiss Yixing)._

Baekhyun knows for a fact because he peeks around a tree and is face to face with Kyungsoo’s tongue down Chanyeol’s throat. _”Awoo,”_ Baekhyun mutters, making Chanyeol flail so hard, he falls over.

Kyungsoo pushes a laughing Baekhyun back, making him stumble right into Yixing’s arms.

“Hello there,” Baekhyun giggles out when Yixing’s hands slip into his front pockets from behind. It makes it difficult to walk but they certainly try anyway, and Baekhyun feels his whole body heat up when he spots Jongdae and Seulgi ahead of them, apparently done with trying to hide their need to kiss each other like there’s no tomorrow. 

God, Baekhyun misses kissing. There’s no better feeling than pressing his lips against someone else’s lips, than the art of caressing tongues. 

And he knows he’s getting desperate when Yixing pressing a kiss to his cheek makes him full-body shudder. “They’re all really into PDA,” Yixing whispers, and it’s ironic, really.

Baekhyun says as much out loud. “I think we are too.”

“Touché.” Yixing giggles, pressing the sound into Baekhyun’s neck and making him squirm. Yixing’s hands rub Baekhyun’s hips, slipping in and out of his pockets. “We’ve seen more kissing than nature and wildlife so far.”

And if Yixing’s touchiness is anything to go by, it just might be affecting him as much as it’s affecting Baekhyun.

“Wanna get out of here?” Baekhyun grasps Yixing’s hands in his. “No one’s paying attention to us anyway.”

Removing Yixing’s hands from his body does nothing for his health, not when Yixing keeps pulling him closer to kiss his cheek. “Where should we go?” Yixing mumbles just as Baekhyun starts to break a sweat.

“We could watch a movie? Swim? Or even just sit by the lake and count stars, I don’t know.”

They’re already walking backwards together as Yixing hums. “I wanna stay outside. It’s nice out here.”

“Lake it is, then,” Baekhyun breathes, and they continue sneaking away without even a glance from their friends.

Once they reach the house, they run inside for a blanket, towels, snacks, and water, then hurry back out, laughing for no reason at all. 

They eat the snacks on the way and chug most of their water while Baekhyun hopes out loud that they can see lots of stars when they sit down.

He plops into the sand unceremoniously, and then pats the space behind him as he beams up at Yixing, who seems to be stuck admiring him, though Baekhyun doesn’t understand why.

Yixing shakes his head, his haze. “You always get to be the little spoon,” he pouts. “Give a guy an opportunity here.”

Chuckling, Baekhyun scoots back and opens his arms, spreads his legs, and honestly, anything is worth the bright smile that lights up Yixing’s face, and the dimples that dent his cheeks.

Yixing sits down in front of him and scoots back until he’s cradled by Baekhyun’s body, who slips one arm around his waist, and drapes the other over his shoulder and across his chest, hugging him tightly to him. He nuzzles into Yixing’s neck as Yixing pulls the blanket over them and hums, settling fully into Baekhyun’s embrace. “Equal spoon rights!” he gently exclaims, making Baekhyun laugh into his skin.

“If you wanted me to hold you, all you had to do was ask,” Baekhyun teases as Yixing’s fingers entwine with his. 

“I just did, crook! Don’t rub it in my face.”

Baekhyun groans. “We’re back to the criminal names? I thought we’d moved on.” He snickers.

“Never,” Yixing teases, before his voice softens. “You’re my favorite delinquent though.”

Baekhyun’s cheeks heat up of their own accord and he presses his nose against Yixing’s temple. “Don’t tell Jongdae,” he whispers, lips grazing Yixing’s skin as he does. He could swear Yixing shivers.

“It’ll be our…” Yixing’s words slow when Baekhyun presses a kiss to his temple, then his cheek. “...secret…” It’s innocent enough; Baekhyun is bubbling over with affection and this is how he shows it. He gives cheek kisses all the time. Yixing kisses him all the time. But when he thinks back on it later, even he can’t deny the shift in the air around them.

Suddenly, Yixing is leaning to the side and turning his head until their noses are grazing, barely hesitant, testing, and then there’s no distance left between them as their lips press together.

Everything seems to freeze for just one moment—something Baekhyun thinks is only supposed to happen in the movies. “Is this okay?” he whispers, because it seems like the right thing to say in the midst of his brain imploding. 

When Yixing nods, a dam breaks. 

Baekhyun cups Yixing’s jaw for purchase while Yixing parts his lips to take Baekhyun’s bottom one between them before pressing forward again, holding Baekhyun’s hand in place against his warm cheek as they share the taste of each other’s beer on their tongues.

It’s the first kiss to end all first kisses. Baekhyun knows because his entire body tingles with the pleasure of it, and it doesn’t feel anything like kissing Yesung, or Kyungsoo, or his random flirtships. And he thinks maybe Yixing feels the same way, when his breath stutters against Baekhyun’s wet lips before he presses one more firm, long kiss to them.

Yixing settles back into Baekhyun’s arms, hugging them to his body and nestling his head back against Baekhyun’s shoulder, eyelashes fluttering as Baekhyun trails sweet kisses down to his neck and stays there. 

Baekhyun tries to control his breathing but just ends up more breathless, heart trying to pound right out of his chest.

He just kissed Yixing.

Holy _shit._

He’s so immediately lost in his head that he doesn’t process Yixing pulling away from him, not until he’s standing and his feet are kicking sand around them as he backs toward the water. “Why don’t we… swim?” Yixing asks, chewing on his bottom lip and watching Baekhyun carefully, almost wary, like he thinks Baekhyun might run in the opposite direction.

Baekhyun stumbles to his feet, eyes trained on Yixing’s as the latter removes his shirt and tosses it aside. “J-Just swim?” Baekhyun stutters, feet already following his footsteps.

Yixing nods. “Just swim,” he says, stepping out of his shorts when they hit the ground. And when he turns his back to Baekhyun, gingerly stepping onto the dock, his hands grasp at the waistband of his underwear and he shoves those down his hips too, and even though Baekhyun _so_ specifically does _not_ look, the breath whooshes from his lungs anyway.

When he dazedly rips his shirt over his head and unbuttons his shorts, though, he catches a glimpse of Yixing’s pale ass under the moonlight, just before he jumps into the water.

_Just keep doing what you’re doing, yeah? It’s working._

The next few seconds Baekhyun spends stripping from the rest of his clothes and running along the dock toward the water are a blur, a big, fat intoxicating blur. He’s laughing by the time his head surfaces from the water and his gasp for air is inhaled by a kiss that shakes him to his core, and effectively ruins every kiss he’s ever had in his life before this very minute.

They sink with the force of it, but it only makes them scramble to be closer, to recover some semblance of buoyancy in the heat of the moment, in the cool of the water, and it’s all Baekhyun can do to grab onto the dock’s post and hold on for dear life, his other fingers tangling in Yixing’s wet hair as Yixing’s tongue slips past his lips, warm against the moisture cooling on their skin.

Regardless of this, of being naked and vulnerable and intimate enough to boil the water around them, Yixing’s hands slow their roaming along Baekhyun’s body, their tongues slow their incessant exploring, and Baekhyun knows this next moment is vital, knows that despite the fact he’s tugging at Yixing’s bottom lip with his thumb while they press a little closer, take a little more, that this was a whim, a living reverie that he’s only come to realize he might want in the last 24 hours.

He doesn’t want their friendship to falter because of this but _goddammit_ if it doesn’t feel good.

Just when Baekhyun’s arm starts to ache from holding them up, Yixing pulls back a fraction, slow enough to make their lips smack, though the sound gets lost in the undulating waves around them. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispers.

Baekhyun nods, staring into Yixing’s dazed eyes. “I know,” he whispers right back, despite the way Yixing’s lips feel like magnets for his own.

“That doesn’t mean…” Yixing eases Baekhyun’s hand from the dock post, replacing it with his own as he flips their positions. Baekhyun wraps his hands around the back of Yixing’s neck, moving close enough to kiss and stealing one feather soft peck from his cheek before he continues, “That doesn’t mean I don’t want it, I just…”

“I know,” Baekhyun whispers. “It’s not the right time.”

“No, no it isn’t.”

Baekhyun finds himself a little lost in the way Yixing’s gazing at him, like Baekhyun is the most important thing to him this very second, but the realization hits him that _Yixing_ is the most important thing to _him_ this very second, in a big way that speaks volumes of how much progress Baekhyun has made since Yesung left him. “I understand,” he says, nodding a little, if only because he likes the way it feels when their noses brush.

“Are you sure?” Yixing cups Baekhyun’s face. “You understand that this isn’t me rejecting you? That I’m not leaving you behind?”

Baekhyun smiles. _”I know,”_ he insists, because he does know; he suddenly feels like everything is clearer than it’s ever been. 

He waits for Yixing’s answering smile before speaking against his lips, “Race you to the other side of the dock.” And then he splashes off, giggling at Yixing’s outraged cry, kicking when fingers graze his feet.

It quickly turns into a game of _”if you can catch me, you can kiss me”_ and Baekhyun thinks that just for tonight, just in this lake, they let each other win a few too many times, greedy for what they can’t have.

Sometimes the most romantic moments happen on a whim, when you’re in your underwear or having breakfast together or sitting by the fire...

Or skinny dipping in a lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what u think in the commentssssss ily guys <3


	6. Step Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun faces his greatest challenge yet.

**Step Six: Have Coffee With Your Ex**

Baekhyun learns what it’s like to miss Yixing once they return home from their trip.

They spend Tuesday evening together, Baekhyun quietly doing his homework until Yixing finishes the song he was having trouble with before, and then they celebrate with ice cream in front of the TV, finding a random horror movie to watch to continue the trend they started at the lake house.

Although Baekhyun thinks he _maybe_ spends more time watching Yixing’s lips.

Their dynamic has definitely changed since they kissed. They’re more careful with their touching now, like one wrong (right?) move could set them off on a flurry of kisses, on a path they’re not ready to take yet, or maybe ever.

But it doesn’t change the way they help each other sleep, and they can’t control what their limbs do, what their hands do while they’re unconscious.

Baekhyun is spared the conversation about waking up to Yixing’s hand all but kneading his ass, however, when _Yixing_ is woken up by his phone ringing on the nightstand.

Yixing groggily answers while Baekhyun makes himself more comfortable, slipping down so he can rest his head on Yixing’s chest and watch him speak. His eyes slip closed when Yixing runs his fingers through his hair, absent-minded as someone chats away on the other line, Yixing only offering noncommittal hums along the way.

“How long?” Yixing rasps, rousing Baekhyun from the light sleep he was falling into. “Promise? I work from home for a reason, you know.” He sighs. “Sorry, I just woke up. I’m very grateful for this opportunity. It’s huge. Thank you so much.”

By the time Yixing hangs up and drops his phone onto the bed, Baekhyun’s curiosity is more than peaked. “Good news?” he asks, trying not to shiver when Yixing thoughtfully runs his thumb across Baekhyun’s lips while he stares at the ceiling.

“Yeah. A major artist in LA wants me to work on her album. If it does well, it’ll be even bigger than the last big project I did.”

“That’s amazing!” Baekhyun smiles wide, only for it to slowly fade. “You asked how long…”

At that, Yixing pillows his head with his free arm so he can look at Baekhyun, smiling softly. “They only need me for two weeks. Three tops.”

“Oh. It seems like you’d be needed longer?”

Yixing hums, carding his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair again, albeit a little more reverent this time. “The artist is co-writing, and already has a lot of ideas. She just wants structure. I’ll help her write a few songs, sit while she records demo vocals for some, play around with tracks, get a feel for what she wants, then other writers will come in and do their thing and I can come home. Anything else they need from me can be done in my home studio.”

Now Baekhyun hums, reaching up to pinch Yixing’s cheek. “What will I do without my bedmate for two to three weeks, huh?” He giggles when Yixing successfully bites his hand before lacing their fingers together. Baekhyun can feel sleep edging at his consciousness again and hopes they can go back to sleep, stay in bed a little longer.

“When I come back, we’ll just have to sleep for a whole day, to make up for it.”

“For the sleep we’ll lose or our time apart?”

Yixing kisses Baekhyun’s fingers. “Why not both?”

 

 

Sleeping without Yixing turns out to be much harder than Baekhyun thought.

He never meant to grow so dependent on Yixing, to need him so wholly that the second he’s gone, Baekhyun falls apart, but that’s exactly what happens; he tosses and turns throughout the first night, and the second, crawling out of bed each morning wanting to claw his own eyes out and grumpy as can be.

When the third night hits, he spends an hour staring, wide awake, at the ceiling before throwing his covers off and padding across the apartment and into Kyungsoo’s room. He climbs right into Kyungsoo’s personal cocoon of warmth, arranging Kyungsoo’s limbs until he stirs and automatically pulls Baekhyun close himself. “Baek?” he slurs. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“No,” Baekhyun all but whimpers. “Can’t sleep.”

Kyungsoo pulls back from where Baekhyun is burrowed under his chin, and kisses his forehead. “What’s wrong, Hyunnie?”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer for a long time, hoping Kyungsoo will just fall back asleep, but his silence seems to have the opposite effect, as Kyungsoo starts carding his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, then tugs at his ear to get his attention.

Frowning, Baekhyun inhales deeply. “I-I can’t sleep without Yixing,” he finally whispers.

“Oh, Baekhyun...”

“Don’t use that tone on me.” That pitying, sympathetic tone. He hates it.

Kyungsoo sighs, pulling Baekhyun close again. “I didn’t realize you guys were sleeping together _every_ night.”

“Mhm.” Baekhyun lets his eyes fall shut, the warmth of another person slowly, slowly but surely coaxing him to sleep. “He has trouble sleeping alone, too.”

“I see.”

Silence rests between them for only a moment.

“We kissed at the lake.”

_”What?”_ Kyungsoo pulls back again, probably trying to see Baekhyun’s face in the darkness, but Baekhyun doesn’t open his eyes.

He just nods. It’s been a week since the kiss. Kisses. Baekhyun has done pretty well pushing the memory from his mind, if only for now, but the longer he goes without being in Yixing’s arms, the more prominent the feeling of kissing him becomes in the forefront of his thoughts, no matter how much that entire night felt like a dream, a fever dream, even.

He thinks it should be the opposite of that, but he also thinks just having Yixing in his life is better than good enough. Seeing his face every day, being in his arms every night is enough to keep Baekhyun content while they’re in limbo, and while Baekhyun finishes healing.

“Where? When?”

“When we skinny-dipped in the lake on Sunday night.”

_”Baekhyun.”_

“Why do you sound like Aunt Cherry when she walked in on us making out in my bed?”

Kyungsoo shoves him. “Shut up! That was mortifying!”

Baekhyun shrugs. “‘S not like we were having sex.”

“Your hand was in my pants!”

“She didn’t know that.” Baekhyun giggles. “She was just surprised. Not upset or anything.”

“Well,” Kyungsoo sighs, once his own chuckles fade. “Then that’s why I sound like her I guess.”

“Hmm.”

Kyungsoo’s hand finds his face and traces the line of his jaw. “Skinny dipping in the lake, huh?”

“Yeah… His doing, not mine, believe it or not.” Kyungsoo continues caressing his face, waiting for him to continue. “We were a little tipsy, I guess. Maybe that’s why we started. And we were definitely affected by how you guys were all acting on the trail, horny bastards.” Kyungsoo pinches his cheek in retaliation. “I don’t know. But the lake turned into like, a safe space or something. Once we were in it, nothing else mattered but us. Just while we were in it.”

“Honestly, I think I’m mostly impressed that you got naked together and didn’t fuck.”

Baekhyun’s answering laugh is louder than the night calls for. “Same, honestly.” Then his smile fades into something softer and he sighs. “I’m not gonna act like I didn’t think about it, or how easy it’d be to just go for it, but that…wasn’t what the moment was about, I don’t think.”

“Wasn’t part of the step-by-step plan.”

“No, definitely not. For either of us.”

Kyungsoo hums. “Did you talk about it? What you were doing?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun nods. “In the moment, and after, once we were in bed. He doesn’t think I’m ready, and I don’t really think so either, to be honest.”

“Is there really ever a _right_ time, though? Baekhyun, you’re so happy with him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you fit with someone so perfectly.”

“It’s not that I think it’s too soon, I guess, but I wanna make sure I’m not having rebound feelings only. I just...don’t know what my feelings are.”

“Baekhyun.”

“I don’t know what _his_ feelings are.” Baekhyun frowns. “We’re both lonely. What if it’s only that?”

Kyungsoo leans forward to kiss his forehead. “I know I’m not you guys, but from an outsider’s point of view, I think you have something special.”

“I just… I don’t wanna fuck anything up.”

“You won’t.”

Baekhyun sighs. “He says the most important step is next. Maybe I just have to get through that and it’ll all be clearer.”

“Any hints?”

“None.”

 

 

Baekhyun doesn’t mean to downright bury himself in Yixing’s arms when he returns from LA two weeks later, but that’s exactly what he does; he finds Yixing unpacking in his room and tackles him to the bed, pleased hums rolling between them as their scrambled limbs melt into a makeshift hug.

“Missed you,” Baekhyun mumbles.

“We talked every night,” Yixing counters, but he squeezes Baekhyun a little tighter all the same.

And they did. Baekhyun spent two nights with Kyungsoo, and one with Jongdae. But when he tried returning to Kyungsoo the next night, it was to find everyone’s doors locked and suspicious, sexy giggling coming from behind them. Baekhyun had settled into a mild panic despite knowing helping him sleep wasn’t his friends’ responsibility, but he had a major test the next morning and if he didn’t sleep…

After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, he dialed Yixing’s number almost on auto-pilot, not even sure he would pick up.

But he did, and he sounded as exhausted as Baekhyun felt but happy to talk with him all the same. They talked until they couldn’t anymore, falling asleep on the line together, and maybe it wasn’t a warm body, but it was still Yixing, and that was somehow enough.

“I know we did,” Baekhyun sighs. “I missed this.”

“Me too.” Yixing tucks his lips against Baekhyun’s hair. “I missed you too.”

And then, they slept.

 

 

It’s the next morning that Yixing drops the bomb on him.

“I need you to trust me, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun frowns, his stomach dropping at the look on Yixing’s face, at his pinched brow and downturned mouth. “Of course I trust you.”

“Step six is the most important step, but it’s also the hardest. Baek, just trust me—“

Baekhyun sits up on the couch in Yixing’s home studio, frown deepening. “Yixing. You’re freaking me out.”

“Have coffee with your ex,” Yixing blurts, closing his eyes like he didn’t quite mean to say it yet.

Baekhyun’s blood runs cold. “...What?”

He watches Yixing take a deep breath. “Like the other steps, obviously you don’t have to do it, but if you want to—“

“Why would I willingly go out with him again?”

“Baek, I’m not asking you to go on a date with him.”

Baekhyun wrings his hands in his lap. “That’s what it sounds like.”

“No—“ Yixing slips from his chair, moving until he’s on his knees in front of Baekhyun, resting his hands on Baekhyun’s thighs. “Why would I make you go on a date with him when I’m trying to help you get over him?” Yixing takes Baekhyun’s hands in his, thumbs soothing the skin of them. “Come back, Baekhyun. Think about what I’m saying.”

Baekhyun shakes the haze that had settled over him, staring into Yixing’s eyes and the genuinity behind them. He takes a deep breath and nods. “Have coffee with him. Why?”

“It’s a chance for you to lay everything out on the table and figure out why exactly he left you. Closure and all that.”

“That sounds painful.”

“That’s why it’s important, Hyunnie. This is the biggest difference between my first ex and my last. I wrote her a letter and got no response, but I bumped into Kasper at a coffee shop and we sat and talked and now I can laugh about our past together, when my past with _her_ still hurts.” Yixing gently smiles. “Plus, you burned those rose-colored glasses, remember? You might get there and realize he’s not all you thought he was.”

Baekhyun hates that deep down, he knows seeing Yesung again, talking with him, will help. He hates that up until this very moment, he thought he was one-hundred percent over him, but all Baekhyun did was find a security blanket.

Yixing.

He’s nodding before he can stop himself, trying to ignore the dread bubbling in his stomach, but it’s a little eased by Yixing’s warm hand cupping his cheek. “You’re gonna be okay, baby,” Yixing whispers, and Baekhyun just can’t keep his heart from swelling.

 

 

The biggest plus side to meeting Yesung at the coffee shop Baekhyun works in is that the smell of coffee and pastries immediately eases Baekhyun’s nerves when he steps inside, but the familiarity of it doesn’t hurt either. And most of what’s left of his uneasiness also dissipates when he looks across the cafe and sees Yixing and Chanyeol’s warm smiles, and Chanyeol’s thumbs up of encouragement. 

He’s surrounded by people he knows and loves, so he’ll be okay, Yesung be damned.

Baekhyun plays with his own fingers on the tabletop, taking deep breaths. Yixing had partnered with Chanyeol to get this not-date set up, since Baekhyun had blocked and deleted Yesung’s number, and Yesung probably wouldn’t respond to him anyway.

They were supposed to meet at three, and it’s now ten minutes past, which isn’t a surprise considering Yesung was _always_ late for dates, but Baekhyun does find himself considerably annoyed now, growing more jittery by the minute and ready to get this over with.

When it’s fifteen past, Yixing comes to sit with him for a moment, pressing their thighs together and coaxing Baekhyun to relax his fingers and let Yixing hold them. He kisses each hand before leaning up to kiss Baekhyun’s forehead as well. “You’re okay, Baek. Calm down.”

“I just want it to be done. It’s like he does this shit on purpose. Like he knows being this late will fill me with more and more anxiety.”

“Was he normally late like this?”

“Yeah, not this late though. I guess this is his way of saying he doesn’t give a damn.”

Before Yixing can respond, Chanyeol is waving at them, and when he has their attention, he points to the phone he’s talking into, and then at the door of the cafe. Yesung’s almost there.

Baekhyun sighs, eyes falling shut when Yixing kisses his hands again. “We’ll be right here the whole time, Hyunnie. You’ve got this.”

“Thank you,” Baekhyun whispers as he watches Yixing get up from the booth, and Yixing doesn’t let go of his hand until he has to.

The moment Yixing sits back down with Chanyeol, Yesung plops into the seat across from Baekhyun.

Whiplash, is what Baekhyun thinks he’s feeling now.

Yesung’s hair is growing out, past his ears, and Baekhyun figures by the end of the year it’ll start touching his shoulders. But it’s still the same milky grey it’s been since they met—something Baekhyun had helped him to maintain on countless occasions—and still makes his cute, pouty face look more pale than it should.

Upon noticing his train of thought, Baekhyun realizes that Yesung probably cares more about upkeeping his hair than Baekhyun’s feelings or heart, and that’s where he has to stop thinking and just get on with it. “Hi,” he says, his hand twitching like he meant to wave it but it just wouldn’t lift from the table.

“Hey,” Yesung chuckles, running his own hand through his hair. Baekhyun knows he does that to try and appear cool, nonchalant.

The onslaught of awkwardness is too much for Baekhyun to handle, so he slides over in his seat, hands on the table to brace himself. “Should we order?”

“Sure.”

They get in line together, Baekhyun shoving his hands into his jeans pockets so he can clench his fists and flex his fingers. He takes his millionth deep breath for the day. He can do this. He can get through this even if Yesung is standing too close to him right now, as if he’s trying to tempt him, as if Baekhyun is supposed to just whip around and burrow into his chest.

He shakes the sudden thought when he steps up to the counter and absorbs the contagious effect of Kris’ smile. “Hey Baek,” he greets. “You want your usual?”

Baekhyun scrunches up his nose. “Maybe just hot chocolate today,” he says. “I’m already… jittery enough. Also give me one of the cinnamon coffee cake muffins too, please.”

“You got it, babe.”

“He calls you babe?” Yesung’s voice rings out behind him when Kris goes to make his order.

Baekhyun squints at the counter. “He calls everyone babe.” Yesung should know this, considering how many times they’ve been here on study dates.

Baekhyun’s co-worker, Yeri, appears to get back from her break, so she takes over making Baekhyun’s hot chocolate and Kris returns to the register, smiling again at Baekhyun until he steps aside, and then that smile immediately disappears when Yesung steps up to the counter. Baekhyun has to purse his lips to keep from giggling.

“A large Americano with one and a half sugars, and half and half creamer. And two blueberry muffins,” Yesung says without being prompted, clearly oblivious to Kris’ demeanor.

“Mhm,” Kris mumbles as he types it in to the computer. “$10.83.”

Yesung freezes. “What?”

“Ten. Eighty. Three.”

“But—Baekhyun didn’t have to pay.”

Kris doesn’t even hide his distaste. “Baekhyun works here.”

“But I’m with him.”

“Still costs $10.83.”

“You’ve never made me pay before—“

Now, Baekhyun is downright _annoyed._ “Ten dollars is nothing to you, Yesung. You’re rich, remember?”

“Your drinks have come out of Baekhyun’s paychecks for years now, because he wanted to please you,” Kris lies, but Baekhyun is happy for it, really. They _should’ve_ come out of his paychecks, per the official handbook, but the owner’s okay with employee guests getting free stuff as long as the shop is still making money. Kris continues, “But I have to draw the line here, dude. $10.83 or no treats. You’re holding up my line.”

“Fucking ridiculous,” Yesung mutters under his breath as he pulls eleven dollars from his wallet and all but throws it at Kris, and yeah, Baekhyun thinks, _Yesung_ is fucking ridiculous. And it’s only further proven when he says, “I’m going to sit back down,” and turns and runs right into the girl behind them in line. The textbooks and notebooks in her arms fall to the floor and Baekhyun watches as Yesung merely grunts and steps over them, heading back to their booth without so much as a second glance or apology.

Baekhyun shares a wide-eyed glance with Kris before hurrying to kneel down and help her gather her things. “I’m so, so sorry about him,” Baekhyun murmurs. “Are you alright?”

She nods, flashing a weak smile. “Fine. Thanks.”

“Baekhyunnie, your hot chocolate’s ready!” Yeri calls out, and Baekhyun hands the girl her last book and apologizes again for Yesung before heading to the end of the counter to fetch his order, pinching Yeri’s cheek as he does.

Baekhyun holds his cup against his lips as he walks back to their booth, inhaling the rich scent of chocolate and meeting Yixing’s gaze across the shop. His brow is raised in that judgmental way Baekhyun has come to know and love, and a quick glance at Chanyeol shows that he’s pinching the bridge of his nose, and really, Baekhyun can’t help but agree.

He sighs and sits back down with Yesung without a word, placing his muffin on the table and absentmindedly beginning to pick at it. He can practically hear Yesung fuming across from him, and it’d be laughable if Baekhyun wasn’t so annoyed. Has Yesung always been this… _awful?_

After a few more long, torturous moments, Yeri calls Yesung’s name, and he huffs as he slides from the booth (because apparently being eleven dollars poorer to a rich man is worse than treating human beings with the slightest ounce of dignity) and goes to retrieve his order.

“Why are you giving me sugar packets?” Baekhyun hears Yesung ask, and he turns around in his seat to see Yeri give him her best, and fakest, customer service smile.

“So that you know we didn’t add the sugar for you,” she says sweetly.

“And why not?” Yesung demands.

Yeri giggles. “Because the sugar packets are at the tables for a reason, silly! The customers always add them themselves.”

“Baekhyun _always—“_

“Exactly.” Yeri’s smile stays firmly in place as she says, “He always was too good for you.” And then she walks away, standing on her tiptoes to pat Kris on the head before disappearing into the kitchen.

Baekhyun has to cover his mouth to stifle his surprised laugh.

If he thought Yesung was fuming before, it wasn’t anything compared to now when he plops down into his seat and nearly slams his coffee cup down. “Real mature,” he gripes. “Bringing me here so all your stupid friends can try to make me look like an idiot.”

“Honestly, I think you’re doing that on your own,” Baekhyun finds himself saying. He purses his lips. “I mean…”

“You just wanted to use this time to insult me, right? Chanyeol said I owed you this or whatever but I thought you got everything off your chest when you sobbed into my voicemail that night.”

Baekhyun takes a sip of his hot chocolate, figuring a scalding tongue would feel better than being stomped on so suddenly like this. “I’m sorry about that,” he says carefully. “I got really drunk and I was upset. That was unfair to you.”

“It was just annoying. We broke up. Big deal. I thought you understood.”

_Deep breath, Baekhyun. Deep breath._ “Understood what?”

“That college was boring as shit and you were a fun distraction.”

There it is. 

Baekhyun swallows the lump in his throat. “We were friends at one point, weren’t we?”

“Sure.”

“And that meant nothing to you? Above all else, you threw away our friendship like it meant nothing.”

Yesung squints, chewing on a large bite of his muffin. “Is that what this is about? You wanna be friends again? Exes can’t be friends—“

“One, they can,” Baekhyun says, trying harder than ever before to control his breathing. Glancing at Yixing doesn’t help when he looks ready to leap from his seat to protect Baekhyun at a second’s notice. “Two, no I definitely don’t want to be friends with you, _jesus.”_

“You don’t have to be so mean about it,” Yesung grumbles as he pours half of a sugar packet into his coffee. Baekhyun thinks he’s putting more care into pouring exactly half than he did into their breakup. “I don’t know what you want from me, Baekhyun.”

“The truth, would be a good start.” Baekhyun wrings his hands around his cup. “Did I ever mean anything at all to you? Why were you even friends with me in the beginning?”

Yesung shrugs, the picture of bored as he stirs his coffee. “You were cute. We made great music together. I don’t know.”

“We made okay music together,” Baekhyun mindlessly corrects, because he thinks he and _Yixing_ make great music together. He shakes the thought. “I was cute? That’s it?”

Another shrug. “Thought you’d be fun in the sack.”

Slowly, Baekhyun nods, unable to tell whether the knot in his stomach is tightening or loosening. “So you spent...a year being friends with me, being one of my best friends, because you hoped that you would get to sleep with me?”

“Mhm,” Yesung hums behind his coffee as he sips it.

“Wow,” is all Baekhyun can bring himself to say for a moment. Yesung was everything to Baekhyun, someone he shared so much of himself with and trusted more than anyone besides Kyungsoo. To think that even the most innocent of his feelings had all been laced in a lie, in Yesung’s lie, is almost too much to bear. “You told me you loved me.”

“Seemed like the right thing to say when you were always saying it.”

Baekhyun almost chokes on nothing at all but his own emotion. Did he always say it first? Was Baekhyun _always_ the one to say it first? He racks his brain, impossibly trying to dredge up every memory of them exchanging such impactful words, but the times he does remember, he _was_ the one to say it first. Every time.

“You wanted the truth,” Yesung adds, unhelpful as ever, and Baekhyun wonders why his rose-colored glasses were _so_ strong, why they kept him from seeing the truly horrific person this man apparently is. Why did Baekhyun fall for him? What did Baekhyun see in him that was obviously never there?

Why did his heart choose someone like Yesung when there are people as good as Yixing in this world?

The realization is sudden and yet not a realization at all that the only reason he’s not a crumpled, crying mess on the floor is because his heart already lives with someone as good as Yixing, like Yixing, _with Yixing._ Yesung’s words only hurt on the surface because he no longer has Baekhyun wrapped around his finger, and that gives him the strength to go on.

“So you got what you wanted the night of my birthday,” Baekhyun finally says. Yesung nods. “Why keep up the act?”

Sighing, Yesung leans back in his seat. “Baek, look, you were a good fuck. Period. Get over it already.”

Despite knowing he’s successfully moving on, despite knowing he’s better off, hearing himself called a _good fuck_ and that alone after spending two years caring so deeply for this man...it stings. That’s all he ever was and he never knew.

Slowly, slowly breathing in, Baekhyun nods. “Consider me over it.”

“Fucking finally. Can we have make-up sex now?”

Baekhyun feels his jaw drop as he gawks. “You’re fucking kidding, right?”

Yesung glances at the ceiling thoughtfully and Baekhyun is already scooting to the edge of the booth to leave. “Not really,” Yesung says. “I haven’t had a fuck as good as you since—where are you going?”

“Home,” Baekhyun says, tone dripping in disbelief even as he starts _laughing_ at the absurdity of everything that’s happened. “I’m going home with the people who actually care about me. Fuck you, Yesung. I hope you grow up one day.”

With that, Baekhyun walks right out of the shop.

He doesn’t stop until he reaches the alley behind the building, and the second his back hits the wall and his breath releases, he’s engulfed in the arms that feel like home, and he has a neck to tuck his face into as he tries to control the way his body is trembling.

“I’ve got you,” Yixing whispers. “You did so well, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

Baekhyun thinks that even though he feels reduced to a piece of trash being run over again and again on the highway, that he’s maybe a little proud of himself, too. 

He feels like he’s faced his demon, even if he went into it thinking the demon was his heartbreak, and not Yesung himself.

“Let’s go home, Xing.”

They crawl into Baekhyun’s bed with ice cream and a laptop loaded with horror movies, and Baekhyun only cries into his hands for a moment while Yixing rubs his back and kisses his shoulder.

And when Baekhyun wipes away his tears and peers into Yixing’s soft, sympathetic eyes, he basks in the purest wave of relief.

He clutches his chest and laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for reading and commenting and all that jazz~ pls let me know what you thought of the chapter if you feel so inclined; y'all's comments keep me going <3
> 
> twitter.   
>  curiouscat.


	7. Step Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Distractions and confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to ro and makayla ;)
> 
> smut ahead, folks

****

**Step Seven: (Optional, But Recommended) Distract Yourself With Someone Else**

“Baekhyunnie, the sun is rising.”

A warm hand rests on Baekhyun’s jaw while a strong breeze gently swings the hammock they’re tangled up in together. It’s all enough to stir Baekhyun from his sleep, and he cranes his neck to peer at Yixing through heavy-lidded eyes. “Sorry,” he mumbles, soft smile upturning his lips when Yixing kisses his cheek. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

They unintentionally spent the night at the lookout cliff behind Yixing’s house, which Yixing has taken it upon himself to fix up since they’ve started spending more and more time at it together. He replaced the broken concrete slab, planted yellow and purple flowers that warmly remind Baekhyun of the garden outside their room in the lake house, and he installed the large, blue hammock they’ve come to love cuddling in.

It’s become their own little slice of paradise, their own getaway.

And at three this morning, it was their drunkenly chosen destination to watch the sunrise, so they’d stumbled from the house with a blanket and water in hand, leaving Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Jongdae, and Seulgi where they’d all passed out in the living room after effectively celebrating Yixing’s return after another unexpected week in Los Angeles. He’d gotten home the night before, but it was late, and that time was for him and Baekhyun to cuddle anyway before Baekhyun had to work a double shift at the coffee shop.

The official night of his return resulted in him inviting Baekhyun and his friends, _their_ friends, over for dinner and drinks, and Baekhyun had been unreasonably pleased to arrive late and find all of his friends already there, tipsy and at home in the living room with Yixing, looking like they’d all known each other for years.

They’d all greeted him with boisterous cheers, and Yixing had opened his arms to him where he sat on the couch, even though it was full, unrelenting until Baekhyun sat on his lap and let himself be hugged, Yixing’s face pressing into his neck and inhaling the scent of coffee clinging to his skin while their friends shot knowing glances at him.

They clung, ate, drank, and laughed until they cried, entertained with drinking games and horror stories from their workplaces until the early hours of the morning, until everyone but Baekhyun and Yixing had passed out, forcing them to stifle their giggles behind their hands as they snuck out.

Presently, Yixing traces Baekhyun’s bottom lip with his thumb, eyes and smile easy when he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You could’ve woken me up sooner.”

Yixing shakes his head again, smile widening. “You’re cute when you sleep, you know?”

Baekhyun tucks his lips against Yixing’s chest, shyly staring at him through his lashes. “Stop,” he murmurs, but he doesn’t mean it and Yixing knows it.

He brushes his thumb across Baekhyun’s warm cheek. “So cute.”

Baekhyun whines. “You’re cuter.”

“I’m not cute.”

Baekhyun can’t help but think Yixing looks like the emoji that’s blowing smoke from its nose. He giggles. “Right. You’re pretty ugly.”

“Hey!” Yixing pouts, and Baekhyun finds that all he wants in this moment is to kiss that pout.

But he doesn’t. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he laughs. “You are the _most_ handsome.”

Yixing shakes his head, but he’s smiling so hard his eyes are closed, like he’s just too happy to bear, and Baekhyun feels that too any time they’re together now. Yixing just makes him _so_ happy.

“We’re missing the sunrise, baby,” Yixing says softly, but if Baekhyun looks close enough, he thinks he can see the sun rising in Yixing’s eyes. He almost says as much out loud, but he’s not sure he’d be able to say it without kissing Yixing senseless, and they have this unspoken agreement to avoid things that make them want to kiss each other senseless. But Baekhyun is antsy. He knows what he wants, and the longer they dance around each other this way, the harder it becomes to hold back.

It’s been a month since Baekhyun met with Yesung, which both feels like a long time and doesn’t, all at once. All Baekhyun really knows is that he hasn’t cried since that night, and with each day that passes, he thinks about him less and less.

Now, he sometimes feels like a distant memory.

Baekhyun is _happy._

His head is also clear, and though he’s aware he gets attached easily, that maybe his feelings get all jumbled and confused and tend to blind him, he knows now, is one-hundred percent certain, that what he feels for Yixing is real.

The past month has been different between them, maybe because Yesung is officially out of the way, Baekhyun doesn’t know, but they act more like a couple than ever before, holding hands, going on double dates with Baekhyun’s friends and just never saying the word _date,_ and still spending every night together, of course. They still help each other sleep, but Baekhyun thinks it’s more than that now, that maybe he’s not the only one attached, that maybe they just _want_ to spend the night together.

It’s other things, too, like the way Yixing almost exclusively calls Baekhyun _baby_ now, and the way it feels like they spend half their time kissing each other anywhere that’s not on the mouth.

Frankly, Baekhyun is _tired_ of holding back. He wants to talk about whatever they are, whatever they want to be—he tries not to dwell on not knowing exactly how Yixing feels, because that usually leads him to a dark place of assuming the worst—but Yixing has mentioned a couple of times that there are seven or eight steps to his _get over your ex_ plan, so Baekhyun is trying to be patient, but any time he mentions step seven, Yixing says _”later”_ or changes the subject altogether.

Baekhyun doesn’t feel like he even needs a step seven, let alone an eighth, but he trusts Yixing, so he leaves it alone, saves it for another day.

“Did you hear me?” Yixing asks with an amused grin.

Baekhyun matches it, albeit lazier. “What?”

“I said we’re missing the sunrise.”

Baekhyun hums, not _totally_ aware of the way sleep is taking him again, and the way it doesn’t filter his thoughts as he says, “Can’t possibly be as beautiful as you,” around a small yawn.

“Baek…” Yixing whispers, eyes more tender than they should be. Baekhyun realizes his mistake, the mistake he had _just_ stopped himself from making less than two minutes ago, the kind that makes him, maybe them, want to kiss each other senseless.

They stare at each other, unmoving for what feels like an eternity.

And then Baekhyun’s phone rings.

Startling, Baekhyun digs in his pocket for it, carefully avoiding Yixing’s eyes as he answers it. “Yah, Kyungsoo,” he grumbles. “Why are you awake?”

“I got up to piss,” Kyungsoo says, flat and raspy. “Couldn’t find you anywhere and got worried.”

Baekhyun snorts. “I’m okay. Yixing and I are out back. At the cliff.”

“Mm. I think I’m still drunk.”

“Tch. Go back to sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah,” is all Kyungsoo says before ending the call. He’s never been a morning person.

Baekhyun nibbles on his bottom lip as he slips his phone back into his pocket, then rests his head on Yixing’s chest, staring out at the pale sky. “Can we just stay here forever?” he whispers.

“Forever’s a long time.”

Baekhyun pulls their blanket up to his chin, then smooths his hand over Yixing’s waist beneath it, letting his eyes slip shut when Yixing kisses his head. Baekhyun sighs, affection making his skin tingle. “Not long enough.”

 

 

It’s only a few days later that Baekhyun finally gets what he wants.

It’s rare, that he and Yixing get to spend an entire day together; daytime is usually bogged down with long coffee shifts or pressing deadlines, and their off days never match up, so Baekhyun usually spends his with his friends, but this time, this particular day, it’s their friends who all have to work, and Baekhyun and Yixing who are left to their own devices.

They don’t make any solid plans, letting the day run its course on its own, so naturally, they end up at the lookout cliff, at the base of one of the trees that holds the hammock, Baekhyun leaned against it with Yixing in his arms, between his legs, and a notebook and pencil in Yixing’s hand as he searches for inspiration in the atmosphere around them. 

Baekhyun watches him write down words like _warm_ and _hands_ and _home_ and wonders if… _what if…_

“Yixing,” he murmurs after a while, lips pressed to Yixing’s neck. It makes Yixing shudder in his arms, and he smiles.

“Hmm?”

“Are there any steps left? You said there were seven or eight, but I’m fine. I’m just…tired of wondering if you’re gonna pull more shit out of me that I didn’t realize I was holding onto.”

The pencil on the paper slows down where it’s been scribbling a heart. “I think...you’re doing better than I ever did. Things are...different. But I’ll tell you step seven later, over dinner. And...you can decide if it’s something you need.”

“It’s an optional step?”

Yixing hums. “It’s labeled as ‘optional, but recommended.’ For you...um…”

Furrowing his brows, Baekhyun kisses Yixing’s neck. “Okay. We’ll talk about it later. No biggie.” He knows Yixing is being weird, but Baekhyun also _feels_ a little weird, because he truly doesn’t feel that he needs anymore steps, but he’s only still asking because the sooner he’s done with this process, the sooner he can talk with Yixing about what they’ve become, what they could be.

All he wants is to kiss Yixing again, to feel Yixing’s skin beneath his fingertips as they lose themselves in each other. He wants to be Yixing’s, for Yixing to be his.

But if there’s still a bridge to burn with Yesung’s name on it, then so be it.

 

 

They return to the house hand in hand, Baekhyun leaning into Yixing as they walk, humming the tune of a song they’d worked on together before Yixing went back to LA. Yixing is more quiet than usual, but he gets that way sometimes, lost in his head, so Baekhyun continues humming and rubbing the back of Yixing’s hand with his thumb in soothing circles, hoping that it’s enough to keep him grounded.

Yixing suggests they shower before they make dinner, and he goes first, so he can start preparing while Baekhyun washes up. Baekhyun makes sure to take his time, figuring a shower is needed, that maybe it will wash away the intensity of his feelings long enough to get through whatever steps Yixing possibly has left for him.

When he heads downstairs, Yixing is at the stove, grilling vegetables to go with the meat he bought, and Baekhyun smiles when he sees how much is in the pan. Yixing’s gotten in the habit of making the vegetables first, and making extra, because he knows Baekhyun likes to snack on them as they prepare the meat together.

Baekhyun touches Yixing’s lower back to warn him before wrapping his arm around his waist and resting his head on his shoulder. “Hi,” he murmurs nuzzling into the sleeve of Yixing’s shirt. 

He anticipates the warm kiss on his forehead, but it doesn’t stop his heart from reacting wildly, or the butterflies from overwhelming his stomach.

Okay, so maybe a shower can’t wash away these kinds of feelings.

“Have you mixed the sauce for the meat yet?” he asks in lieu of drowning in how much he likes Yixing.

Yixing shakes his head. “Nope. Got everything out for you though.”

Baekhyun smiles, kissing Yixing’s shoulder before separating from him, moving down the counter to the group of ingredients meant for making the basting sauce.

They work in silence after that—other than Baekhyun’s pleased hums when Yixing feeds him grilled veggies that he’s cooled on a fork by blowing on them—but eventually, the quiet is too much for Baekhyun.

Yixing is cutting the raw chicken when he blurts, “Please tell me what step seven is.” He sighs. “So I can know if I’m missing something.”

He watches as Yixing chews on his bottom lip, as if he’s _nervous._ It can’t be that bad, Baekhyun thinks. He’s already done the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. “Step seven, for me, was um…” Yixing hesitates, staring holes into the pan as he drops pieces of chicken into it. The deafening sizzle still isn’t as loud as Baekhyun’s heartbeat. “It was about distractions.”

“Distractions…?”

Yixing slowly nods. “I wrote all these steps down, you know, when I started helping you. But I—“ Yixing bites his lip again. “After I had coffee with Kasper, I felt great, but there was a small part of me that was still hurting, so I...looked for distractions.”

“Okay…”

“In other people.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun is the one slowly nodding now. “Okay… Why are you making this sound like a bad thing?”

“It’s not bad. It’s just… I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I specifically wrote down _Find yourself a GF, a good fuck, Baekhyun!_ And after what that prick said to you—“

“Oh. Hey, no.” Baekhyun moves closer to Yixing, shaking his head. “It’s okay. There’s a difference between you saying that, and him calling me that after I’d spent more than a year in love with him. Is that why you’ve been so...nervous?”

Yixing swallows. He still hasn’t made eye contact with Baekhyun, focused on absentmindedly flipping over the chicken in the pan. “I guess,” he mutters unconvincingly.

Now Baekhyun bites his lip, turning his body to fully face Yixing. “So I’m just supposed to find myself a distraction? In someone else.” The thought suddenly makes his body heat up, and he doesn’t really mean to inch closer to Yixing, but that’s exactly what he does.

“It-It’s optional,” Yixing stutters.

Baekhyun’s heartbeat pounds in his ears. “Optional…”

“Mhm.”

“Are you?” Baekhyun asks before he can stop himself.

Yixing pauses in stirring the chicken in the sauce. The pan sizzles. “Am I what?”

Slowly, Baekhyun reaches between Yixing and the stove to turn the burner off, watching as Yixing’s throat bobs, gaze still on their half-cooked dinner. “A…distraction?” A small smirk makes its way onto Baekhyun’s lips when Yixing’s part. He doesn’t know where this sudden confidence has come from—maybe it’s just his desperation finally exploding—but he’s pressed against Yixing now, just waiting for him to turn, waiting for him to respond.

And after a quiet moment, Yixing finally, _finally_ turns to meet his eyes, and just like it did in the lake, the dam breaks.

Yixing dives in and grabs the back of Baekhyun’s neck, crushing him under a kiss so divine, Baekhyun loses the ability to stand, arms thrown heavily around Yixing’s neck as his own weight falls back against the counter, dragging Yixing with him, sighing when Yixing presses against him, keening at the taste of his tongue as his brain chants, _finally, finally, finally._

Yixing hooks a hand under Baekhyun’s thigh and hoists until he’s on the countertop and dirty spoons and mixing bowls are clattering to the floor, but Yixing is seemingly oblivious to them, only concerned with wrapping Baekhyun’s legs around him and taking Baekhyun’s lip between his teeth and pulling. Baekhyun moans, fingers tugging at Yixing’s hair as Yixing trails his perfect lips down the expanse of Baekhyun’s neck, latching his teeth onto a patch of skin and making Baekhyun lose his mind, vision hazy as he tosses his head back, mouth hanging open, body singing its praises.

 _”You’re so much more than just a distraction,”_ Baekhyun sighs out, and the words make Yixing stop for only a moment, a moment to stare into Baekhyun’s eyes. “So much more,” he adds in a whisper, just before Yixing slams into him in the form of another passionate kiss.

Their shirts are in the flour on the floor when Yixing finally uses their position to his advantage and slips his hands under Baekhyun’s butt, carrying him just like that, with Baekhyun taking the opportunity to kiss _his_ neck until they’re falling to Yixing’s bed in a flurry of limbs and grunts and sighs, because Yixing wastes no time in trailing wet, hot kisses down Baekhyun’s chest, asking, panting, “Is this okay?” when his hands land on the zipper of Baekhyun’s ripped jeans.

“More than okay,” Baekhyun breathes, automatically arching his hips from the bed when his pants are undone, letting Yixing drag them down his legs, shivering as Yixing’s breath travels after them. “You can have me however you want—”

Baekhyun’s guttural moan fills the space between them, surprise laced amongst the pleasure as Yixing suddenly tongues at Baekhyun’s cock through his underwear. “Is this okay?” he whispers, tracing the outline of Baekhyun’s dick with the very tip of his tongue; it’s the hottest fucking thing Baekhyun’s ever seen.

“Of course it’s okay. _Fuck,”_ he cries. “You’re gonna kill me— _ah!”_ Yixing pulls his boxer briefs down just enough to lap at the head of his cock, over and over, not stopping until Baekhyun is squirming and burying his hands in Yixing’s hair, unsure whether he wants Yixing to never stop, or to hurry up and take his underwear all the way off and stop teasing. _”Yixing,”_ he whimpers.

“Alright, baby,” Yixing whispers, breath ghosting across Baekhyun’s wet cock and making him shiver. “I’ve got you.”

It takes twenty-one seconds—Baekhyun _counts—_ for Yixing to remove Baekhyun’s boxers and rip the rest of his own clothes off; Baekhyun reaches _twenty-one_ in his head and is practically salivating for Yixing’s dick when it’s free from its confines, tugging on Yixing until he slides up Baekhyun’s body and lets him capture him in a kiss, and wrap his hand around Yixing’s cock. 

Yixing moaning into Baekhyun’s mouth is the most intoxicating feeling, right behind the way his hair tickles Baekhyun’s nose as he ducks his head to look down between them as he thrusts his hips, slowly fucking Baekhyun’s hand. “Baekhyunnie… Baekhyunnie…” he sighs. “Fuck. I won’t last long. Not with you. You’re so—nngh—so perfect—“

“Have you seen yourself?” Baekhyun murmurs in disbelief. “It’s a miracle this is even happening—“

“Don’t—“ Yixing picks his head back up and kisses Baekhyun firmly. “You…” He trails slow, tender kisses down Baekhyun’s cheek, to his neck. “...are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”

Baekhyun’s eyelashes flutter as Yixing works bruise after bruise into the skin of his throat, tiny little love bites that he swipes over with his tongue in one slow stroke, drawing a quiet moan from Baekhyun’s lips, nearly making him forget what his hand is supposed to be doing as his entire body tingles with pleasure.

In fact, Baekhyun does kind of forget that he should maybe keep jerking Yixing off, but he gets too lost in the way Yixing’s hair feels between his fingers as he tugs it, and in the way Yixing’s soft skin feels beneath his hand as he kneads it, searching for purchase while Yixing unravels him, thread by thread.

Yixing’s wet, reverent kisses follow an invisible path down Baekhyun’s chest, his stomach, and Baekhyun’s back arches clean off the bed when Yixing takes his cock into his mouth so smoothly it’s as if he’s lived this moment one hundred times, and Baekhyun can’t help but think he’d like to live it one hundred more, himself.

Yixing slides a hand up Baekhyun’s stomach, like he’s trying to soothe him after such a violent reaction, but then it slides to the side, finding Baekhyun’s hand clenching in the sheets and tangling their fingers as he sinks down most of the length of Baekhyun’s cock. 

“Do y-you have lube?” Baekhyun gasps. “Please s-say yes.”

Yixing slides back up his length slowly, dragging a heavy tongue along it as he does. Baekhyun is a _mess._ “Yeah. Drawer. Why?”

“Because I need your fingers in me like, yesterday.” Baekhyun blindly reaches for the bedside table to his right, fumbling with the drawer handle as Yixing licks another slow stripe up his cock. “Need you to fuck me—“

“—Fuck, Baekhyun—“ His breath stutters against Baekhyun’s cock, and then he shifts to the inside of Baekhyun’s thigh, biting and nibbling and licking at his soft skin, apparently intent on leaving the biggest bruise he can manage where only they can see it. For Yixing’s eyes only.

When Baekhyun gets the drawer pulled open, his fingers latch onto what feel like condom packets first; he throws a couple on the bed and keeps pushing things around until his hand wraps around a small, round bottle, and it’s a little hard to read when it feels like Yixing is suddenly sucking a hickey onto his dick, but he’s pretty sure the bottle says it’s a water-based lube and _safe for silicone toys,_ so he throws that in Yixing’s general direction as well. “Please,” Baekhyun begs, uncaring to how desperate he sounds. He whimpers when Yixing’s mouth leaves him, however. “Please just—“ He clamps his mouth shut when he hears the _click_ of the lube bottle, because he knows they haven’t been in this bed long but still, _finally._

Baekhyun shudders, a full-body experience, when he feels Yixing’s slick finger slide right into place, rubbing, massaging, before slowly, slowly pushing in. Baekhyun’s inhale turns into a gasp and he practically sings Yixing’s name.

“Baby. _Baby,”_ Yixing whispers, voice dripping in unwarranted praise; Baekhyun’s not even _doing_ anything except trying not to cry tears of happiness or come on the spot but Yixing sounds like he’s just won the _lottery._

“Keep going,” Baekhyun pleads, deciding to ponder Yixing’s taste (in him) later. “Another, another.”

“Baekhyun—“

 _”Please.”_

_”You’re gonna be the death of me.”_

Baekhyun hears the click of lube again, and is oddly enamoured by the idea of Yixing adding even more lubricant as an added precaution in the face of Baekhyun’s desperation, but the moment is gone the second Yixing carefully works his middle finger in next to his other, leaning forward to mouth at Baekhyun’s balls and make him cry out, “Don’t stop!”

By the time Yixing is sliding his _fourth_ finger in, they’re both panting and covered in sweat, worked up beyond belief, and Baekhyun’s hips and inner thighs are littered with hickeys, his skin tingling everywhere Yixing’s lips and teeth have laid claim to him.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” Yixing gasps for possibly the hundredth time in the last five minutes, or maybe only the third time, Baekhyun doesn’t know anymore.

What Baekhyun does know, is that he can feel himself being pushed closer and closer to the edge, and he’s vaguely aware that he doesn’t want to come yet, but also that no sum of money could make him tell Yixing to stop when it feels _so fucking good._

And maybe Yixing was never planning on stopping, not when his fingers are thrusting at such a devastating pace, and his hair is sticking to his forehead like he’s some kind of greek god who’s just finished swimming in the fountain of youth, and _definitely_ not when he leans forward to pull his tongue along Baekhyun’s cock again, or to wrap his lips around the head and _suck._

Baekhyun’s body all but convulses as he comes with almost no warning, just as Yixing drops his cock from his mouth in favor of dragging his lips down the length of it; he makes a sound that’s somewhere between surprised and pleased that only barely reaches Baekhyun’s dulled hearing, everything too drowned out by the way his heartbeat downright pounds in his ears as pleasure soars through his veins.

When Baekhyun comes to from potentially blacking out a moment later, he’s being kissed and quietly praised, and his hands hurt from clenching the sheets so hard, but he works through the ache by rubbing them up and down Yixing’s body lazily, fingers digging into Yixing’s hips as their tongues graze between their lips.

Baekhyun traps Yixing’s tongue in his mouth, then his lip, sighing before kissing down Yixing’s chin almost drunkenly, high from release. “Please fuck me. I still want you to fuck me,” he gently pleads, sucking his own mark into Yixing’s neck; he wants to stake his claim too.

“I-I can wait,” Yixing murmurs, shuddering when Baekhyun’s teeth scrape his neck.

Baekhyun trails back up, lifting a hand to sink into Yixing’s hair and hold him firmly in place as he plants a filthy kiss on his lips. “I don’t want you to wait,” he whispers into Yixing’s mouth. “Please.”

“Y-You—I won’t last long at all—“

“I don’t care. I just want to feel you.”

“If you’re sure…”

Baekhyun nods and blinks through heavy-lidded eyes as he watches Yixing sit back and grab the lube and a condom, tearing it open with his teeth. He tosses the foil aside and slides the condom onto his cock with a trembling hand, letting out this soft moan that makes pleasure faintly stir in Baekhyun’s groin all over again. 

Lubed up and holding himself steady, Yixing guides his cock until he’s gently pushing inside Baekhyun, the glide much easier than Baekhyun was expecting. “Yixing,” he whimpers once Yixing’s all the way in. He grabs at him, tugging on his shoulders until he gives in and presses close, letting Baekhyun pull him in for a needy kiss, both of them quietly groaning into it as Yixing braces himself with his elbow and moves his hips, testing his mobility. “Just like that,” Baekhyun whispers. _Stay this close to me forever._

“Baekhyun,” Yixing whispers back, his next thrust slow and torturous in the best way. “Baby. You f-feel so good.”

“So do— _oh_ —you. Wanna...stay like this…”

“Anything,” Yixing pants. “I’ll do anything for you.” His sentence ends between Baekhyun’s parted lips, meeting him in a lethargic, reverent kiss as Yixing continues to fuck him at the same pace.

This is different from the desperation that leaked between them until Baekhyun came, this is different than the oozing sexual tension in the kitchen; this is Baekhyun unable to release his grip on Yixing for fear that they won’t be close enough, this is Baekhyun realizing that his feelings for Yixing run deeper than he ever imagined, that even if they weren’t physically connected right this very moment, their souls are more entwined than he thought possible. 

He can feel it in the way Yixing can’t stop kissing him, in the way Yixing touches him as he slides his hand down Baekhyun’s thigh to hook it over his hip, the way Baekhyun has never once felt this way when having sex, like the world has slowed down around them, for them, and nothing can tear them apart.

They kiss until they can’t anymore, gasping and panting into each other’s mouths as Yixing’s cock massages Baekhyun’s prostate and pleasure builds and builds and builds between them. “Baby, I can’t. I can’t—“ Yixing cries as his hips stutter in their consistent thrusts.

“Let go,” Baekhyun whispers. “Just let go.”

It only takes a couple more thrusts for Yixing to come completely undone, and Baekhyun thinks it might be the most beautiful sight he’s ever witnessed, Yixing’s full bottom lip trapped between his teeth, only popping out when he can’t hold in his moans anymore, pressing into Baekhyun’s hands where they tug on his hair and scratch at his scalp. 

When he goes limp in Baekhyun’s grip, sighing as the intense waves of pleasure peter out into a pleasant afterglow, Baekhyun draws him into a soft kiss before holding him in place and planting soft kisses all over his face. “You’re so beautiful,” Baekhyun can’t help but whisper as he kisses Yixing’s flushed cheeks.

“No you,” Yixing mumbles a little helplessly just before Baekhyun reaches his mouth again. They giggle into each other’s lips. “You…”

All too easily, they get lost in kissing each other again, but it’s lost all its urgency, now just an ebb and flow of sweetness, laziness.

“Let me…” Yixing reaches between them and gently wraps his hand around Baekhyun’s half-hard cock, making Baekhyun hum but shake his head.

“Later,” he says, hooking an arm around Yixing’s neck and leading him back to his lips.

Baekhyun’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stop.

 

 

“So you didn’t just...make up this step?” Baekhyun murmurs later, when his lips are numb and swollen from too much kissing. He doodles along Yixing’s chest with his finger.

“No. I told you. It really part of the plan.”

“Did you want me to choose you for it?”

Yixing’s fingers draw up the length of Baekhyun’s jaw, so gentle it almost tickles, so intimate it almost makes him tremble. “I never in a million years thought you’d choose me.”

Baekhyun, alarmed, picks his head up. “Why would you think that?” At Yixing’s thoughtful silence, Baekhyun starts to panic. “Did I fuck up by choosing you? Should I have skipped it? Was—”

“Hey.” Yixing lifts up to kiss Baekhyun soundly. “This wasn’t a test. I just meant that… I know we kissed before and that things have been constantly changing between us but I still didn’t know if—if we… I didn’t want to assume we wanted the same thing…”

Baekhyun’s breath catches in his throat. It may have taken him a while to untangle his feelings for Yixing from his Yesung-sorrow, but the last month has only proven to him time and time again that Yixing’s _not_ a rebound; Yixing is simply the greatest accident to ever happen to Baekhyun, and without him, his world would lose a little color. “Do you like me, Yixing?” he asks, because perhaps they should have started there to begin with.

“I like you,” Yixing breathes with no hesitation. “So much.”

“Well—You do?”

“You can’t tell?” Baekhyun scoots farther up the bed until their faces are level; Yixing uses the change to graze their lips, making Baekhyun’s eyes flutter shut. “How much I care about you?” 

Baekhyun parts his lips when Yixing presses forward, melting into one kiss, two kisses, three, slow and short and sweet. “I can tell,” Baekhyun whispers before the fourth. “I just maybe didn’t think it was more than you helping me heal sometimes.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be more than that,” Yixing murmurs, sincere in his words and the fifth kiss. “But the more I know you the more I fall, Baek.”

Baekhyun’s breath stutters in his throat, heart rate spiking. Yixing _likes_ him. Yixing considers him more than a charity case, more than a friend, it’s _confirmed._

He initiates the sixth kiss, crawling on top of Yixing, straddling his hips and pressing into his hands when they caress his thighs, his ass. “Will you still catch me?” he whispers into parted lips.

“You can count on it, baby.”

 

 

“So, Yixing,” Baekhyun teasingly murmurs into the skin of Yixing’s chest. His eyes droop when Yixing’s fingers gently glide up and down his back; it feels like they’ve been at it for hours, and maybe they have, but either way, Baekhyun isn’t sure he’s ever felt so drained yet so sexually satisfied in his life. “So…” He snickers. “Step seven sure was fun. Is there a step eight?”

Yixing smiles, Baekhyun can hear it in his voice. “Maybe.”

He whines a little. “Don’t make me work for it. I just rode you into oblivion. Give me my compensation!”

It takes a moment for Yixing to stop choking, and then to stop laughing.

Baekhyun pinches him. “Yah, answer my question! Is there a step eight?” There’s only one thing Baekhyun wants to hear him say, but he’s not sure he will—

“Go out with me.”

There it is. Withholding a grin the best he can, Baekhyun turns until his chin is propped on his hands on Yixing’s chest. “On a date?”

“No, to the trash can,” Yixing deadpans, but his lips pull upward at the corners and he runs his fingers through Baekhyun’s sweat-damp hair. “Yes, on a date. If you want, of course.”

“Optional, but recommended?” Baekhyun pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

Yixing laughs. “Optional, but _highly_ recommended, even.”

“Hmm… well if it’s optional…”

“Hey!” Yixing tugs playfully at Baekhyun’s hair and Baekhyun laughs joyfully.

“Of course I’d love to, Yixing.” He picks his head up to smile at Yixing, and is almost immediately being kissed, a sweet, needy little thing that fills Baekhyun with so much warmth, he’s certain his heart will catch fire. He giggles with pure joy, hand cupping Yixing’s cheek as he indulges him, earnestly muttering, “God, I’d love to.”

They don’t get much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was my first time writing smut since finishing cashmere craving, and it was like pulling teeth aaaand i never want to do it again sgjklhsg but huuuuuge shoutout to kiki for putting up with me not only through this chapter, but through them all. ily
> 
> let me know what you guys think~~ only one chapter left uwu
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter.](http://twitter.com/baekville)  
> [curiouscat.](http://curiouscat.me)


	8. Step Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun and Yixing go on their first official date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. i'm really sorry this took so long to get posted.  
> when i say i had everything done except the date, but the date just didn't want to be /written/... *cries*  
> it's so not worth the wait, but i hope the pure fluff is enjoyable, nonetheless.
> 
> huge, endless thanks to kiki for constantly keeping up with my doc and helping me get through this fic in one piece. it really means a lot to me <3
> 
> warnings: brief depictions of sex, and also cockwarming.

****

**Step Eight: Go on a Date With Yixing Zhang**

“If you let me pay, you can choose where we go.”

“Yixing!” Baekhyun laughs, setting the bowl he just washed on the drying rack while Yixing sweeps behind him. “That’s not how a compromise works!”

Yixing quickly props the broom against the counter before slowly sliding his arms around Baekhyun from behind, lips finding solace in the crook of his neck, pressing slow, sensual kisses that make the ladle in his hands clatter to the sink. “It’s how my compromise works today,” Yixing whispers, and the feeling of the words on his skin makes him shiver. “I just want to spoil you, baby.”

Baekhyun is already trembling with desire before Yixing’s hand even glides down to gently cup his crotch, and Baekhyun is so immediately lost in the touch, the dirty dishes are forgotten and Baekhyun is grasping behind himself at Yixing’s hips with wet hands, making Yixing _feel_ the slow way he rolls his hips against him.

“Fuck,” Yixing breathes. “You’re so—come on. I wanna show you just how much I appreciate you.”

Baekhyun whimpers at the loss of touches all around him, but lets himself be dragged upstairs, lets himself be disrobed and led under the shower spray as Yixing washes him up _thoroughly._ And as if Baekhyun isn’t turned on enough, Yixing spins him around to face the wall before dropping to his knees and burying his face in Baekhyun’s ass, tongue insistently probing at Baekhyun’s rim until it pushes through, making Baekhyun moan obscenely, his knees nearly giving out on the spot.

Just like that, another couple of hours of their lives are lost to sex, but Baekhyun could never be sorry about that, not when he’s never had sex this good in his life, not when it’s _Yixing._

“You win. You can pay for our date,” Baekhyun grumbles, curling up on his side and wiggling his hips a little when Yixing, wrapping himself around him, pushes his soft cock further inside Baekhyun. “You camping out in there?” he mutters almost incoherently; his body clearly wants to sleep again and somehow being Yixing’s own personal cock-warmer is only lulling him further toward unconsciousness.

“Mm. Is it uncomfortable for you?”

“No, actually. Not yet. Stay as long as you like.”

Yixing snorts, nuzzling his nose against the back of Baekhyun’s hair, mumbling, “Where do you want to go tonight, then?”

Baekhyun hums. “Later. Sleep now.”

 

 

“Baekhyun,” Yixing whines as he watches Baekhyun sift through the closet for an idea of something to wear to a date they haven’t even decided on. “You said you would pick!”

“I was under the influence of your dick!” Baekhyun exclaims. “If you’re paying, I want us to go where you want.”

“It should be something we _both_ want, baby, but I just wanted it to be perfect for you.”

Baekhyun sighs, drawing his eyebrows together as he paces over to Yixing on the bed and sits on his lap, cupping his cheek. “It’ll be perfect no matter what because I’m with you, Yixing,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Pick somewhere you like for dinner and maybe I’ll pick somewhere for us to go after. How does that sound?”

Yixing purses his lips with fake suspicion before conceding, nodding his head. “Okay. I’ll accept that.”

Baekhyun beams. “Good. Now, I guess I have to go home and wait for you to pick me up like a proper date because...I only have street clothes here and Kyungsoo needs the car anyway.”

“Mmm…” Yixing reels him in for a long kiss. “Okay. I’ll see you in an hour?”

Baekhyun nods before settling in for another lengthy, easy kiss. “Sounds good.”

 

 

“This place is...really nice,” Baekhyun breathes into Yixing’s ear, grasping onto his arm as they wait to be sat at a table the staff is cleaning in the corner. He’s already a bit flustered, both from how good Yixing looks in his similar blazer and white button-down shirt, and the way they had just all but ravished each other in the car after driving for forty-five minutes looking too good to each other, but now they’re in a restaurant that’s nicer than any Baekhyun has ever been in and he’s never felt so out of place, yet so at home standing next to Yixing.

“It’s really good, I promise,” Yixing whispers back. “It’s not like those fancy restaurants where you spend all your money on three bites of food at a time.”

Baekhyun giggles, relaxing a bit just as the hostess comes back and tells them to follow her. The table is small enough between them that their legs automatically tangle beneath the cloth, and it’s anchoring for Baekhyun.

“I’m so nervous,” he breathes out with a giggle when their waiter goes to fetch their drinks.

Yixing’s concerned face is so laced with fondness as he grabs Baekhyun’s hand on the table top, that Baekhyun thinks he might literally be melting. “Why, baby?”

“I don’t know.” He bites his lip. “I shouldn’t be, because it’s just you and me, but… I don’t know, Yixing. I—“ he giggles again, shaking his head. “I just like you so much.”

Yixing immediately coos, reaching over to caress Baekhyun’s cheek, making his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. “You’re so cute. Same here, Baekhyunnie.”

Their waiter returns with their drinks and lists off the specials for the night while Yixing continues holding Baekhyun’s hand, a constant comfort in the onslaught of nervousness.

But once they quickly place their order, they fall into easy chatter, so absorbed in each other that they’re both surprised when their food comes out, and Baekhyun’s body catches up with his mind in realizing he has nothing to worry about tonight. He’s been on countless dates with Yixing before. They just weren’t called dates.

He says as much out loud as he feeds Yixing a bite of his chicken, and Yixing covers his mouth to laugh around it as he chews. “God, you’re right,” he says once he swallows. “Especially the lake.”

_”Especially_ the lake,” Baekhyun agrees, flushing at the memory despite the fact they’ve spent the last 24 hours having _a lot_ of sex.

“That was—“ Yixing shakes his head, his cheeks a little red too. “I’d say that was when I knew how much I liked you, but I’d be lying.”

“Oh?” Baekhyun raises a brow, nibbling on his food as he waits.

Yixing smiles, and Baekhyun thinks it’s the first time he’s ever appeared _bashful._ “At first, helping you was a project. You were achingly sweet and clearly deserved better, and all I wanted was to help.” He sips his water. “But then later into our friendship, I’d catch myself watching you sleep if I woke up in the middle of the night, and like, cooing over the little whimpering noises you make and the way you’d press into my hand if I touched your cheek.”

Baekhyun smiles down at his plate.

“I don’t know, baby, but by the time we were at the lake, I liked you so much already. I felt horrible though, because it suddenly felt like I was taking advantage of you, keeping you at my side for my own benefit, but I swear that was never the case—“

“Hey.” Baekhyun frowns, reaching across the table to brush a stray lock of hair from Yixing’s eye. Yixing gently catches his hand and kisses his fingers, sending a chill through him. “I know, Xing. I’ve never, ever thought you were taking advantage of me. You helped me so much. You were my rock. And I just happened to fall for you along the way. I mean, how could I not?” Baekhyun brushes his fingers along Yixing’s cheek, his thumb along Yixing’s lips. “The fact you’re one of the sexiest men alive aside, there’s something about you, Xing. We click in a way I never have clicked with someone before. And even though it took me a while to catch on to what I was feeling because of everything else going on, I think part of me always knew that much. That we just...fit.”

“We really do,” Yixing breathes, then shakes his head a bit. “Seriously, though, Baekhyun, I’m sorry for kissing you at the lake. It was too soon and—“

Baekhyun cries out, only to immediately cover his mouth and glance around at the people staring at them in annoyance. When his gaze settles back on Yixing’s surprised one, he says, “Don’t apologize for that!”

“But—“

“That was one of the sexiest experiences of my life, first of all, and also one of the most romantic, oddly enough…”

“I know what you mean,” Yixing whispers, a hundred miles away suddenly, maybe even back at the lake in question.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun huffs. “I wanted that kiss, Yixing. I wanted all the ones after it. I wanted you on top of me on the shore when we were too tired to swim—“

Yixing visibly shudders. “That was too far. We should’ve stopped way before we got to that point. But you just…plopped onto your back on the edge of the lake, the water still washing over your legs, and I couldn’t—I couldn’t stop myself from climbing on top of you and kissing you some more. There was just...something about you under the moonlight like that. Something so fucking beautiful and mesmerizing—“

Baekhyun shudders now, chilled when all the heat in his body seems to rush to his face. “I don’t regret any of it.”

“God, if you hadn’t yawned though…”

Pouting, Baekhyun says, “Beer makes me sleepy. Then we swam too.”

“I know.” Yixing smiles, some of the haze in his eyes lifting. “But if you hadn’t, we might’ve…”

Baekhyun swallows and nods. “Yeah. We might’ve.”

They stare at each other for an unending moment, and Baekhyun thinks they’re both back on the shore of that lake, feeling the uncomfortable sand and cool brush of water but uncaring when they were pressed against each other as they were. Baekhyun vaguely remembers clawing at Yixing’s back, trying to pull him impossibly closer. He remembers being just on the verge of begging, the words on the tip of his tongue, when a yawn took over instead, stopping their kiss midway through.

Yixing had been surprised, but then they’d laughed, and the moment was broken. They gathered their clothes and hurried back to the house in a fit of giggles and jumped right into separate showers.

“I’m glad we didn’t,” Yixing finally says, eyes softening.

A smile stretches across Baekhyun’s lips. “Me too. I mean, I wanted to. Like, _really_ wanted to. But it really wasn’t the right time.”

“Definitely not.” They slowly get back to eating the last bit of their food. “We sure did everything backwards, didn’t we?” Yixing teases once they’re almost done.

Baekhyun sips his soda, having forgone wine so he didn’t get sleepy. He snorts. “I guess we did.”

“Started sleeping in the same bed before we really even knew each other, kissed before you were over your ex, had mind-blowing sex before our first date…”

Laughing, Baekhyun shakes his head. “There is no right way to do these things, babe, you know that. Besides…” He sits back, gently pushing his plate away from him before rubbing his belly. “It’s what makes us so special.”

“We’re special?” Yixing asks as he flags down their waiter for their bill.

Biting his lip, Baekhyun leans forward to prop his head on his hand on the table, eyes bright. “You’re special.”

It delights Baekhyun to see Yixing’s cheeks flush pink as he smiles down at the table, and only once the waiter has taken Yixing’s card to pay for the meal does he say, “Let’s blow this popsicle joint, baby.”

Baekhyun laughs loud enough to warrant more annoyed glares.

 

 

“Where are you taking me?” Yixing giggles, slipping his hand into Baekhyun’s as they walk down a strip of shops and restaurants.

Baekhyun smiles over at him, warm all over with affection and mischief. He sidles closer to his boyfriend and puckers his lips for a kiss, which Yixing happily gives him. “It’s not a surprise, per say,” Baekhyun responds. “But I didn’t want you to knock it before you try it, y’know?”

“Hmm.” Yixing narrows his eyes in thought, but doesn’t fight it, content to walk anywhere with Baekhyun, it seems, and to let Baekhyun step in front of him and undo a couple of buttons on his dress shirt as they walk. They already left their blazers in the car, per Baekhyun’s instruction, and now Baekhyun is trying to make them look as casual as possible.

Then they reach the door and Baekhyun leads Yixing into an arcade.

Yixing laughs and shakes his head, but doesn’t resist when Baekhyun pulls him further and further in, moving closer to him to dodge the teenagers despite the odd looks they’re getting.

“Are you disappointed?” Baekhyun cheekily asks after they’ve loaded a card with money to be spent on games.

Yixing just shakes his head, holding Baekhyun’s head in place as he kisses his forehead. “Of course not. I’d walk to the ends of the earth for you.”

Baekhyun swallows, eyes widening a little. “M-Maybe we should skip this part after all and just—“

Yixing flicks his shoulder, chuckling. “Be good, Baekhyunnie. We have all the time in the world for that. Now.” Yixing squares his shoulders. “Take me to PacMan. Or whoever.”

“Oh no, you’re so out of touch— _I must fix this.”_

Their first mistake is deciding to just walk around and look at the different games available, because by the time they get to the third one that Baekhyun _really_ wants to play, he gives in and hops inside, dragging Yixing with him and teaching him how to protect their jeep from dinosaurs.

They end up spending one-third of their money on that game alone because Yixing really likes the dinosaurs.

Baekhyun is enamoured.

They play PacMan, to appease Yixing’s traditional taste, and Baekhyun watches him play a couple of rounds of basketball, still just as enamoured, if not more, by the subtle way Yixing’s arms strain against their sleeves when he makes a shot, and the pleased grin he shines at Baekhyun every time he makes it.

“You’re so cute,” Baekhyun murmurs, leaning over to kiss him when they sit down to play a racing game against each other.

Yixing pouts. “Am not.”

Baekhyun just laughs, landing one more quick peck before inserting their card to start the game. “We’re not arguing over this again. You’re cute and that's that.”

They play two rounds of that, laughing the entire time as they teasingly elbow at each other to try running each other off the road, and then they wander around the arcade like they’d originally intended to do, checking out the different games, scanning through the prize room, and ignoring the glances people throw their way for their out of place attire.

Yixing gets really excited when they stumble across a row of three large crane machines. “I’m going to win you something!” he determinedly declares, grabbing the card from Baekhyun’s hand as Baekhyun giggles and bites his lip, settling behind Yixing with gentle hands on Yixing’s hips, and his chin on Yixing’s shoulder.

_I’ve already won,_ Baekhyun can’t help but think, watching as Yixing tries with all his might to grab a Corgi plush, growing increasingly more frustrated as he fails three times in a row.

Baekhyun squeezes Yixing’s waist, moving next to him and offering a mischievous grin. “Let me try.”

Yixing pouts, but concedes, and steps aside, simply resting his hand on Baekhyun’s lower back as he watches closely. Baekhyun would be nervous if the mechanics of crane machines weren’t as easy as breathing to him.

He wins the Corgi plush on the first try.

He holds it out to Yixing with a sweet smile, who only pouts at him through the amazement in his eyes. “That was supposed to be for you.”

Immediately, Baekhyun hugs it to his chest, grin softening before he holds it out to Yixing again. “Let me win you one, then.”

“Baek, it’s just chance! You can’t win again.”

Baekhyun only smiles. And then laughs when he’s handing over a small, white stuffed sheep to a shocked Yixing. “Happy first date,” Baekhyun murmurs, cupping Yixing’s cheek.

Yixing kisses his palm. “Happy first date, baby.”

“You want me to win you another one?” Baekhyun turns back to the crane machine. “I’ll win all of them if you want me to. Just say the word.”

Chuckling, Yixing leans over and kisses his shoulder. “How in the world is this one of your skills?”

“A _lot_ of time in the local arcade with Kyungsoo. To get away from our families.” Baekhyun throws a distracted smile over his shoulder. “I don’t win _every_ time, but I’ve got an eye for how to make it work. Kyungsoo still has a fox plush that I won for him when we were kids.”

“That’s so sweet,” Yixing mutters. “Oh, that dragon is cute—”

“On it.”

They each end up leaving the arcade with an armful of stuffed animals and creatures, giggling as they pile them in the backseat of Yixing’s car, kissing each other silly when Yixing presses Baekhyun back against the car door, slotting a thigh between his legs as naturally as breathing.

“Should I drive you home now?” Yixing asks his parted lips. “Kiss you goodnight?”

A chill runs down Baekhyun’s spine, and only after a few suggestive kisses does he slowly nod, grip in Yixing’s shirt loosening. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.”

 

 

It’s not long before Baekhyun’s back presses into the doorframe of his apartment instead of the car as Yixing caresses his cheek with his thumb, capturing him in a slow, sweet kiss that Baekhyun feels in his toes.

“Well…” Yixing sighs against his lips. “Goodnight, baby.”

Baekhyun steals another kiss. “Goodnight, Xing.”

He opens the door without turning around, holding Yixing’s gaze until he’s inside and quietly shutting the door.

Baekhyun bites his lip, trying to fight the force of his smile and utterly failing. He keeps his hand on the doorknob and counts in his head. _One. Two. Three._

He pulls the door open and latches onto Yixing’s wrist, dragging him inside as they both giggle like schoolchildren.

He doesn’t stop pulling, not until the door is clicked shut and Yixing is sliding his arms around his waist, diving in for one of the divine kisses that Baekhyun loves so much.

They maybe get a little carried away once Baekhyun slips his tongue into Yixing’s mouth, with him sinking his fingers into Yixing’s hair, and Yixing’s hand trailing down to cup his ass appreciatively.

Someone clearing their throat behind Baekhyun stops them, and Baekhyun peeks over his shoulder to grin sheepishly at Kyungsoo.

“I don’t care how cute you guys are,” he says, deadpan. “If you have sex in the living room I’m kicking you out.”

Baekhyun gasps, theatrical as ever. “You would never!”

Kyungsoo’s lip quirks, but he keeps his tone. “Don’t try me, Baek.”

“Jongdae and Seulgi had sex in here like two days ago!” Baekhyun blurts.

And then they hear, _”Why would you tell him that?!”_ screeched from Jongdae’s room, and Baekhyun might feel a _little_ bad for snitching, but still giggles when Kyungsoo rounds on Jongdae, going for his door.

_”Jongdae! That’s literally the one fucking rule we have in this apartment!”_

_”Shut up! I haven’t forgotten walking in on Chanyeol sucking you off while you were in there watching Star Wars!”_

_”Jongdae!”_

Baekhyun and Yixing laugh into each other’s shoulders, and Yixing wipes away the tears it produces in Baekhyun’s eyes.

Slowly, their laughter fades into soft smiles, and they drift close enough for their noses to graze.

“Hi,” Yixing murmurs.

Baekhyun bites his lip. “Hi.”

“How did I get so lucky?”

Heat rushes to Baekhyun’s cheeks, and his heart launches in his throat. “I-I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do,” Yixing whispers, stealing a soft kiss. “I’m so lucky to have found you, baby.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Baekhyun whispers back. “After all, you didn’t have me arrested.”

Scoffing, Yixing playfully shoves at Baekhyun’s shoulder, but he doesn’t go anywhere, still held tightly in place by Yixing’s other arm. “You’re insufferable! We were having a moment!”

Baekhyun laughs, pushing up on his tiptoes to meet Yixing in a sound kiss. “I really am the lucky one,” he mutters in between kisses, humming when Yixing can’t help himself from nibbling on Baekhyun’s bottom lip.

They spend a little longer exchanging playful kisses, hands roaming wherever they please until they’re satisfied enough to pull back and just...hold each other for a little while.

“You know…” Baekhyun starts, after they’ve merely gazed at each other for a long moment. “I think this whole thing was less the science of letting go and more…” He wraps his arms around Yixing’s neck, pursing his lips in thought. “The science of falling in love.” He winks, making it extra obnoxious, and Yixing laughs as he kisses him.

“You saying you’re falling in love with me, Baekhyun?” Yixing teases, but there’s this hopeful glint in his eyes that Baekhyun latches onto.

“I’m saying that I never stood a chance against you.”

Yixing’s grin softens, and so does the way he kisses Baekhyun. “Ditto.”

 

 

**_[Six Months Later]_ **

“Alright,” Baekhyun laughs into his phone, which is held between his ear and shoulder as he carefully carries a box through the front door. “No rush. I’ll see you in a minute. I love you, baby.”

_”I love you, too, baby.”_

Baekhyun giggles. “Alright, bye bye.”

He can’t hang up, but Yixing does it for him, so Baekhyun just focuses on finding a place to put the box in his hands amongst the other twenty boxes piled in the living room.

“Seriously, Baekhyunnie,” Jongdae whines, walking in behind him. “Why do you have so many fucking boxes? Where did you even keep this stuff?”

Baekhyun is too occupied with trying to set his box in the corner and not drop his phone to answer, but Kyungsoo is clearly the next to walk in, as he answers instead, “He packed up some stuff from his aunt’s house too. Plus he has a lot of clothes.”

“Which makes no sense!” Jongdae proclaims. “He spends ninety percent of his time in other peoples’ clothes anyway! You clothes thief.”

“Oh yeah, we won’t be able to tell his and Yixing’s clothes apart once Baekhyun is fully moved in,” Kyungsoo says. “Yixing’s just as bad about wearing Baekhyun’s hoodies and stuff.”

_”Ugh._ You guys make me sick.”

“So I guess things aren’t working out with Junmyeon?” Seulgi asks as she prances in with Baekhyun’s duffel bags. She and Jongdae had kept things casual for a little while, but had ultimately decided that was all it was. Casual. But there were no hard feelings and if anything, they’re all closer to Seulgi than ever. 

It still makes Baekhyun happy to see exes that can remain good friends, to know that he and Kyungsoo aren’t just a special case.

“Things are _perfect_ with Junmyeon, thank you very much,” Jongdae whines. “So perfect.”

Baekhyun exchanges glances with Kyungsoo and Seulgi, and they all roll their eyes. “Ah,” Baekhyun says. “So you’re upset that you’ve caught the lovebug with him.”

“The _what?!”_ Jongdae screeches. “I’ve caught no such thing!”

Baekhyun slides over to Jongdae, making grabby hands at him and grinning cheekily. “You _looove_ him. You wanna move in with him,” he sings, pinching Jongdae’s cheeks.

Jongdae slaps at him until he stops, _whimpering._ “I do not! I barely know him!”

“Me and Baekhyun haven’t known each other for _that_ long,” Yixing says as he suddenly walks through the front door. Baekhyun gasps and runs to him. “In the grand scheme of things. Time doesn’t really— _oof—“_

Baekhyun crashes into Yixing, throwing his arms around his neck and planting a firm kiss on his lips in greeting. Yixing melts into it as he gets over his shock, sliding his hands around Baekhyun’s waist and humming as Baekhyun parts his lips for him, who does his best not to smile when Yixing’s tongue slips between them.

A chorus of cleared throats sounds around the room but they ignore it all, getting their fill of each other as if they didn’t spend half their night kissing. But Baekhyun had awoken to an empty bed this morning because Yixing had a really early meeting a couple of hours outside of town, and that was just unacceptable. Baekhyun needs recompense for waking up alone, and Yixing is always willing to oblige, no matter where they are.

“Welcome home,” Baekhyun whispers once all they’re capable of doing is pressing their smiles together.

Yixing huffs, kissing Baekhyun’s bottom lip. “I love the sound of that. Welcome home to you too, baby. Welcome home.”

 

 

It had been the easiest decision Baekhyun’s ever made, when Yixing asked him to move in a month ago. They were having a nice dinner, celebrating the success of the album Yixing had helped piece together six or seven months ago, when Yixing announced that he was no longer renting his house from Yesung’s family.

He was buying it.

If Baekhyun thinks about it too hard, it might be a little weird that he, himself, will be moving into Yesung’s old house, but it has no traces of him left, and Baekhyun and Yixing never would have been willing to give up the lookout cliff out back anyway, not when after all this time, it still feels like paradise.

_”Move in with me,”_ Yixing had breathed out, the candlelight dancing on his cheeks.

_”I thought you’d never ask.”_

 

 

Their friends stay as long as they can to help, long enough to at least make the living room look presentable again, the remaining boxes stacked in the corner and out of the way from Baekhyun and Yixing’s lazy lounging on the couch, while they wait for pizza to arrive.

“It feels weird,” Baekhyun murmurs, hand slipping under Yixing’s shirt to caress his skin. “Knowing that in the morning, I don’t have to go home because—“

“Because you are home.”

Smiling softly, Baekhyun picks up his head from Yixing’s shoulder, knowing he’ll be met with a sweet kiss. He preens when he’s right. “It’s not too soon, right?” Baekhyun frowns into Yixing’s next kiss. “Like, we moved really fast—“

“Hey.” Yixing shakes his head, taking Baekhyun’s face in his hands. “We’ve talked about this. We’ve basically been sharing a bed since we met, baby. If nothing else, think of this as a convenience, but…” Yixing kisses him. “Know that I don’t care how long we’ve been together. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, and I’m certain I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Baekhyun’s mild fit of anxiety seems to melt on the spot and he laughs, pleased, and turns to kiss each of Yixing’s hands. “Same here. Same here. I love you so much.”

So much, that he’s not sure he ever really loved Yesung. The more that time passes, and the more he breaks down his life with the new therapist he sees twice a month, the more he remembers wondering why Yesung was so cold in certain moments, why it sometimes, a lot of times, felt like he didn’t care about Baekhyun. He can see now that Yesung _did_ mostly use him for sex, and that the only times he really seemed to enjoy being with Baekhyun was when they played music together in school.

Whereas Baekhyun can tell how much Yixing cares for him by his smile alone, which always shines despite how hard of a day he’s had, or how stressed he is. Their relationship is mutual in every aspect; they’re there for each other, care for each other, love each other unconditionally.

Baekhyun has never been so sure of anything in his life.

They’re kissing again, while Baekhyun’s thoughts run wild, but he’s aware enough to shift until he can straddle Yixing’s hips, slipping his tongue into Yixing’s mouth and trying not to grin when Yixing slides his hands onto Baekhyun’s ass and moans. He loves Baekhyun’s butt.

It isn’t long before they’re grinding their crotches together, stopping kissing to pant or sigh when it feels exceptionally good, both working up a thin sheen of sweat as they grow half-hard in their sweatpants.

Yixing has just slipped his hands into Baekhyun’s pants to knead his ass when the doorbell rings.

“Shit,” Baekhyun gasps. “I forgot about the pizza.”

Yixing whines cutely, not removing his hands from Baekhyun’s pants just yet. “So did I.”

Baekhyun leans down to kiss him long and slow, rolling his hips at the same pace and making Yixing groan into his mouth. “We can play all night, baby,” Baekhyun whispers. “But right now, I’m starving. Pizza beats sex, tonight, sorry.”

The doorbell rings again and Yixing full on _pouts._ Oh, he’s playing _dirty,_ using Baekhyun’s own tricks on him. “How about I eat you out while you eat pizza?”

_”Yixing!”_ Baekhyun bursts out laughing, sitting back on his haunches and pulling Yixing’s hands from his pants himself. “That wouldn’t be very sexy of me.”

“Mm.” Yixing’s thumb swipes Baekhyun’s hip bone. “You’re sexy no matter what you do.”

Giggling like a nervous little schoolgirl, Baekhyun scrambles from Yixing’s lap, putting distance between them. “Stay back, demon!” he teases, biting his lip as he walks backward to the front door. Yixing’s lips quirk into an amused grin, but it quickly morphs into appreciation as his eyes trail down Baekhyun's body.

Baekhyun squeaks and hurries to the door—Yixing will be the _death_ of him—and signs for the pizza as casually as he can, hoping the delivery girl doesn’t notice that he’s almost fully hard as he does. He doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

Once the pizza is paid for, Baekhyun takes it straight to the kitchen and immediately abandons it, despite how delectable it smells, or how his stomach rumbles.

“Where’s the—“ Yixing starts, but shuts up when Baekhyun climbs back on top of him with a purpose. “Oh, thank _god,”_ he mutters when Baekhyun stands on his knees and shoves his pants and underwear down to his thighs, and then he immediately helps Yixing do the same.

“You always win,” Baekhyun fake-grumps as he lays himself back over Yixing’s body. He makes needy work of Yixing’s neck as he takes both of their cocks into his hand.

“Baby, baby, baby,” Yixing sighs, predictably resting his hands on Baekhyun’s ass again. “I won the day I met you— _ah_ —god, your hands are fucking divine.”

“The way you shift from—from disgustingly romantic to s-sexual praise is astounding—“

“It’s all you, baby—it-it’s all you—“

Neither of them last very long, not with Yixing so worked up and consistently spewing praise, and not with the overwhelming feeling of home resonating in Baekhyun’s heart knowing this is the first night in _his_ place with Yixing.

They end up in a gross, sweaty pile when they finish, the sound of their stomachs growling in the sated silence making them tiredly giggle. “Only you could make me choose something else over pizza,” Baekhyun murmurs, nuzzling into the crook of Yixing’s neck. “Only you.”

Yixing hums. “I’ll buy you all the pizza in the world to make up for it.”

“Ugh, I love you.”

Laughing, Yixing wraps his arms around Baekhyun, holding him tight as their heartbeats gradually slow back into a normal pace. It’s quiet for a long time before Yixing speaks up again. “What if I said something really corny right now?”

“You? Corny? Never.”

“Baekhyun.” Yixing takes a deep breath, staring Baekhyun square in the eyes when he picks his head up to see him, curiosity peaked. “You didn’t just break into my house that night—” 

“—God, don’t you dare say it—”

“—you broke into my heart.”

Baekhyun doesn’t spare him the dramatics, groaning as he slides from the couch to the floor and melts into a puddle of raucous laughter, clutching his stomach as he rolls around, all but screeching, _”I can’t believe you said it!”_

When he wipes his tears of joy from his cheeks and rolls back over to see Yixing, Yixing is on his side, head propped in his hand, sweet smile on his lips. “I’ll never, ever get tired of watching you laugh,” he murmurs, gaze so full of love the room is brimming with it. Baekhyun’s breath catches in his throat. “The way you just...look like happiness personified.”

“Xing…”

“You shine so bright, Baekhyun, and I’m so lucky to be allowed to bask in your light.”

Baekhyun wastes no time climbing back onto the couch and Yixing, overwhelmed with the need to kiss Yixing until he can’t breathe anymore.

The pizza is left until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys enjoyed this fic <3  
> let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/baekville) and [curiouscat.](http://curiouscat.me/bkxngs)


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